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                  <text>&lt;strong&gt;Physical Media:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;br /&gt;Box 7, Folder 3 - Oral Histories Project Materials&lt;br /&gt;Box 7, Folder 4 - OSU Materials&lt;br /&gt;Box 7, Folder 5 - Strategic Planning &amp;amp; Leadership&lt;br /&gt;Box 7, Folder 6 - Project Notes&lt;br /&gt;Items Not in Folders&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Digital Media:&lt;/strong&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;h1&gt;INTERVIEW QUESTIONS – TULSA GLBT HISTORY PROJECT&lt;/h1&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Revised September 11, 2005&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt; &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Basic Biography&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt; &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Where/when were you born?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;What is your ethnic background?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Family background? Education?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;How long have you lived in Tulsa? What brought you here?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Occupations? Out at work?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Marriage? Children?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Long-term GLBT relationships?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sexual Identity&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Would you classify yourself as homosexual, bisexual, or heterosexual for most of your adult life?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;If homosexual/bisexual, how long have you been “out”?   When did you have your first homosexual experience?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;What was your first visit to a gay-related place or event like? What did you expect?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Did your sexual preference create problems for you or between you and your family?   Employment issues?   Neighborhood issues?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Did/do you have a strong network of gay friends and/or acquaintances?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;How did these relationships develop?   When/how did you realize that there were others that shared your sexual preference?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;How visible were you and your friends in the community?   Did you ever encounter prejudice on the part of the police, government officials, etc.?   What kind of relationships did you and your fiends have with the police, religious authorities, district attorneys, etc.?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;What were the limits of “acceptable” public behavior and how were the norms enforced?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Community &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;How did one know if somebody was homosexual in the 1920s/1930s/1940s/1950s in Tulsa?  &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Were there any distinctive attitudes, fashions, language, or occupations that seemed to resonate with your homosexual friends than other groups?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Social taboos? No-nos?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Ways of finding each other?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;How did you keep in touch with current events relating to your homosexuality?  Any underground newspapers or newsletters?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Where did you and your friends hang out?   Any particular establishments, neighborhoods, parks, homes, or other places that were popular?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;“Rules” for how to act around GLBT people, around straight people? In public? Private?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Role models and/or inspirations within the community? Famous people? Cultural icons?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Stories from elders – did you recall stories you heard from older GLBT people about their experiences?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Did elders give you any advice?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;What about bars and honkey-tonks?   Any of them exclusively cater to gay/bisexual men/women?   If so, where were they located and what were they called?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Were there ever any galas, socials, or “drag balls” in the Tulsa area that you heard about or attended?  Explain…&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Any pictures or memorabilia you might like to share?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;What impact did events like WWI, WWII, the Great Depression, or the tumultuous 1950s have on your lifestyle, friendships, socializing patterns, etc.   Any discernible turning points in the acceptance/mortification of homosexuality that you can remember?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;ol&gt;
&lt;li&gt;What was your military experience like? Stats?&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Were you “out”? Others?&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;/ol&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Were you or anyone you knew ever involuntarily committed because of your sexuality?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Substance abuse?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Describe any distinctive examples of prejudice or violence you encountered in Tulsa that stemmed from your sexual preference?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Terms – what did you call yourselves? Gay? Queer? Butch/Femme?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Humor – what things made you laugh? GLBT-specific humor? Pranks? In-jokes?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Were butch-femme roles pervasive? Personal experiences? When/what?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;“Passing” by butch women? Violence? How strict were roles adhered to, enforced?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Interactions between gay men and women? Positive?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Was Tulsa any less tolerant of homosexuality than other places you lived/visited?  &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Was it easier being gay then than it is now?   Explain…&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Race/Ethnicity&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Personal background? Impact?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Recollections of white/black interaction within GLBT community?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Segregation?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;How do you account for white/black split in GLBT community now?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Black GLBT life? Memories to share? Contacts?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Ethnic/Race-specific bars, organizations?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Interracial relationships? Yours? Others’? Attitudes toward?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Your or other GLBT people’s involvement in the civil rights movement?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Racial prejudice within GLBT community?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Religion/Spirituality&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;What is your religious background? Did it affect your attitude toward your sexual identity? If so, how?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Changes in your religious beliefs after coming out? If so, why? What?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Membership in any GLBT religious organizations, churches? Experiences?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sex&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Let’s talk about sex---where did gay/bisexual men in Tulsa go if they wanted to have a sexual experience?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Was it easy to have a sexual encounter in Tulsa?   Were the police or community groups ever problematic in allowing these to occur?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;What are some of the most notorious or memorable sexual encounters you have personally had in Tulsa?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Slang?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Monogamy? Casual sex?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;AIDS? When did you first learn? Alter your behavior? Community’s response? Personal stories?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Was there ever any homosexual-heterosexual contact of which you remember?   How were the “straight” men viewed by the community?   Any prejudice or negative ramifications?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Impersonation&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;What do you know about the history of female impersonation in Tulsa?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;When did you first dress in drag?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;What led you to do this?   Anybody “lead” you to it, or did it just occur naturally?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Where would one go in the 1940s/1950s/1960s to do shows?   Any notorious drag bars/clubs?   Private parties?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Were they high profile affairs?   High profile people?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Did drag assume a large role in the gay community---was it a central aspect of socialization, a humorous escapade, a means to make a living?   Explain.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Leather/S/M&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt; &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Experiences? Events? Bars?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Bars &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;How many bars have you owned?  Names, dates, etc.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Were they always “gay,” or did you cultivate mixed crowds?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Lucrative business?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Did you face a lot of community pressure, police pressure, familial pressure in regard to starting/running a bar?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Which bars did you attend? Police harassment? Atmosphere?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Activism&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;What were the political values you grew up with?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Have they changed since then? How and why?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Active in social movements? Civil Rights? Anti-war? Women’s?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Were you ever politically active with GLBT issues? If so, what groups? Activities? Members?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Summing up&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Other topics you want to cover?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Significant changes? Advice to others?&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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                  <text>&lt;strong&gt;Physical Media:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;br /&gt;Box 7, Folder 3 - Oral Histories Project Materials&lt;br /&gt;Box 7, Folder 4 - OSU Materials&lt;br /&gt;Box 7, Folder 5 - Strategic Planning &amp;amp; Leadership&lt;br /&gt;Box 7, Folder 6 - Project Notes&lt;br /&gt;Items Not in Folders&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Digital Media:&lt;/strong&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;#__-____&lt;br /&gt;City ______________________________________&lt;br /&gt;State, County _______________________________&lt;br /&gt;Date ______________________________________&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;h3&gt;Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights&lt;/h3&gt;
&lt;h3&gt;GLBT History Project&lt;br /&gt;Informed Consent&lt;/h3&gt;
&lt;ol&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I hereby agree to participate in an interview in connection with the oral history project known as _____________________________________. I understand that I will be asked about _____________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________.&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;The interview will be videotaped and/or audio-taped. In the interview I may be identified by name, subject to my consent. I may also be identified by name in any transcript (whether verbatim or edited) of such interview, subject to my consent. If I choose to remain anonymous, I know that the tape(s) of my interview will be closed to use, and my name will not appear in the transcript or reference to any material contained in the interview. I know that in the case of choosing to remain anonymous, my interview will only be identified by an internal GLBT History Project tracking number.&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I understand that the interview will take approximately _____ hours and that I can withdraw from the project without prejudice prior to the execution and delivery of a deed of gift, a form of which is attached hereto. In the event that I withdraw from the interview, any tape made of the interview will be either given to me or destroyed, and no transcript will be made of the interview. I understand that a photograph of me will be taken or borrowed for duplication, and that if I withdraw from the project, the photograph will be given to me.&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Subject to the provisions of paragraph five below, I understand that, upon completion of the interview, the tape and content of the interview belong to Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights, and that the information in the interview can be used by Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights in any manner it will determine, subject only to the limitations listed below.&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights agrees that: (i) it will not use or exercise any of its rights to the information in the interview prior to the signing of the deed of gift; (ii) the deed of gift will be submitted to me for my signature at completion of the interview; and (iii) restrictions on the use of the interview can be placed in the deed of gift and will be accepted as amending Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Right's rights to the content of the interview. I understand that I have the right to review the tape or transcript of the interview before I sign the deed of gift.&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Any restrictions as to use of portions of the interview indicated by me will be edited out of the final copy of the transcript.&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I understand that at the conclusion of this project and upon signing the deed of gift, the tape, photograph, and one copy of the transcript will be kept in the possession of Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights and its Archive.&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;If I have questions about the research project or procedures, I know I can contact _________________________________ at the GLBT History Project, TOHR, P.O. Box 2687, Tulsa, OK 74101, (918) 743-4297 or via e-mail at history@tohr.org.&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;/ol&gt;
&lt;p&gt;If I feel I have not been treated according to the descriptions in this form, or that my rights as a participant in research have been violated during the course of this project, I know I can contact the President of the Board of Directors of Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights, P.O. Box 2687, Tulsa, OK 74101, (918) 743-4297 or by e-mail at bortolani@tohr.org.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;____ I agree to be identified by name in any transcript or reference to any information contained in this interview.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;____ I wish to remain anonymous in any transcript or reference to any information contained in this interview. I wish to have the tape(s) containing my interview closed to use. I wish to have my transcript only identified by an internal GLBT History Project  tracking number.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;____ I wish to have the following limitations placed on the use of my interview:&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Interviewer signature_____________________________________&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Interviewee signature_____________________________________&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Address _____________________________________&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;  _____________________________________&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;  _____________________________________&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Phone number _____________________________________&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Consent Date __/__/__&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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&lt;p&gt;Vernon Leon Jones, 88, of Tulsa, Oklahoma, left this earthly plane to be with his late partner Phil Wiley, on February 5&lt;sup&gt;th&lt;/sup&gt;, 2024.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;He was born in Oklahoma, on May 3&lt;sup&gt;rd&lt;/sup&gt;, 1935. As a gay man, born and raised here, Vernon’s chosen family is vast. He is survived by Hayward Jones, Nekesha Jones, JaKobe Jones, Sue Davis, Fred Hilliard, Arlowe Clementine, Mason Thomas, Rey Thomas, and so many other individuals that claimed Vernon as their friend, family, and elder.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Vernon was an active learner, even in his later years. He was always working to understand the world around him and was eternally hopeful for a better world. He was a strong advocate for marginalized peoples and was particularly committed to Queer and Black Liberation.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Vernon was a clear Taurus. He was intelligent, dependable, logical, honest, and generous. Vernon spent most of his life focused on making his community better. He was a holder of receipts. A maker of spreadsheets. A true community historian and archivist.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Vernon was dedicated to making people safer, both in his career in emergency management and his activist work in the fight against AIDS. He was not a stranger to controversy and was unrelenting in speaking his truth and the truth of the people he loved.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;In the years before his death, Vernon worked hard to ensure that the legacy of LGBTQ activism in Tulsa was properly recorded and preserved for current and future generations. His substantial archive is now housed in Oklahoma State University’s Archives. This collection will be witnessed by researchers and community members for years to come.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Vernon was a connector. He worked hard to bring people together and was always willing to give someone support that needed it. Even in his death, he is connecting individuals over their shared love and respect for him and his life.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Vernon fought hard for his community and the legacy of his late partner Phil Wiley. Anyone who knew Vernon was graced with stories of Phil’s life and legacy as well as their love for one another.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;In lieu of flowers, we ask that you remember Vernon by learning something new, taking a stand on social issues that are important to you, and keeping his life and legacy alive through storytelling.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Vernon’s memorial service will take place March 1&lt;sup&gt;st&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;span&gt; &lt;/span&gt;at 11 AM at Butler-Stumpff &amp;amp; Dyer Funeral Home (&lt;a href="https://www.bing.com/ck/a?!&amp;amp;&amp;amp;p=bfe3dfa29743f8d2JmltdHM9MTcwODY0NjQwMCZpZ3VpZD0xYTQ3OGQzZC1hYmNmLTYxMWUtMDhjNC05ZjI0YWFiYTYwNDUmaW5zaWQ9NTc0Nw&amp;amp;ptn=3&amp;amp;ver=2&amp;amp;hsh=3&amp;amp;fclid=1a478d3d-abcf-611e-08c4-9f24aaba6045&amp;amp;u=a1L21hcHM_Jm1lcGk9MTIzfn5Vbmtub3dufkFkZHJlc3NfTGluayZ0eT0xOCZxPUJ1dGxlci1TdHVtcGZmJTIwJTI2JTIwRHllciUyMEZ1bmVyYWwlMjBIb21lJTIwJTI2JTIwQ3JlbWF0b3J5JnNzPXlwaWQuWU43MDl4MTIzMDIxMzUmcHBvaXM9MzYuMTU2OTEzNzU3MzI0MjJfLTk1Ljk2MTc5OTYyMTU4MjAzX0J1dGxlci1TdHVtcGZmJTIwJTI2JTIwRHllciUyMEZ1bmVyYWwlMjBIb21lJTIwJTI2JTIwQ3JlbWF0b3J5X1lONzA5eDEyMzAyMTM1fiZjcD0zNi4xNTY5MTR-LTk1Ljk2MTgmdj0yJnNWPTEmRk9STT1NUFNSUEw&amp;amp;ntb=1"&gt;2103 E 3rd St, Tulsa, OK 74104&lt;/a&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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                    <text>1/8/26, 1:44 PM

Vernon Leon Jones - Butler-Stumpff &amp; Dyer Funeral Home &amp; Crematory

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Vernon Leon Jones
May 03, 1935 - February 05, 2024

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Vernon Leon Jones - Butler-Stumpff &amp; Dyer Funeral Home &amp; Crematory

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Obituary
Vernon Leon Jones, 88, of Tulsa, Oklahoma, left this earthly plane to be with his late partner Phil
Wiley, on February 5th, 2024.
He was born in Oklahoma, on May 3rd, 1935. As a gay man, born and raised here, Vernon’s chosen
family is vast. He is survived by Hayward Jones, Nekesha Jones, JaKobe Jones, Sue Davis, Fred
Hilliard, Arlowe Clementine, Mason Thomas, Rey Thomas, and so many other individuals that
claimed Vernon as their friend, family, and elder.
Vernon was an active learner, even in his later years. He was always working to understand the
world around him and was eternally hopeful for a better world. He was a strong advocate for
marginalized peoples and was particularly committed to Queer and Black Liberation.
Vernon was a clear Taurus. He was intelligent, dependable, logical, honest, and generous. Vernon
spent most of his life focused on making his community better. He was a holder of receipts. A
maker of spreadsheets. A true community historian and archivist.
Vernon was dedicated to making people safer, both in his career in emergency management and
his activist work in the fight against AIDS. He was not a stranger to controversy and was unrelenting
in speaking his truth and the truth of the people he loved.
In the years before his death, Vernon worked hard to ensure that the legacy of LGBTQ activism in
Tulsa was properly recorded and preserved for current and future generations. His substantial
archive is now housed in Oklahoma State University’s Archives. This collection will be witnessed by
researchers and community members for years to come.
Vernon was a connector. He worked hard to bring people together and was always willing to give
someone support that needed it. Even in his death, he is connecting individuals over their shared
love and respect for him and his life.
Vernon fought hard for his community and the legacy of his late partner Phil Wiley. Anyone who
knew Vernon was graced with stories of Phil’s life and legacy as well as their love for one another.
In lieu of flowers, we ask that you remember Vernon by learning something new, taking a stand on
social issues that are important to you, and keeping his life and legacy alive through storytelling.
https://www.butler-stumpff.com/obituaries/vernon-leon-jones/

2/4

�1/8/26, 1:44 PM

Vernon Leon Jones - Butler-Stumpff &amp; Dyer Funeral Home &amp; Crematory

Vernon’s memorial service will take place March 1st at 11 AM at Butler-Stumpff &amp; Dyer Funeral
Home (2103 E 3rd St, Tulsa, OK 74104).

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BUTLER-STUMPFF &amp; DYER
FUNERAL HOME &amp; CREMATORY
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2103 E 3rd St
Tulsa, OK 74104

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 Available 24/7

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                    <text>GLBT History Project
03/31/2006
Interview of Leslie Penrose by Laura Belmonte
Laura:

It is Friday, March 31 2006 and we are at the community
of Hope Church with Leslie Penrose for today’s interview.
Leslie, let’s just start with some basic biographical
information. When were you born, what was your family
and education like and those sorts of things?

Leslie:

I was born in Amarillo, Texas in 1951 into an oil field
family. And I grew up all over the Midwest and lived in
almost every state west of the Mississippi. I went to 18
different schools between kindergarten and college. Roots
are something I long for and moving is something I do
well. Although, in my adult life I have lived in Tulsa since
1981 and really do feel like I’m establishing roots here and
that this is home. Although my husband and I have
moved to like 5 different houses so we still practice the
moving thing.

Laura:

Did you have any brothers and sisters?

Leslie:

I did. I had two younger brothers and a younger sister so
I was the oldest of four: and they’re all still living. My dad
is dead but my mother is still living.

Laura:

And where did you go to college?

Leslie:

T.U. I got my masters at Phillips Theological Seminary in
Tulsa.

Laura:

And you mentioned you are married, how long have you
been?

Leslie:

35 years. I got married right out of high school. He was
in Marine Corps and it was just 6 months out of high
school and I moved to California to take up residence on
the marine base.

Laura:

Wow. And do you have children?

1

�Leslie:

I do. I have two. One was born there in California after
we had been married about two years. And the other one
was born on the East coast. We moved back here to go to
school and OU and from here we moved Richmond,
Virginia for Steve’s job and my second child was born
there.

Laura:

Well let’s move onto the issues of the gay community and
gay people and such. When was the first time you recall
hearing anything about the gay community in Tulsa?

Leslie:

I don’t know about hearing about the gay community in
Tulsa but I do know when my own sense of awareness of
gay issues happened. In the late 70s I was a banker. And
I was not happy with that and I took a trip to Central
America to try and figure things out and find out what I
wanted to be when I grew up. And the leader of the trip
that I went down there with was a gay man. And it was a
very transforming trip for me and my relationship with him
was very transforming. And I experienced him in a very
pastoral, religious way. And I asked him one day why he
wasn’t a pastor because he just had such a gift for it. And
he said, “Well I would be except that the church won’t let
me. I’m gay.” And it was not anything that I ever
consciously knew. I mean I must have been aware of it on
some level but it had never been part of my consciousness
that that was where the church was. And it just blew my
socks off and I continued to maintain a relationship with
him but it actually that experience and my experience in
Central America that drove me to seminary. And once I
was in seminary, that issue and other issues of justice just
kept pushing me to the edge: and I’d quit seminary and
start it again and then I think I can’t do this church
because it’s way too oppressive. But there was also
something within me that came out of that trip to Central
America that said, “My experience says there’s a different
way of being a church, a way that is life giving.” And I
knew that, and I wanted to be a part of that.

Laura:

Talk to me a little bit about your experiences at Phillips.
Why did you decide to go there?

Leslie:

Well I decided to go there because it was the only
seminary available to me. I was a young mother with

2

�young kids. I needed a local place. They were just
starting there Tulsa campus back when I started in 1985
and they called and asked if I wanted to be a part of that
very first class that met here in Tulsa. And so I did that.
Laura:

And you found this a kind of conflicted experience?
were they saying about issues of social justice and
homosexuality that you had to wrestle with?

What

Leslie:

You know I don’t know if it was what they were saying as
it was what the gospel was saying. I think actually the
school was pretty mainline and kind of scared to enter into
the really tough issues. I had, for most of my life, been
involved in civil rights issues for African Americans but as I
began to read the gospel and put things together it
became clear to me that something was wrong with saying
there are some folks that don’t fit into the salvation plan or
however you want to talk about it. And the more I
challenged that in my own thinking, the more I needed to
embrace other people in the dialogue. I was the president
of the student council at Phillips and actually challenged
them to, for the first time, put gay and lesbian issues on
the agenda and actually take them to a board meeting and
tell them that Phillips might be a safe place for gay and
lesbian students. It was not at that time. And they were
pretty threatened by that first dialogue but it opened the
door and they are now a very affirming place for gay and
lesbian students. At about the same time, while I was in
seminary, I was a part-time youth pastor at Memorial
Methodist Church and I got a call one day from a friend of
mine at St. Johns hospital, she was a nurse, and she said
that there was a young man here and he is dying of AIDS
and he hasn’t had any visitors here for over a month.
Would you mind coming? I knew nothing about AIDS but I
knew someone shouldn’t die with visitors for a month. So
I went and it was a baptism by fire. When I got to him I
asked if I could come in and he said sure. He said who are
you? And I told him and then he said, “Oh you don’t even
need to bother to have to stay. I know everything you
have to say, the church has already told me I’m going to
hell.” And it just broke my heart. I just said I don’t
believe that. And he let me stay a few minutes so we
could talk and when I left I asked if I could come back the
next day and visit and he said yes. And I was there

3

�everyday for about a week until that young man died.
During that time I got to meet a couple of his friends who
came by because they had heard he was going to die. And
from there I just got connected. It was like all of a
sudden, there were a number of people who needed to
deal with their spiritual issues relating to HIV and AIDS. I
got connected with Dr. Beale and Ted Campbell and all of a
sudden I was like “the chaplain” for Dr. Beale’s office. And
then one day Ted Campbell called me and asked me to do
some work with his HIV therapy group—that they had
some spiritual issues to deal with. So I went, I was there
for about an hour, and it was actually a pretty hostile
group at first. Not too willing to talk. They had a few nice
questions to ask me, but there wasn’t a conversation. And
then right before it was time to go, one of the young men,
Jim Berry, looking at me and said, “I have a question for
you. So tell me why it is that God would create somebody
and then condemn them to hell. Tell me what kind of God
does that.” And the only response I had was a God who
needs to die. Because that was true for me, the God that
they were carrying around with them needed to die. So
they invited me back and went back to that group for
several months and worked on theological issues with
them about their own belovedness in God’s eyes.
Laura:

How did you become aware of the difficulties that GLBT
people faced at Phillips?

Leslie:

I just became aware that there were a couple of lesbian
students there that were not out and were not willing to be
out and only shared their story with me because I began
to break the silence about the issue and ask those kinds of
questions. In just becoming a safe place, several students
decided to share their stories.

Laura:

Did you, yourself, have people assume you were a lesbian?

Leslie:

Absolutely, all the time. In fact, when I first community of
Hope I intentionally took off my wedding ring because I
got scared of the straight community relying on the fact
that I was straight to make me safe in religious settings.
Because the people I was working with were not safe in
religious settings unless they pretended to be straight. So

4

�I was just unwilling for it to be that obvious that I was
straight.
Laura:

You weren’t willing to flaunt your heterosexuality?

Leslie:

Yeah… I just wasn’t willing for someone else to use it. It
just made me furious that that’s what made me safe.

Laura:

So what year did you finish seminary and how did your
career trajectory go after that?

Leslie:

I was ordained in 1989 and I was still on staff at Memorial
Drive. In 1990 a young gay couple started coming to the
church that I was ministering at. And then another couple
came and so on. At first the church was pretty receptive
to the first two: tokenism thing was okay with them. But
when it became 4 and 6 and 8 and a whole pew of young
gay men, and most of them had AIDS, the church got
more threatened. So in 1992 while I was in Central
America leading a mission trip they had these secret
meetings and when I got back they told me I needed to
leave. They were no longer comfortable with my ministry.
Well in the United Methodist Church that’s not how it
works. The church doesn’t decide when you leave, only
the bishop can decide that. So the bishop told them, “You
don’t decide when she leaves. I do. And she will stay until
June when it is the normal time for people to leave.” So
between August of 92 and June of 93, I was in this horribly
painful situation where I was serving this church where a
significant number of the people did not want me there,
yet a significant number did. The church began to split
and the pastor got threatened and he wrote letters to the
GLBT members who had already joined that they couldn’t
do things like go into the kitchen because they had AIDS
and they couldn’t teach Sunday school. You know, you’ve
been there and heard it all. And so I went to the bishop
and said, “Fine, if I’m going to move that that’s fine, that’s
the system. But put someone in Tulsa who can be a safe
place for these people. We’ve opened the door now and it
needs to be provided.” And he said, “You need to start
that congregation.” Well politically at that time the United
Methodist Church would not support my opening a normal
congregation that open and affirming. They just said no.
So he and I put our heads together and he had just been

5

�in Central America and I often went to Central America and
so we came up with the idea of creating a base
community, which is really a model out of Latin America,
primarily Catholic churches, whereby people who feel
abandoned by the hierarchy who is pretty much in bed
with the oligarchy in Central and South America. And they
formed there own communities of justice and spirituality
where they are the church and occasionally a priest may
come and offer the sacraments the church is the people
and they are doing the work of nurturing spirituality and
beginning the read the bible in different ways and to
question theology. And we thought this would make sense
for Tulsa and we just made it up. And at annual
conference in June of 1993 he commissioned me to begin a
base community here in Tulsa, whatever that might mean.
Laura:

What was this bishop’s name?

Leslie:

Dan Solomon, a very courageous man. He found 12,000
dollars for me to have a part-time salary and that’s how it
started: no place to meet, no nothing except a group of
people who were willing. I went to several different
churches and finally found one, Saint Mary United
Methodist Church on North Denver, that would allow us to
meet in the evenings in their basement. So on June 21,
1993 we had the very first gathering of community. There
had been a group of 12 or 13 that had been meeting in my
living room for two or three months trying to figure out
what we wanted this church to look like. It was half gay
and half straight and that was an important piece for us.
We wanted life to not only be diverse in that kind of way
but also in a financial way to bear witness to what was
important: so we decided that for every dollar we spent on
ourselves we would also spend a dollar beyond our walls.
And we’ve done that now for 13 years. So we had this
wonderful gathering of about 50 people in June of 1993
and gave birth to Community Hope. We met there at Saint
Mary for about two months and then one evening one of
their morning members saw one of our couples kissing in
the parking lot and just freaked and went to the pastor
and the rest of the congregation and within a few weeks
they asked us to leave. So we rented a little life insurance
building on the corner of Yale and Pine and were there for
about two and one half years. We outgrew it and then we

6

�rented a warehouse on 2nd and Utica and completely
gutted and redid the warehouse and it was a wonderful
space for us and we had a wonderful time. We were there
until early 1998. And then the city came and said we
couldn’t stay because our zoning wasn’t right for being a
church. So we began to look to look for another building.
We were, what, 5 years old and looking for our 4th
building.
Laura:

It’s a good thing you had the experience…

Leslie:

That’s right, all of my life. So then we started trying to
buy a building. We tried to buy three different church
buildings and once they found out who we were they
wouldn’t sell us the building. So finally—you know if there
is anything I regret in my ministry I think this is what it
is—we bought the building in the closet. We had one of
our members buy it and transfer it to us and that was in
1998. It was a deeply painful thing and it was fear that
drove us to it: fear that we weren’t going to have any
place to call home. But I almost wish we hadn’t because it
ended up hurting us in significant ways but I didn’t know
that until a year later when I looked back at some of the
conflict—and we’d never had conflict in our congregation—
that had started, the ways some people were acting in
dysfunctional ways. And I think it was because we had
gone back into the closet in order to buy that building.

Laura:

Let’s back up for a moment: I would assume some of this
got public attention of some sort. When was the first time
you remember gaining attention in the media for your
outreach in the GLBT community?

Leslie:

Actually the Tulsa World did a story in probably 1995 and
it was very positive about who we were and the outreach
we were doing and that was probably the first time we got
attention. We didn’t really get much other publicity until in
1999 when I was brought up on charges: and then there
was lots of it, nationally.

Laura:

When you were interacting with these leasing agents and
realtors, had you been cognizant of laws on housing
discrimination not including sexual orientation?

7

�Leslie:

I think I probably had, but since this was a church it never
entered my mind that you would turn down the whole
church! It still just blows me away.

Laura:

The reason I ask is because we probably looked at 20
different spaces when we rented and that was just 2 years
ago.

Leslie:

And how painful it is! I mean I’m a straight woman, I had
never dealt with any of this before and had no idea of how
painful it could be.

Laura:

Did you have any sort of dialogue within the church about
the dissention the decision to buy, sort of undercover, was
causing?

Leslie:

No, we never had a dialogue about it. I preached about it
and I think that in and of itself did the healing that I think
was needed. We named what was going on and that
helped to heal the wounds: to say that we really messed
up and we aren’t going to do this again.

Laura:

In relation to your having this sort of ministry, churches
don’t exist as little islands, when was the first time you
recall encountering something from a different religious
bent here in Tulsa?

Leslie:

In 1990, when I was ordained elder in the United
Methodist Church I was charged with heresy when I came
up for ordination. And the charge was that I didn’t believe
in the bodily resurrection of Christ as a literal event. But
what was behind that charge was the work I was doing
with the gay and lesbian community and how threatened
people were by that. Terry Ewing who at that time was an
associate minister at Will Rogers United Methodist Church
was the person who actually filed the charges, saying that
I shouldn’t be ordained because I didn’t honor the
covenant. That was a deeply painful thing: to stand on the
floor of the annual conference and have people debate as
too whether or not you are appropriate to ministry is
pretty difficult. But it ended up being a pretty wonderful
thing because it did two things: It made me decide
whether or not I was really willing to go through with this
and how important this was to my ministry because all I

8

�had to do was kind of back down. But I decided right then
and there that if I couldn’t do the ministry that I was called
to do then being ordained was meaningless. I think that
decision on the floor of the conference is what got me
through later challenges in my ministry that were much
more difficult and much more painful. So I ended up being
grateful for that initial little baptism by fire. The other this
it did was the conference ended up having to deal with
what it was going to mean to have diversity in its midst—
and the vote ended up like 590 to 17 or something like
that. But what it meant later on that night when I was
actually ordained with the public there, at Boston Avenue
Methodist and the place was filled, and the bishop always
says, when he ordains a person, if there are any family or
people from this persons church here please stand, when
he put his hand on me almost the entire room stood. And
they didn’t know me or care about me personally but it
was their way of saying we are not going to be a church
who says no to diversity. It was a powerful moment.
Laura:

Was this coexistent or did it precede debates on GLBT
clergy in the church?

Leslie:

Oh it was right in the middle of it. The Methodist Church
has been debating that for years and years and years.

Laura:

This obviously was going in a different direction.

Leslie:

Yes, this wasn’t about gay clergy but about what
restrictions we place on who we minister to.

Laura:

How about form non-Methodist clergy in Tulsa?

Leslie:

Well that’s just how it’s always been in Tulsa. I walk into a
room and the room kind of divides by where they are on
this issue and other kinds of liberal issues. There are a lot
of times I become sort of a metaphor for liberal religion in
many settings and I’ve just gotten used to that.

Laura:

Now who would you construe as having been allies in this?
Were there others making similar sorts of overtures to the
GLBT community as you were? Or were you the trend
setter?

9

�Leslie:

I think in 1993 there were not. Community Hope was the
first open and affirming, the first other than MCC to be
open and affirming. There were certainly clergy friends
that I had who were sympathetic but they were not out
there pushing the envelope.

Laura:

After 1998, what happened?

Leslie:

In 1996 the United Methodist Church passed a law saying
that Methodist clergy cannot do same-sex blessings and
they cannot happen in United Methodist churches. We had
been doing them all along. We would publish them in our
newsletter and there was no secrecy. When the law
passed, we had a meeting here and said okay were not
going to quit. Then we started asking ourselves, what is
our theology of weddings, how do we justify what we do?
So we put together a group that began writing a document
and researching our theology on weddings and in 1997 we
had a church wide meeting and adopted this theology and
that we are going to do these weddings. At about that
same time the bishop who had started this congregation
left and we got a new bishop: Bruce Blake. He said stop.
There’s no negotiating this, stop. We said we can’t do
that: we can’t stop doing our ministry. So we continued
and we began doing this game playing with the bishop and
the conference. They’d say okay send us a video of what
you are doing. So we’d send them a video of holy union
and they would say, okay you can keep doing them but
you can’t wear your stall and you can’t bless the rings and
you cant say those magic words I announce you as wife
and wife or whatever. So we tried playing that game for
awhile because we really wanted to dance—if they were
going to move a little and let us do them then we could
move a little as well. So I blessed the rings before the
ceremony and not during it and it just became clearer and
clearer that it had no integrity. We went back to the
cabinet and said we just can’t do this. It’s like people
being asked to cut off one of their own arms. Don’t kill
yourself just cut off a piece of yourself—and we just
couldn’t do that. So then, the strangest thing, in 1998
there was a holy union in California that a whole bunch or
clergy did collectively instead of as individual clergy and
they asked clergy across the nation to join. They asked
clergy to sign on as clergy in abstentia: officiates in

10

�abstentia. So I singed on. Well there was a lay person in
Eufaula who decided that was unacceptable to him and so
he filed charges against me for doing a holy union in
abstentia in January. And then channel 11was doing a
report on those charges and they got in touch with some
people I had performed a holy union for and got a hold of
their video tape and put it on the news… And so the
bishop filed charges and it just got to be this ridiculous
mess. And so finally he just said there are charges filed
and you can stop doing this, or go to trial, or leave the
denomination. Well it didn’t make any sense to go to trial:
I’m guilty. Why do we want to spend time and money to
go through that. So I began to work with the United
Church of Christ and the charges came on February 4,
1999 and I transferred my quarters on March 4th 1999.
Laura:

And how did all of this effect the congregation?

Leslie:

We lost a huge number of people. We were averaging 90
in worship and then there was a gradual slide. It dwindled
down to about 35. One more time the church has said
you’re welcome but then resent that. I had been in the
Methodist church for 15 years as a clergy and there were a
lot of relationships there.

Laura:

How did you make the overture to the United Church of
Christ and how did the change affect the church?

Leslie:

It was really interesting. The story I told you about going
to Central America and the young man that was gay, well
he wrote to me and said he had joined the United Church
of Christ and that is where you belong. So I went to talk
to Russ Finnick which is the only other UCC church in town
and he said of course you belong here. He drove me over
to Kingfisher to talk with the committee and he nurtured
me through the process and was my mentor.

Laura:

You’ve experienced a lot more first hand homophobia than
a lot of gay people I know! So what sort of outreach and
programming was the church doing?

Leslie:

Well in that first year we started we started the mission to
feed the homeless which we still do every month. Our first
worship was in June, we stared to feed the homeless in

11

�July, we started the GED program in the jails in July, we
took a mission trip to Nicaragua in August and those things
all continue. And our HIV ministry is such a part of who
we are. Today we are probably 25% HIV infected. We’ve
lost of about 60 of our members along the way.
Laura:

You’ve mentioned Jeff Beale, when was the first time you
really encountered the AIDS epidemic? Was it before your
ministry?

Leslie:

I’m sure I’d heard about it but it wasn’t a part of my daily
life: and I don’t think I knew anything about it or the
bigotry around it.

Laura:

What were some of the things you remember about how
the community was reacting?

Leslie:

Just there was incredible fear. No one knew how you got it
and people were afraid to touch anything that someone
with HIV had touched. Families didn’t know how to react.
It was such a big part of my ministry to go in and held
hands and hugged and talked with these guys and having
family members understand that it was okay. It was so
hard to find nursing homes to find people, home health
care was almost impossible, even funeral homes… Lots of
the funerals would be done at Community of Hope because
there was no where else to go.

Laura:

So you change denominations and go through this searing
experience. Did you get national attention and how would
you describe that experience?

Leslie:

Oh a flash in the pan. Jimmy Creach was another
Methodist brought up on charges and it was in a couple
national papers and theological journals. It was so
insignificant compared to what was happening here that I
didn’t really pay attention to it.

Laura:

Talk a little more about the local fires.

Leslie:

They were willing to reprint whatever people said and that
got pretty nasty. I remember one of the news channels
came to do a report here and we were clearing the church
and I said what in the world are we going to do with 80

12

�United Methodist hymnals and that’s the piece they chose
to put on the air! And I got lots of messages: how can you
call yourself a minister and say that you know the bible?
People put hours of work into trying to convince me that
I’m wrong. But we also got an equal amount of mail that
was supportive. I got one card that said, “I will hold my
head a little higher because of you. Thank You.” That’s
pretty amazing.
Laura:

Tell me about how the church has changed since all of this
happened. Any particularly notable events or members
over the years?

Leslie:

Well one thing I want to say is Phillips seminary, we have
several professors and students that are a part of our
congregation and that has been such a supportive and
wonderful institution for us. Dr. Brandon Scott has written
a book called “Re-imagine our World” and the last chapter
is about Community of Hope and in particular his
relationship with one young gay man who died of AIDS.
And I’m really grateful that a straight white male in a
powerful position is willing and able to look and say that I
was really changed by this young man that people say
doesn’t count and doesn’t matter. It’s been so wonderful
to spend the last five years of my life to pour my energy
into creating ministry and not fighting: those first 7 or 8
years were spend fighting the institution or at least
defending ourselves from it and now we are dancing with it
and it is so wonderful to be able to use your energy for
creative things and not fighting institutions.

Laura:

How has all of this affected your husband and children?

Leslie:

It affected my children profoundly: they don’t go to church
and have never been able to find one that they feel doesn’t
have hypocrisy. And they are never going to find one like
that: we are human, political animals and hypocrisy is
going to be a part of our lives. But they just have no
tolerance for it and are having a hard time figuring out
what religious life means to them. My husband is just a
rock. He was probably more wounded by the stuff with the
United Methodist Church because he couldn’t do anything
about it: all he could do was sit there and watch them hurt
me and he has enough white male in him (ex marine) that

13

�he wants to be the knight in shining armor. And he is still
angry. And that whole add about Open Doors, Open
Hearts, Open Minds, well he just blows up every time. You
know, I’m not angry anymore: we’re free of that now. I
had some wonderful years and they gave me a great
congregation. But it’s been hard for him.
Laura:

There’s been a vocal and organized GLBT community for
quite awhile in Tulsa, but that hasn’t translated to big
political names despite the city’s size. Why do you suspect
that is the case?

Leslie:

First of all I’ve seen lots of incredible changes. In 1993
when Community of Hope opened there was nothing for
the gay community besides bars. Even like the pride star
was inside a bar! It was inside the bar. The group at
TOHR didn’t have a home: there were just bars. I’m really
grateful that it has become so much more mainstream in
Tulsa. As for why, I think it’s the same reason Tulsa
hasn’t progressed more with issues of racism and poverty.
I think middle class privilege affects us in ways that keep
us from really dealing with issues in the long term way
that we need to: we enter into the struggle for a little
while, but if change doesn’t happen quickly, we have other
things to do—we have busy lives and enough privilege that
we move on.

Laura:

How has the gay community and the community at large
supported you over the years? Can you give me some
examples of that?

Leslie:

Well Nancy McDonald has always been very supportive,
financially and in all other ways. People like Marcus Rice,
who works at Williams, and people who work in those
corporate settings, like Dennis Neill, who are just there to
be supportive and let you know that they are behind you.

Laura:

Is there anything else you’d like to add? If not, I
appreciate your time.

Leslie:

Well I appreciate yours. And I appreciate the gift of the
journey.

Transcribed by Matthew Warren

14

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                    <text>Oral History Interview
with
Anna Dodwell
Interview Conducted by
Laura Belmonte
August 1, 2004

OKEQ Oral History Project

Oklahoma Oral History Research Program
Edmon Low Library ● Oklahoma State University
©2004

�OKEQ Oral History Project
Interview History
Interviewer: Laura Belmonte
Transcriber: Allison Richmond
Editors: Anika Benthem
The recording and transcript of this interview were processed at the Oklahoma State University
Library in Stillwater, Oklahoma.

Project Detail
The OKEQ Oral History Project is a series of interviews documenting the rich contributions of
LGBTQ community members in the state of Oklahoma, with a particular emphasis on Tulsa and
the surrounding area. These interviews were conducted by members of Oklahomans for Equality,
formerly Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights.

Legal Status
Scholarly use of the recordings and transcripts of the interview with Anna Dodwell is
unrestricted. The interview agreement was signed on August 1, 2004.

2

�OKEQ Oral History Project
Anna Dodwell
Oral History Interview
Interviewed by Laura Belmonte
August 1, 2004
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Belmonte

It is Sunday, August 1, 2004, and I’m Laura Belmonte. We are interviewing
Anna Dodwell today at my home. Anna, we begin with some really basic
stuff. Just tell us your full name and where and when you were born.

Dodwell

Okay. Anna Dodwell, I was born here in Tulsa, Oklahoma, September 7,
1963.

Belmonte

Have you lived here your whole life?

Dodwell

Yes.

Belmonte

Okay. Tell us a little bit about your childhood and your family background.

Dodwell

Well, I went to Eisenhower Elementary School and grew up with lots of kids
in my neighborhood. We played, and they teased me, and I teased them, and
it was just kind of a fairly normal childhood. My father was a plumber, and
my mother was the manager of a restaurant for many, many years. I went to
Edison Junior High and High School. Went to school with one star, Jeanne
Tripplehorn; she’s been in a few movies. Went to—I’ve known her since
elementary school. Just had a lot of childhood—close childhood friends.
Nothing really significant. I was in Camp Fire for twenty-six years, so it was
very special to me.

Belmonte

Any brothers and sisters?

Dodwell

I have an older brother and I have—actually three older brothers who are all
half-brothers, and then I have a sister, and that’s it.

Belmonte

That sounds like enough.

Dodwell

Yeah.

Belmonte

How have you classified your sexual identity for most of your adult life?

3

�Dodwell

To begin with, when I was in high school or even junior high, I knew there
was something different, and I didn’t know what it was. I knew that
whatever it was, it was strange. I shouldn’t have to like girls. Why should
I—why am I liking this? I tried to go with society and decided that I knew
that I was a lesbian, but there really wasn’t a name for it. There was no
support, zero support, for any teenager, or any adults for that matter, as far
as coming out or anything like that. We just kind of tried to do what society
says to do. I had a son, and I tried to say, “Well, this is it. This is where I’m
supposed to be,” but I was miserable.

Belmonte

How long have you been out to yourself?

Dodwell

To myself, I’ve been out probably since I was nineteen or twenty.

Belmonte

When did you have your first same-sex sexual experience?

Dodwell

When I was about nineteen, I think, nineteen or twenty, yeah.

Belmonte

How did you find this woman? Did you meet through a mutual friend?

Dodwell

In a bar.

Belmonte

Do you remember what bar?

Dodwell

Seeker’s Choice.

Belmonte

Where was that? Do you remember anything about it?

Dodwell

I don’t remember…

Belmonte

Terry remembers. (Laughter)

Dodwell

It was on Admiral, yes. I don’t remember exactly where, but yeah, I picked
someone up—well, I guess she picked me up. It was in a little, tiny strip
mall.

Belmonte

Was it predominantly a women’s bar?

Dodwell

I think so, yeah. That’s all I ever saw in there, really, was women. It was—I
do know it was owned by a transgendered man.

Belmonte

Oh really? Is he still alive? Still live in Tulsa?

Dodwell

I don’t know.

4

�Belmonte

Did you go to this bar again?

Dodwell

I went occasionally, but the woman was really scary, and I didn’t want to
see her anymore. (Laughter)

Belmonte

We’ve never heard that story. (Laughter)

Dodwell

She had whips hanging from her wall, and I really didn’t like that.

Terry

Scared you to death. (Laughs)

Belmonte

I could see why. Living in Tulsa your whole life, when do you recall having
met a gay person for the first time?

Dodwell

I knew that my nephew was coming out, and he would talk about how gay
he was when Rocky Horror was really big. We’d go to Rocky Horror all the
time. He was kind of the first gay person that I really was around. He used to
correct his lisping in front of the mirror and all that kind of stuff. Other than
that, he just—he was about the only person that I can think of; everybody
else I knew was straight.

Belmonte

You heard of Seeker’s Choice how? Do you recall when you first began to
hear about places where gay people went in Tulsa? What were some of
those places other than Seeker’s Choice?

Dodwell

I believe I called the helpline. I think I called the helpline to find that out. I
either did that or I looked in the phonebook, but I think it was the helpline. I
can’t recall exactly how that came about, but I know they gave me two or
three different choices of bars that I could go to. Gosh, that was ’83.

Belmonte

That would have narrowly ended the helplines if—

Dodwell

Yeah. (Laughs) That’s kind of when I got involved with the community.

Belmonte

Well, what were some of the other places that you met gay men and women
after going to Seeker’s Choice?

Dodwell

The only places that I knew were bars, really. Zipper’s, I grew up in
Zipper’s.

Belmonte

Tell me what Zipper’s was like for women. I’ve heard a lot of men talk about
Zipper’s.

Dodwell

It was okay. I mean, there were several women there. They did have a few
drag king shows there. It was kind of far and few between, but it did happen.
There were so many young people and so many underage people there, but

5

�for women, there was like a—if I remember right, it was an area that was—
you’d walk into the bar, you’d go up these steps and to the left; it was like
almost all women. Anywhere else in the bar they were just scattered here
and there; they weren’t grouped in certain areas, but one area I always knew
that they were.
Belmonte

Where else besides Zipper’s?

Dodwell

TNT’s.

Belmonte

Do you remember what TNT’s was like at the time?

Dodwell

I think it was a little rougher than—well, of course—than it is now.

Belmonte

It’s straight now.

Dodwell

I know. I think they’re trying to keep it gay, but it’s not happening. Oh,
Tracy’s. Yes, I went to Tracy’s too. I don’t remember where that one was—
off of Utica. I didn’t go to Tracy’s very often. Have you ever been to
Tracy’s?

Belmonte

This is the first time I’m hearing about Tracy’s. Tracy’s and Seeker’s
Choice.

Dodwell

Tracy’s was a nicer bar—well, much nicer than Seeker’s Choice, I think it
was.

Belmonte

You said Seeker’s Choice was off Admiral.

Dodwell

Yes. Went there, not a whole lot, but went there now and then. Then I
started going to Zipper’s a lot, went to Zipper’s all the time whenever it was
in its glory.

Belmonte

Over at 31st and Yale.

Dodwell

Yes. Oh yeah. I remember all the car bashings and the people that would be
standing outside when the bar would close, and they would have baseball
bats in their hands and, you know.

Belmonte

Tell me more about that. I’ve heard that policemen would take down names
of license plates, but I hadn’t heard what you’re enumerating here.

Dodwell

Yeah, because there’s a lot of apartments that are around there, and there’s
probably four or five different apartments. If you would leave the bar—
mostly for the guys, you know, they would leave. They would just stand
there; it was like an intimidation thing. Either they had already bashed their

6

�car, or they were just wanted to stand there just to make sure that they were
afraid, I guess. It was frightening. They would yell at you from the balconies
and tell you—call you names and things like that. There, for a while,
Zipper’s started losing some business because people were afraid to go.
Belmonte

Do you recall any instances where people and not just property were
harmed?

Dodwell

I know that there were some fist fights and things like this, like some of the
queens would come out and be drunk, and they would say something, and
they would just start just fist fighting. That’s the only thing I saw myself. I
know the police were called a lot. Of course, police came inside the bar all
the time. They would just look at you, and they would harass you, they’d
ask for your license. It was a really big deal. They did harass a lot.

Belmonte

Now, in your circle of friends, what did you and your lesbian and gay
friends do outside of bars?

Dodwell

Went to each other’s houses, had parties. We didn’t really do a whole lot as,
actually, as a group. We’d go out to eat sometimes, and sometimes we’d go
to a movie or something, but no real planned activities. Of course, I was
young. My gosh, I was a baby, so it was party all the time. That’s all I
wanted to do.

Belmonte

You made a comparison of Tracy’s and Seeker’s Choice and said that
Tracy’s was nicer. Tell me more about this bar—this is the first time I’ve
heard about Tracy’s.

Dodwell

The clientele I think was a little nicer as far as—it wasn’t as rough of a
crowd; at least I don’t think it was.

Belmonte

Mainly women?

Dodwell

Yes. Well, actually, there were half and half at Tracy’s. At Seeker’s Choice,
it was a lot of women. A lot of—well, I remember older women without
teeth, but (Laughter) I don’t know if that’s something to write about.
(Laughter)

Belmonte

Oh yeah.

Terry

They had split clientele. [Inaudible] Older women, it’s like there’s this real
age gap. [Inaudible]

Belmonte

It’s my impression, and you can correct me if you think this is wrong, that a
pretty hardcore butch femme culture in the bars in Tulsa persisted pretty
long past when it did in other places. In many cities, Buffalo, New York, for

7

�instance, this began to disappear by the late ’60s. It sounds to me like that
culture was still in place in Tulsa pretty late into the ’80s.
Dodwell

Definitely. I know some people who are still stuck in that, so it’s—
Oklahoma is really backwards with that. They’re catching up to the things in
different cities with things like that.

Belmonte

Did you witness a lot of violence in these bars? Fights?

Dodwell

A few, yeah. A lot of jealous butch girlfriends, that somebody would look at
their girl, and they’d go after them and try to be the man of the house and do
whatever they needed to do to take care of that. I saw a few fights, mostly
alcohol-induced.

Belmonte

How did this physically manifest itself? Were there very rigid codes of what
you would wear or not wear or how you would act, or was it more of a kind
of attitude sort of thing?

Dodwell

Yes, there was. I was told when I was first starting to go out—it jarred my
memory; this is great—that if you had any amount of sized breasts, you
know, like mine, if you had them, you were not a lesbian. (Laughs) I was
told that many times.

Belmonte

By whom?

Dodwell

By butch women, the older butch women, mostly, saying that’s just not
right. “You just can’t just have big boobs and be okay and be with us.
You’re not one of us.” I’ve heard that many times. Things like if—I
remember I used to have this smock thing or whatever, and it had some pink
in it. I don’t classify myself as butch or femme; I can do either one, and I’ve
always been like that. That was not—that was an issue with some people.
“Pick one, what are you going to be? Butch or femme?” I can’t be butch
because I have boobs. Okay, maybe I can be femme, but I have to wear a
dress, and I don’t like dresses. I would wear this smock thing, and they
would tell me that if you’re trying to be butch, it’s not going to work
because you have a pink flower on this. It’s not going to work.

Belmonte

How did you find a middle ground here? It must have been personally quite
challenging, really not feeling like you fit into either category here.

Dodwell

I always thought labels were silly and stupid, so I don’t know. I’ve always
just been myself and said, “Okay, this is what you get, and if you don’t like
it, then you can go away.” A lot of people went away, especially back then.
If you didn’t do a lot of partying and a lot of drugs, and if you didn’t fit into
this particular group of gay culture, or if you weren’t the butch or the
femme, where did you go? A lot of times I didn’t go. I also went to Crash

8

�Landing, which I loved Crash Landing. It was on 5th and Lewis, and it had a
real airplane inside.
Belmonte

It’s amazing you guys didn’t meet each other sooner. (Laughter)

Terry

We have friends in all of the same circles, and we knew a lot of the same
people, which is really ironic that we had never met.

Belmonte

Small world.

Dodwell

The Crash Landing was a combination bar. Have you heard of that one?

Belmonte

No.

Dodwell

Oh my gosh. Okay. Well, they had every—I don’t know if it was every
month or every other week, but it was like a women’s dance they would
have. The person you get lots of history from for that, all the bar stuff, is Ms.
Carol Brown. I think maybe Renee, hopefully you know Renee. She would
be a wealth of information for you.

Belmonte

Great. At the end of the taping, I would love it if you guys give me some
names of people you think might be potential interviewees. That would be
great.

Dodwell

You got it. Crash Landing did have a lot of—it was a neat bar; it was a
really big place. It was high energy dance stuff, whatever it was back then.

Terry

It was three stories.

Belmonte

Quite substantial.

Dodwell

Isn’t it a church now? I know they tore it down, maybe it was a parking lot
of a church.

Terry

There was a bar on every level, and it was just a really cool place. They had
the most irritating final song I have heard in my whole life. Do you
remember it? It can get people out of the bars. They put [inaudible]
constantly. It said, “Bye bye, see you later. Bye bye, see you later. Bye bye,
see later.” It would drive you out of the bar.

Belmonte

I suppose that was its intent. (Laughter)

Terry

Yeah, probably.

Belmonte

Was Crash Landing a mixed bar too?

9

�Dodwell

I think so. Yeah, mostly. Except when they had the women’s dances.

Belmonte

What were these women’s dances like?

Dodwell

Popular.

Belmonte

Can you estimate how many people would go?

Dodwell

I don’t know. I would say fifty maybe. It was a lot for back then, and it
was—there were just quite a few.

Belmonte

When would this have been?

Dodwell

This would have been ’82 to ’86, probably. Two, three year period there, but
it was a very popular bar.

Belmonte

What were the atmosphere of these dances like?

Dodwell

Pretty—I think they were pretty light, and real fun. People didn’t seem like
they had the barriers like a lot of people in our community have today. It’s
like they were maybe more trusting, or maybe more accepting, or something
like that that was—it was okay to go into this place by yourself, and people
would talk to you, you know, things like that. Now it’s a little different.
There’s—

Belmonte

A different spin on it. Now, in conjunction with this butch femme roles, do
you recall that there were sexual expectations that went with that too? Like
if you were butch, there were certain things that you did and didn’t do and
vice versa?

Dodwell

I think so. Yeah. The butch was the more aggressor sexually, even
romantically. The femme was more the little wifey kind of thing, just kind
of went along with everything that the butch wanted to do. That’s what I
saw. I don’t know if it’s the same now or not.

Belmonte

Let’s say you wanted to go on a nice date that wasn’t at a bar. Were there
any restaurants or places in town that were known as gay-friendly?

Dodwell

Absolutely not, no. Just your own home.

Belmonte

In your circle of friends, let’s talk about some of their experiences you might
remember. Do you remember—well, let’s start with your own family. When
did you come out to your own family, and how did they respond?

Dodwell

My father died before I could come out, but my mother—I came out after I
had my son to her, and I had my son at nineteen. I came out to her after that,

10

�and it was really difficult for her at first, especially. She was very angry.
Then it got better. She hated my first girlfriend with a passion. She just
started getting better with everything. She just started understanding a little
more, and then my nephew came out to her. My nephew was a drag queen,
and he was very flamboyant. I think he lives in Dallas now, but she would
help him get ready for drag shows, and she started wanting to do things. If
PFLAG [Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays] would have been
available or there back then, my mother would have been right in the
trenches with that. I know she would have. She slowly learned that we’re
people, too, and it’s okay that I love somebody of the same sex, but it’s not
about sex. My mom would—even before my mother died at a nursing home,
and we were talking to the whole staff about things, my mom would say, “If
you have a problem with lesbians, you need to tell me now because my
daughter is one.” She’d out me all the time, but I took her to see Boy
George; I took her to see The Village People. She went to one gay pride
picnic. I think—so she was okay with it later on.
Belmonte

Sounds like she was more than okay with it. Do you recall other parents
being at that picnic or was she the only one?

Dodwell

She was pretty—I think she was pretty much the only one. That’s when it
was at Mohawk Park. Oh my gosh, she just loved it. She used to love the
gay boys, oh my gosh. She came a long way from when I first told her. She
always was afraid for me being beat up and things like this; she didn’t want
that to ever happen. The rest of my family—my brother, my oldest brother,
doesn’t—he has an issue with gay people, mainly because of my nephew.
My nephew is just, “I’m in your face. I’m gay. Deal with it.” He’d been out
for years, and it just kind of turned him off, so I can’t really blame him for
that, I guess. The rest of my siblings—they know that my sister has a
problem with it kind of, so it’s—I don’t have anybody really with open arms
in my family. Of course, on my dad’s side, they’re all from Arkansas, so I
mean, they don’t even want to talk to me. You know, that’s their loss.

Belmonte

What about your son?

Dodwell

My son is okay with it now.

Belmonte

Well, I mean, you must have had to come out to him pretty early in his life, I
would guess.

Dodwell

Yeah, I did. Actually, it was more like fourteen when we talked about it. He
was okay with that, too. He just wants me to be—he said, “I just want you to
be loved, and I want you to be cared for and not be hurt.” That’s kind of
what he looks at. He doesn’t really talk about it a whole lot; he’s a very
funny kid. He’ll—he used to—oh my gosh, he used to borrow my car or my
ex’s car, and he’d get in it, and he’d come back, and all the stickers would

11

�be taken off of the car. (Laughter) He’s like, “I don’t want to ride in your
car; people are going to think I’m gay.” (Laughs) It’s like, “Fine, then meet
me there.” He’s twenty-one now, so he’s a grown man. He’s doing his thing.
I recently went through a divorce, a break-up, and he dealt with that okay,
and you know, he’s still working on that, but he’s just—I think he accepts
me. He just wants to make sure I’m safe. I’m okay. I’m happy.
Belmonte

You mentioned that you work for Sears. How long have you been with
Sears?

Dodwell

I have been with Sears since January. They have the GALS program there;
it’s the Gays and Lesbians of Sears. They also have the domestic partnership
benefits. They’ve got diversity days. [Inaudible] (Laughs)

Belmonte

She’s not in the frame here. You have to wonder who she is.

Dodwell

Yeah, we have diversity days, and that’s toward the end of this month,
where I guess we come up with activities or things to celebrate [inaudible].

Belmonte

Now, have you encountered discrimination on any of your other jobs? Have
you ever encountered harassment yourself in coming out of a bar? Tell me
about some of that.

Dodwell

Coming out of a bar, no, I haven’t really. I’ve just witnessed other people
having problems. I did at Woodland Hills Mall one time, when—let’s see, it
was probably ’84—when I was with this other girl that—we were walking in
the mall, and all of the sudden, all of these kids from, I guess, Broken Arrow
or Bixby High School, whatever, they followed us out and started shoving
us around and everything, calling us, you know, “you dyke,” and “you this,”
and “you that.” That’s about the only negative thing, really. I mean, I’ve had
people scream at me and say things, but not real bad. Of course, it’s gotten a
lot better over the years, but I can’t think of anything else other than what
happened at Woodland Hills; that was kind of scary.

Belmonte

Let’s talk about your jobs.

Dodwell

My jobs. I worked at the Tulsa Police Department; that was a real fun thing.
I was an animal control officer in a man’s world, so I had to prove myself. I
got lots of comments about being gay. “Where’s the lesbian in the house?”
There would be a lot of comments. Through the police department, you had
no protection, not back then you didn’t. Maybe they do now, I don’t know. I
kind of doubt it. There were just—mostly the comments, they would—there
was one time in my mailbox, they had shoved a tie in there, a man’s tie, and
boxers, and things like that. That’s when I first started working there.

Belmonte

When was that?

12

�Dodwell

From—let’s see, I quit in ’89, so I worked there four or five years. It was
during that time, ’83. That was probably the worst of it. A lot of times I
would get harassed by my boss, actually, at a part-time job that I had at a
supermarket. He found out that I was a lesbian, and he was just all for
finding somebody else to help him out. “Come on, let’s go and have a big
ole three-way party.” Oh my god, I hate that place. Oh, god. That was awful.
No, no, no. I don’t [inaudible] you. Okay? It just doesn’t happen.

Belmonte

Being a lesbian is not a package deal, sorry.

Dodwell

No, it’s not. (Laughter)

Belmonte

In your circle of friends, I’ve been told, for instance, that there was a man in
the community who was pretty well-known in the bars who was murdered in
Mohawk Park, and the crime went unsolved. Do you recall hearing anything
about that case or anything else along that nature?

Dodwell

I had heard about it, and I—but I don’t know any of the details. I just knew
that it happened, but I really don’t know anything.

Belmonte

Tell me about what some of your gay male friends had to say about their
lives in this period. Where, for instance, did they go if they were looking for
a sexual encounter? What were some of the bars that were—

Dodwell

Tim’s Playroom was big. A lot of their experiences as far as—just in the
general Tulsa area, I guess—violence, a lot of violence, what I’ve heard. A
lot of loneliness because really the only place to go to meet other people
were at the bars at the time. If you didn’t drink, or you didn’t like to go to
the bars, then you were out of luck for the most part. I know that they went
to Turkey Mountain quite a bit. I don’t know if they went back in the ’80s,
but I can’t recall [inaudible]. That was just for just like sex, nothing more
than that. There might have been a few little groups that popped up here and
there. There was a men’s supper club that went on forever.

Belmonte

Do you remember any of the men who were a part of that group?

Dodwell

Dennis Neill, I believe, knew about it or was a part of it.

Belmonte

I’ll have to ask him about that.

Dodwell

Yeah, see if he knows something.

Belmonte

What about “the fruit loop” in downtown? Did they ever talk about that?

13

�Dodwell

I’ve heard of the fruit loop. I don’t know that very well. I don’t know of
that. That might have been maybe before my time. I don’t know.

Belmonte

It sounds like that went pretty far back.

Dodwell

Yeah, it did, but I have heard about it.

Belmonte

You mentioned the gay picnic. Did you go to any of the meetings of TOHR
when it was first founded?

Dodwell

Oh yeah.

Belmonte

Tell me about what made you do that, and what those meetings were like,
and whether you found that a positive experience?

Dodwell

Yeah, I started with TOHR, I want to say ’84, ’85. It was founded in ’83,
right?

Belmonte

Right.

Dodwell

It was already going by then. Mostly men. I think my first meeting I ever
went to—that’s when I first met Dennis Neill—was that I was the only
woman there. For the most part, I felt accepted, but it was definitely lacking
females. (Laughs) They just weren’t there. Either they didn’t know about it
or what, or maybe they didn’t feel welcome.

Belmonte

Were they still meeting in the library at this point?

Dodwell

Yes. They were meeting at the library. I had talked to Dennis about, “Gosh,
we can do this or do that,” or “Gosh, we…” He’s like, “Well, come on
aboard!” so I started getting involved with that about a year later.

Belmonte

What were some of the things you did?

Dodwell

I was the helpline coordinator, and that’s when we moved and got the office
space at 41st and Harvard. I did that for four years, three or four years.

Belmonte

Describe that experience. What were the calls like, what kind of training
went into—

Dodwell

Oh my gosh, there was a lot of training that was involved. There was tons of
volunteers. There were people knocking at the door to volunteer.

Belmonte

What types of professions were people in?

14

�Dodwell

Doctors, lawyers, laymen, I mean, just anything. All kinds of people. We
had chefs, and we had counselors; we had unemployed. We had lots of
different walks of life, and that’s what’s needed for that kind of thing. We
had people who had never done a helpline or anything like that, and so when
they would come aboard, they would be terrified. What happens if they get a
phone call and somebody is wanting to commit suicide or wanting to do
this—and which we had those calls, and we had to talk people either out of
it or try to get help to them as soon as possible. It was a lot of trading
involved. The phones rang off the hook. It was constantly busy, especially in
the evening because people in the community found out that we started
having the helpline from eight to ten every night. Oh my gosh, it was just
incredible.

Belmonte

What were some of the more memorable calls you had?

Dodwell

I had a phone call from a man—actually a straight man who felt that he was
a woman. Back then, transgenderism was just not really talked about a
whole lot; there was not a lot of education on it. We had books and
brochures but not a whole lot of experience with it. He was—I was on the
phone with this man for over an hour. He was—didn’t know where to go,
how he was going to fit in, and trying to find the resources to help this
person was almost impossible. The nearest resource I had was Dallas. While
I had him on the phone, I start looking at different resources that we had
from different states that surrounded us, and the nearest one I had was
Dallas. I remember this guy because he called back, and about two weeks
later, he called these other people and said he was better, and he felt much
better about the situation, and he was happy and that he might be on the road
to recovery for whatever reason. We’d get the calls that—you know, from
the kids, they would—that’s normal. A lot of the volunteers would get upset
over it. It’s like, they’re just curious. I mean, yeah, if they’re calling you and
saying they’re going to kill you, yeah, that’s a different story, but they’re
not.

Belmonte

They would call just to prank call.

Dodwell

Right. There was a woman who called when I was training somebody, and
she was being—she was locked in her bedroom, and she was being beat by
her lover. You could hear in the background the sounds of her being hit and
the screaming. It was probably the most disturbing phone call that I had ever
gotten. The poor guy, it was his first day that he had started working there,
just trying to calm her down, but it wasn’t going to make her situation any
better unless she was going to get out of there. I was able to get her to get to
the phone and pick up the—she threw it on the bed, I guess, and she got the
phone, and I got her address. I was able to call the police. That’s probably
the worst. There were a whole lot more needy calls if you want to say it
because back then is when AIDS was really coming out, and really, people

15

�were being, “What’s this gay disease?” It was a really big deal. Had a lot of
phone calls about health issues, and it’s really hard. They’d have to call the
Center for Disease Control for the most part because we didn’t have all of
that information that they needed. Everybody knew that it was a gay disease,
so we also dealt with that, all the different HIV and AIDS calls. Some of
them were just—people were just bored, or they’re lonely. I know that there
are still people out there like that who need a helpline, and I hope that we do
it again. That was a very good experience for me.
Belmonte

We’re actually talking about reactivating it, trying to keep it going through
the day, actually.

Dodwell

Good, it’s very much needed. Oh, god.

Belmonte

People call all the time,

Dodwell

Yes, they do.

Belmonte

Those pained coming out calls in particular.

Dodwell

Yeah, the coming out ones. Oh yeah. Oh gosh, yeah.

Belmonte

You’ve alluded several times to drug and alcohol use in the community.
What are your impressions of the role that it’s played in gay life in Tulsa?
Do you think the situation is similar now, or has it changed over time?

Dodwell

Well, even back then, I think the drug use—I don’t really think it was any
different than in the straight community. We might have used a little more
poppers, but I don’t think there was that much of a difference. As far as the
role that it played, I know that, especially when HIV came up so strong and
they finally realized what it was, there were so many people who continued
to want to use drugs and knew that it could lower your immune system, or it
could do some damage to your system for whatever reason. I think as far
as—there’s a lot of people in the straight community who think that we’re
all about drugs and sex, and maybe they need to look in their own backyard.

Belmonte

Right. Let’s backtrack a little bit and talk about your nephew. It sounds like
he was quite flamboyant. It sounds like you might have had some familiarity
with the drag community in Tulsa, which is not something I’ve heard much
about.

Dodwell

Really?

Belmonte

Could you tell me—well, I have some interviews scheduled, people that are
definitely going to fill that gap, but it sounds like you have been seeing drag

16

�shows and knowing the people that perform drag for quite a long time. Care
to elaborate on that?
Dodwell

Sure. I came out during the times when Trudy Tyler used to be real big, real
big. Patty and Tuna Melt were real big. Have you heard of them? And Miko,
yes. Miko.

Belmonte

Nico with an N?

Dodwell

With an M.

Belmonte

Miko. Okay.

Dodwell

Yeah, I’m real close to the drag community even today. I think they’re an
important part of our community. Sure, they’re dramatic; they’re supposed
to be. (Laughs) Early on, the drag community was very small. Now it’s very
big in Tulsa. It’s even bigger in different states, but it’s much bigger now
than I ever imagined it to be. I just think that they played a really important
part in our community and the way that—I don’t know if the mainstream
society will ever see them as being okay, but that’s their problem.

Belmonte

Tell me some about what you think that role is and has been historically?
When was the first time you went to a drag club?

Dodwell

Oh gosh, it was Zipper’s, and it was the early ’80s, ’83 or ’84, something
like that. I just fell in love with them. I just did, and I don’t know why.
(Laughs) I still don’t know why. (Laughs) I thought they had attitude, and
most of them had talent; most of them did. As far as their role in historic—
maybe just from their sheer talent and guts and strength, they’re very strong,
strong people. Maybe when they just have a wig on, but at least they’re
strong then. Maybe if they take the wig off, it’s not so much, but at least
they get the point across. I’ve been to drag queen car washes that used to be
on Peoria quite a bit, and they would be in full drag in the heat. Can you
imagine? Heat and heels: no, no, no. (Laughs) They donated all their money
to whatever, and most of the time, most of the drag shows—unless it’s a
competition or a pageant or something—they donate their money to causes
in the community. They pick certain ones to do that with. There’s always
some kind of a drag queen war going on in between each other, but they all
do the same thing.

Belmonte

What were some of the other bars that became known for drag?

Dodwell

There was Zipper’s, and Tracy’s was a big drag bar, definitely. For a short
time, and I don’t know why, but TNT’s was a drag bar. It wasn’t all men,
but it was kind of a combination of drag queen and king. They did it for a
while, and then of course, there are plenty more now. I know that there’s

17

�another one that was really big into drag, but I can’t remember. Of course,
The Jewel Box, (Laughs) yes, with their shag carpet, and The Bamboo.
That’s it. There may be more, but those are the ones that I remember the
most that people knew that they could call and say, “When are you having
your next drag show?” and all of that.
Belmonte

When was the first time you remember hearing about AIDS in Tulsa?

Dodwell

While I was working on the helpline. I was on the board, and we got
something. Doug Hartson was president at the time, and we got something
from the newspaper or somewhere, but we had an emergency board meeting
about it. They were talking about this gay disease, and we need to—and also
from Nancy McDonald because she was working on something up there too.
Just kind of a combination of a couple people.

Belmonte

How did the community mobilize in response to AIDS? Did it mobilize?

Dodwell

Well, I think the leaders of the community did, and the health department, of
course. Once the news media got a hold of it, that’s all we needed. It was
just “Get away from gay people,” “Oh, he’s gay. Yeah, he’s got AIDS. I’m
sure.” We had the stigma just probably like every other community did.
Ours might have lasted a little longer; there are people still very uneducated
over that.

Belmonte

Did you ever go to follies review or any of the—what were some of the
fundraisers along those lines that you recall that helped raise money for
AIDS?

Dodwell

Went to a lot of drag shows. They did that. I went to the follies, and I went
to two or three of them at least, maybe more, that the money that was raised
went to some sort of research, or through Tulsa Cares, or something like the
HIV helping agencies and things like that. Mostly the bars, the bars really
kicked in on a lot of things. “We’ll have these shows, no problem. We’ll
lower the drink prices so people will come in, and do this.” I think as a
community as a whole, I know everybody was terrified. I know they were.
They didn’t know what to do, and so they were doing everything they could
to maybe make it better. If the money helped, then great.

Belmonte

Were any of your personal acquaintances or friends victims of the disease?

Dodwell

Oh yeah. I’ve been to more funerals than I’d prefer to be. My very first
friend who died from AIDS is Eric Guinness, and he was a very good friend
of mine. When his partner—when he was dying, and his partner took him to
the hospital, it was the St. Francis’ in Broken Arrow, took him over there.
He was throwing up blood, and he was just really bad. They would not touch

18

�him because they knew he had AIDS. They would not touch him. They told
him he needed to go to the one in Tulsa, the hospital in Tulsa.
Belmonte

Do you recall what year that was?

Dodwell

That was ’89 or ’90.

Belmonte

Tell me if you can recall any other instances along those lines: people’s
family reactions, people whose partners might have then had clashes with
family. Do you recall any instances like that?

Dodwell

Are you talking about for AIDS?

Belmonte

For AIDS in particular, with hospital, medical authorities.

Dodwell

Medical authorities, oh yeah. It was a real big deal. Of course, it was full
gown, and facial, and gloves, and everything for everybody that would enter
the room, including the doctor and nurses. I was an HIV care coordinator for
OSU, and this—just recently I guess. I’d go up to the hospital—even today,
would go to the hospitals here, TRMC or any of these hospitals around. It’s
awful, but especially like St. John’s and St. Francis, they just don’t know
how to treat it; they don’t want to treat it. I don’t know why, whatever,
maybe it’s a religious thing. I do know that TRMC is the most
compassionate, from my experience, with people like that. As far as
reactions, they just get treated differently. Whenever I was going before to
my friends and seeing them in the hospital and to now, it’s getting a little
better, maybe because education is better, I hope. Back then, even the
doctors and the nurses were not as educated as what they should be. They
would never think of kissing somebody on the lips who had AIDS. I mean,
they just don’t understand what it’s about.

Belmonte

When did you become an HIV/AIDS educator?

Dodwell

Let’s see. When I went to work for OSU, that’s how I started—

Belmonte

OSU Medical School?

Dodwell

Yeah, off Southwest Boulevard. It was a grant-funded position, so it was a
short-term thing. I started doing that four years ago, almost four years ago. I
worked there two and a half, three years, two and a half years, I guess. I did
testing, HIV testing and counseling. Did the statistics and everything as far
as the patients that were coming in. I learned, and I saw a lot. A lot of times
they’ll come in to be tested, and they’re straight. It’s like, “I can’t have
AIDS because I’m not a homosexual,” so I have to educate them and talk to
them, and it takes forever. It was important to me that if they did, if they
were positive, they needed to be educated just for the safety of their own

19

�self. I saw a lot in the community. Some people who get AIDS, they have a
whole different look at life after they get over all the pissed off stage and
everything else, and they kind of get down to it. It’s like, “Okay. Well, let’s
see. I’ve got this much to live or not to live or whatever. I’m going to make
a difference.” Hopefully they continue to do that, and most of them did.
Belmonte

Have you had much experience with members of the black gay and lesbian
community in Tulsa?

Dodwell

Very little. Very little.

Belmonte

Do you have any theories why there may be such a—it’s a tremendous gap
in this community along this line. Do you have any impressions as to why
that might be?

Dodwell

Do you really want to know?

Belmonte

Yeah.

Dodwell

The ones that I do know—the ones that I’ve met and talked to, I’ve asked
them—especially when I was on the board, I would say, “Why are you
coming to be on the board? Have you volunteered? Bring some of your
friends. We have a resource here, and this is really good.” It was like, “I
don’t have enough money for them.” That’s been the rumor for years. What
do you do? I say, “No, no, you have this talent. You have this, and you have
this. You can do it,” but it’s going to take more than just one or two people
to go out and say, “Come on in. Come in and talk to us. Join us here.” Other
than being a cultural difference, I don’t know what else it would be.

Belmonte

Do you think that class gap that you’re alluding to affects a lot of white
members of the gay and lesbian community?

Dodwell

You bet it does.

Belmonte

Tell me more about that because this is not the first time I’m hearing this
charge made at TOHR. (Laughter)

Dodwell

I have no real issues with TOHR. I believe in it. I want to continue to
believe in it. There are a lot of people who are believing right now that it’s
an elitist society. As far as—you have to be somebody to be a part of it. I’ve
been a part of TOHR since the ’80s.

Belmonte

For twenty years.

Dodwell

Yeah. I don’t think I have much of a balance on my checkbook. You know, I
don’t have that much money, but I believe in the community, and I believe

20

�in the people in the community. But from what I have heard—I get a lot of
emails from people just telling me things that they’ve experienced like, “I
went into TOHR. I went into the office, and they looked at me like I was just
this bum, and I wasn’t going to be accepted, and I didn’t feel right. They’re
all walking around with suits and briefcases.” Anyway, they would say this,
and I’d write back and just like, “Give them another chance and go back up
there. Try to see what you can do.” There are a lot of people right now—I
cannot believe I’m telling you this—but there are just a lot of people that
have lost any kind of hope for TOHR. You know that.
Belmonte

I do know that. As someone who’s on the board, it’s something I care about
and hope to change. One of the reasons why I founded this project is I want
everyone’s voices to be heard as part of this.

Dodwell

Right. It’s important to me that people understand that TOHR is what you
make it, or the community is what you make it, period. I may not agree with
everything that they do, but who does? That’s crazy. Everybody has their
own agenda and whatever. I just—there’s a lot of people on the bandwagon
right now that are just saying, “Oh, they did this, and they’re doing this.
They’re doing that.” One thing that I have preached and preached, and you
know, it’s [inaudible] thing. I’ve said, “Keep whining because that’s all
you’re going to get is whine. That’s it. Do something about it. Get up off
your butt and go down there and volunteer and do something about it. Stop
your frickin’ whining.” I will continue to say that. If things work out—if a
building is built, and these people still think this way, it doesn’t always—
people don’t always come when you build the building. You have to get it
going. It takes some time.

Belmonte

It sounds like you’ve done a lot of different things over the years for the
community. You mentioned HIV and the hotline. What are some of the other
things that you have done as a volunteer in the community?

Dodwell

I was on the board. I’ve been on the board twice. The first time was the
helpline, and the second time I was the programming.

Belmonte

What year was this?

Dodwell

When I was on the board the first time, it was 1985 to ’89. Yes.

Belmonte

Do you remember who else was on the board with you at that time?

Dodwell

Penny Humphrey, Doug Hartson, Dwight Kealiher, Bonnie—and I can’t
remember her last name. I think she was with Penny. Steve—I can’t
remember his name. Anyway, most of the people—I’m sure people who
know them will see this—McCurly, Steve McCurly. I think Cynthia
Corberay, I think.

21

�Belmonte

Cynthia what?

Dodwell

Corberay, I believe. Yeah.

Belmonte

Tell me what you felt—what was the board like in that first period? What
was TOHR like?

Dodwell

The board was actually fun. There was a lot of energy, a lot of motivation to
get people involved. There were some problems in the sidelines, just like
any other board, but they were, for the most part, pretty positive. We had a
lot of speakers at our meetings. We did our best to plan events and to
increase membership and then members coming in to the center. We had a
little—a small library, and I think we had a few videos people could check
out, but not a lot. The main focus of the actual office was the helpline. It was
a big deal. It was really kind of nice to be on the board and just to see—or to
be a part of TOHR at that time. There were a lot of changes that were going
on: some negative, some positive.

Belmonte

Give me some examples.

Dodwell

The negatives were changing with AIDS and having to make those
precautions. Changes with—as far as positive—just more people being
interested in what’s going on. We have more—we had garage sales and
things to raise money for different events that were coming up. The follies
were real big, and of course gay pride. The picnics were really big too.

Belmonte

Tell me about those. What was the first one of those that you went to?

Dodwell

I went to my first picnic—it was at Mohawk.

Belmonte

How did you guys get the word out in the community?

Dodwell

Through the bars, for the most part, and through—some through TOHR but
mostly through the bars. Lots of signs. That was when the bars are the ones
really who put it on. People from TOHR and other people came to it, but
they would cook hot dogs, and they’d have hamburgers. It was just—they’d
have their kids there and whatever. It would be a big, ole—well, by the end
of the day, it was a drunk fest, but it was fun! (Laughter)

Belmonte

Do you remember how many people would go to those?

Dodwell

Hundreds. It was pretty big. Never really had any trouble at Mohawk Park
that I know of. Went there a couple of summers a couple of times, two that I
know of, maybe three. Then it was moved to another park on the west side

22

�of Tulsa, and we were there for a couple of years. I think from there it went
to Veteran’s Park.
Belmonte

Do you—you remember ever going to the Black and White parties?

Dodwell

Oh yeah.

Belmonte

Tell me what those were like.

Dodwell

Well, the first Black and White I went to, The Village People were there to
perform. That’s when I took my mother. That was a lot of fun. People were
in there—I mean, it was packed. It was at the fairgrounds; it was packed. It
was every combination of black and white you can imagine was there. Some
people were in tuxes, some people had limos they’d come in, and they
would—of course that’s when I think the bar—it was an open bar, you
didn’t have to pay or something. I can’t remember, but it was a real big deal
because they had to limit your drinks. The music was great, and it was
just—it was a huge success. I went to three of them. I do remember,
however, whenever the Black and White used to be by invitation only, and if
you didn’t know somebody who was going or who was a part of it, then you
couldn’t get in. I remember that. I was so mad because I thought, “Why?”

Belmonte

It changed from an invitation-only event to one that was publicized, and you
could just pay at the door? Is that what you’re telling me?

Dodwell

Yeah, several years later. There, for a while it was like, “You got Black and
White too? How did you do that? Who do you know?” It was a big deal.

Belmonte

Did you go to any of the Harwelden?

Dodwell

No, I did not. No.

Belmonte

Which remains invitation-only. Okay.

Dodwell

Yeah.

Belmonte

You were on the TOHR board. What made you get off the board the first
time?

Dodwell

I think I had some personal issues with my family that I had to pay attention
to that I wasn’t able to do it. I was still involved; I just stepped down from
the—well, from the helpline the first time. The second time that I was on the
board, I was helping take care of an elderly family member, my ex’s.

Belmonte

What year was this?

23

�Dodwell

This was just a little over two years ago. I wasn’t going to have time. Well,
they were also phasing out the programming, and so basically I wasn’t going
to be on the board anymore. I thought, “This is probably a good time for me
to step down.”

Belmonte

What was the rationale behind that?

Dodwell

Let’s see.

Belmonte

I know some of this might be sensitive in terms of personalities.

Dodwell

No, that’s okay! People are people. They’ve got to do what they’ve got to
do. We had a training with the board. It was downtown, and it was a whole
day training. At that training, they decided to go ahead and eliminate the
programming of TOHR. I thought, “Okay, where does this leave me?” They
wanted to do it until either they got a building or until they got things a little
more straightened out with legalities. We had issues—we had so many
programs that we wanted to work. We had one for the elderly where we
could go and check on our lesbian and gay elderly people and make sure
they were okay, run to the store if we needed to or whatever, and we had
volunteers to do that. Issues came up with—“What if they didn’t have
insurance on their car? Is it going to come back to TOHR because they’re
volunteering in TOHR?” It was just—it just kept building and building and
building, and it got to the point where it was like, “Okay, wait. We need to
stop. We can’t have these programs anymore.”
We had the Rainbow Families, which was huge, and they met at the center,
and then they met in other different places. There were some people who
were uncomfortable with children being in the center. Mainly—there were
some of the transgendered people who were a little concerned because they
didn’t want to confuse them, because a lot of times they would be dressing
in one room, and they didn’t want the kids to run into the room and things
like that. It was just—it was kind of a legal thing. They wanted to have
everything written and drawn up, and they wanted to have enough
volunteers to run those programs. We didn’t at the time. People were
dropping out of TOHR just right and left because of whatever they disagreed
with or whatever.

Belmonte

What were some of those reasons? Do you recall?

Dodwell

Most of the reasons were—they felt like—they would volunteer
information; they would say, “Okay, I have an idea. Why don’t we do this or
this or this?” and then someone on the board or whatever would just say,
“Well, that’s a stupid idea.” Or, they would make time to come to our board
meeting, which usually was like five hours long.

24

�Belmonte

Still is. (Laughs)

Dodwell

They would make time to go, and they would sit there during the whole
meeting. It’s like “No, we need to get them out of here and listen to what
they have to say.” When they would listen to what they had to say, nobody
else would respond to it. They would say, “Well, okay. We’ll look at it.”
They would leave the room, and as soon as they would, they would just turn
the paper over and go, “Okay, next.” They wouldn’t about it. They wouldn’t
even think about an idea or a problem or something like that. There were a
lot of emotions involved whenever I was involved the last time I was on the
board. As far as changes and people getting hurt or feeling like they weren’t
being listened to or that “Oh, it’s just like it was before. You’ve got to have
a lot of money. You’ve got to be a man before you’re in TOHR.” I don’t
believe that myself, really, but you know…

Belmonte

This was in the—this period you’re talking about now, be more
chronologically specific.

Dodwell

Chronologically specific. About three years ago.

Belmonte

Was this when Carrie and Greg were the president—who was president
during this period?

Dodwell

Brent.

Belmonte

Brent. Okay.

Dodwell

Yes, Brent was, and Carrie was President Emeritus. There were issues even
there. Greg was still on the board, too.

Belmonte

Right. They were—this was when Dee was president very briefly, and Brent
came up.

Dodwell

Yes, I was on the board then, too.

Belmonte

I’m sure there was some fallout in the wake of that.

Dodwell

Yeah, there was. I will say something, though. I will say that I don’t know
what Dee did. I don’t know what she did, but it was—considering the time I
have known about TOHR and the things that TOHR has done, she is the
only person who has every brought that many people into the center, in my
opinion, in history of TOHR. I don’t know how she did it. I know she
probably did some things, and maybe she shouldn’t have, but she brought
the community together more than I have seen anybody else. I don’t even—I
don’t know Dee all that well, but I just know that I wish we could do that
again because we were having people—we had waiting lists for people to

25

�get a space at the center. There were that many people there. It was just
incredible. You’d go into the center, and you’d have to go down the hall and
squeeze through people and stuff; they’re everywhere. I just wanted to say
that.
Belmonte

That’s good to know. Bought all of her volunteer mobilization policies.
(Laughter)

Dodwell

No kidding.

Belmonte

That’s one thing that’s very interesting about being a historian: there are
many sides of the same event. I’m sure that Dee’s take on this would differ
from others.

Dodwell

It might even differ from mine. (Laughs)

Belmonte

Right. Were you involved on the board when they started having the gay
pride march?

Dodwell

You mean the…

Belmonte

The actual march that precedes the festival.

Dodwell

Yeah. Well, was I? No, I wasn’t on the board when they first did it. No, I
was not.

Belmonte

Okay. We talked about the origins of that some. Oh! Let’s talk about your
alter ego, Dyke Divine! How could we not talk about that? How long have
you done this? Did you do it before email? Tell me some about the history of
Dyke Divine. How could I forget that? Oh my goodness.

Dodwell

(Laughs) I’ve been doing the Dyke Divine thing for a little over six years,
roughly. How it started was my mother got really sick, and I needed an
outlet over something. I was depressed, and upset, and I didn’t really know
what to do, and so I started to write. There was a guy named David
Jennings, a real asshole—oh, sorry. Anyway.

Belmonte

That’s okay. (Laughter) There’s profanity on it elsewhere.

Dodwell

Okay. He did something called GayTulsa.org. I was starting to read his stuff,
and it was like, oh my gosh, he was horrible. He was cutting down the bars
and all this. I thought he was very funny, but some of the stuff was like,
“Man, that’s going to get you killed!” Well, I started writing to him, and as I
did that, he said, “If you’ve got something to say, why don’t you write for
me?” “Okay then.” I just started doing that, and I started just being myself
and writing about things and people. Sometimes I did bar reviews, and

26

�usually that got me death threats. I started with the community and talking
about those kind of things.
Belmonte

Do you have hard copies of a lot of these things?

Dodwell

You bet I do.

Belmonte

Would you be willing to donate copies of them to the project?

Dodwell

Sure, you bet.

Belmonte

Great. We’ll talk about that in the future.

Dodwell

I just started to get emails. I mean, I would open my email, and I’d have
thirty, forty a day. It was like, oh my gosh, it’s like, “When are you going to
write again? When are you going to write again?” He’d post all of my
articles and things, and I’d try to write every other day. Then people started
writing, just like, “You know, you really helped. You helped me.” It’s like,
“I can’t get enough of you.”

Belmonte

What type of things would you write about?

Dodwell

Sometimes I would write about breakups. I went through a really—well, it
should have been a better breakup than what it was.

Belmonte

Isn’t that always the case, though?

Dodwell

Everybody tried to help. I wrote this really, really, really, really bad article
about people minding their own frickin’ business. It was a hit, (Laughs) and
I just—I didn’t stop. I think part of it, I was angry about my mom. I didn’t
want her to be sick, but it was a real good release for me. I never mentioned
anybody’s names, and most of the time—most of my articles have a lot to
do with something I’ve either experienced personally, or I know personally
somebody else who has done it, but I don’t use other people’s names.
Sometimes it’s like, give me a break. It’s like the whining thing. I wrote
about that. It’s like, you know, just shit or get off the pot. Come on. I don’t
believe that people—maybe I say things—and I’ve heard this from a lot of
people, but I say things that most people don’t, or never would want to say
to anybody else in their life, because I try to tell people how it is. I try to do
it. I love to write. Then I figured out that I had something to say to the
community, and they were listening. Oh my god, they were listening to me.
(Laughs)

Belmonte

Thirty, forty emails a day, boy, that’s a lot of time to invest in—

27

�Dodwell

Yeah, and it got more. I got a whole lot more. Then I finally got my own
domain, and I have my own site now in which I do all my own stuff. Oh
man.

Belmonte

Did you teach yourself how to do all of the web design and everything?

Dodwell

Yeah.

Belmonte

You started building this rather amazing email database. How many people
do you think are in that list now?

Dodwell

I have 2,800 people on my list.

Belmonte

That’s impressive.

Dodwell

(Laughs) It’s a lot. Yeah, it’s about 2,800.

Belmonte

Mostly women?

Dodwell

Combination. A lot of straight people and just people who have said, “Put
me on the email list. I want that.”

Belmonte

What do you do? You do a weekly newsletter, postings, what do you use this
list for mainly?

Dodwell

To give information out about things that are going on in the community. I
don’t use it for things—that other email that was going around. I might send
that to one or two people but not the community. It’s usually community
events. I don’t know, just—I believe that these—I don’t know. I kept telling
my ex, I said, “How in the world are they—it’s like they’re not working or
sleeping or something. It’s like they’ve emailed me two, three times a day.”
I didn’t know what to do with all that. Boy, let me tell you: it gets your head
really big. I had to really watch it. (Laughs)

Belmonte

That’s clearly serving a need.

Dodwell

Yeah, I’m glad I am. It makes me feel good, makes me feel really good.

Terry

You’ve got a big gay pride parade, and she wore a t-shirt, and on the back it
said “Dyke Divine.” People would walk up and go, “Oh man, I love your
website!”

Belmonte

That’s great. In some ways, it strikes me as you’ve just taken the helpline
work you did digital.

28

�Dodwell

Yes. Then I’ll get an email that will say “searching for help.” I’m like, “Oh
god, here we go.” It’s like, “Okay.” Sometimes it’s something real basic,
and sometimes it’s, “I need to get out of this abusive situation,” or “I just
left my husband. I know I’m a lesbian, but he’s going to kill me.” There’s
just—I can’t stop it because now people depend on it. It took me a while to
figure that out. I was just like, “Oh, they don’t pay attention.” The very
first—two prides ago, maybe three, I was DJ’ing at the picnic. It was when,
right in the middle of the ole Dyke Divine thing going, and girls would
come up and they’d always be like, “Where’s Dyke Divine?” They would
come up to the picnic thing; they’d come up to my little booth, and they’d
go, “Can you sign my shirt?” (Laughs) “Sure,” and I’d dot my I’s.
(Laughter) It’s been a lot of fun. It really has. I’m glad it’s helped some
people.

Belmonte

That’s great. I think I have covered a lot of ground with you here, and I
certainly appreciate your time, both of your time. Unless you have anything
you’d like to add …

Dodwell

I do have one thing I’d like to add. I want to tell you a small story about—it
was Christmastime, and we did what’s called a fairy tree at the center. It was
for people who had some kids or knew people who had kids that might need
some help at Christmas. The whole community would get together, and they
would buy gifts. They would bring them to the—instead of an angel tree, we
called it a fairy tree. Anyway, we were there one night, and a whole bunch
of us were there, and there was a guy that came in. He looked like just this
big, ole, burly—this bald-headed boy; he was just tough-looking. He said,
“Is this TOHR?” and I said “Yes it is.” He said, “I’ve got some toys for you.
You may want to come out and get them.” I thought, “I don’t even know
this guy. Okay.” I went out, and he did. His whole back end of his truck was
full of toys.
We were on our way out there, and he said, “I can’t use them anymore,” and
he would bring the toys. He starts bringing them in and all this. On the last
load, he’s bringing them in; he starts to cry. He said, “You want to know
why I’m doing this?” I said, “Okay.” He said, “I just came from”—he had
just came from his parents’ house, and I guess his—not his parents, his
oldest daughter’s house. His oldest daughter would not let him give all these
gifts. He had four grandchildren he had never met. She would not let him
see them, or give them gifts, or even leave the gifts for them because he was
gay. He was in tears. This big man put the sack down, and he just grabbed
me and just was crying. He said, “I don’t know what I would have done if
you all would not have been open.” That is why we need [inaudible], and
that was why we need [inaudible].

Belmonte

That’s a pretty poignant way to end this, and I appreciate your time. This
concludes this interview.

29

�------- End of interview -------

30

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