Oklahoma marriage equality 12th anniversary article
Title
Oklahoma marriage equality 12th anniversary article
Subject
Oklahoma marriage equality history
Description
Oklahoma marriage equality lawsuit plaintiff Mary Bishop-Baldwin writes about the case that brought marriage equality to Oklahoma and the family rights advances for LGBTQ people that have sprung from that.
Creator
Mary Bishop-Baldwin
Publisher
Oklahomans for Equality
Date
Oct. 6, 2026
Rights
Oklahomans for Equality
Type
Article
Text
Oklahoma marriage equality 12th anniversary
By Mary Bishop-Baldwin
Oklahomans for Equality History Project
I’ve been researching and writing articles on OkEq’s and Oklahoma’s LGBTQ history since this spring, and with my journalism background, I’ve written them from a third-person perspective. But today’s issue is profoundly personal for me, so, in the interest of transparency, I’m writing this in first person, and I’m drawing on my own memories as well as on historical documents. I hope you’ll indulge me. Today, Oct. 6, 2026, is the 12th anniversary of marriage equality in Oklahoma. It’s also my 12th wedding anniversary.
Twenty-two years ago next month, Sharon Baldwin, Sue Barton, Gay Phillips and I filed a federal lawsuit against Oklahoma Gov. Brad Henry, Oklahoma Attorney General Drew Edmondson, United States Attorney General John Ashcroft and U.S. President George W. Bush seeking the right to marry (Sharon and me) or to have our existing relationship recognized. (Sue and Gay already had a domestic partnership in Vermont.) We filed the case the morning after 76 percent of Oklahomans who bothered to go to the polls voted to put the state’s existing statutory ban against same-sex marriage into the state constitution. Our case took lots of twists and turns over the next decade, including a complete change of lawyers and defendants (Drew Edmondson later told us he’d always been on our side), but we eventually prevailed in the courts, and marriage equality became the law in Oklahoma on Oct. 6, 2014 – a year before Jim Obergefell’s case won marriage equality nationwide.
We weren’t affiliated with Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights – Oklahomans for Equality’s previous name – in the early years of our legal action, but the organization threw its weight behind our cause starting in 2008, and we will forever remain indebted to OkEq for the support it gave us and the home it provided us at the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center. It is my honor and privilege to be working for the Oklahomans for Equality History Project now to bring attention not just to this but to all the milestones along the road to LGBTQ equality so far.
As Sharon discusses in her book about our case, “Becoming Brave: Winning Marriage Equality in Oklahoma and Finding Our Voice” (available for check-out in OkEq’s Nancy and Joe McDonald Rainbow Library), Oklahomans for Equality hosted many events and was the primary fund-raiser for costs associated with our lawsuit. (Thank you, OkEq and all of you who donated!)
OkEq declared “Marriage Equality Week” and organized several events during the week of March 25-30, 2013, when the U.S. Supreme Court heard oral arguments in New York resident Edie Windsor’s case challenging the Defense of Marriage Act and in the challenge to California’s anti-equality Proposition 8. On that Monday, the University of Tulsa law school’s gay student group presented a “Preview to the Supreme Court Hearings on Marriage Equality” at the Equality Center, and faith leaders from local inclusive congregations spoke in support of marriage equality. That Tuesday, OkEq board member and attorney Mike Redman discussed that day’s U.S. Supreme Court hearings. On Wednesday, Oklahoma’s marriage-equality plaintiffs and local couples who had been legally married in other jurisdictions held a panel discussion on why marriage matters. That Thursday, attorney and OkEq board member Conor Cleary recapped discussions in the DOMA and Prop 8 hearings, and on Friday, a marriage equality documentary was screened and wedding cake was served. A flier from Oklahomans for Equality to its Equality Business Alliance members invited them to participate in an OkEq Wedding Fair by showing off their business services to prospective brides & brides and grooms & grooms during that week’s events.
Then, more than nine years after our lawsuit was filed, U.S. Senior District Judge Terence Kern ruled on Jan. 14, 2014, that Oklahoma’s ban on same-sex marriage violated the U.S. Constitution’s equal protection provision. He stayed his ruling, however, until the case could play out in appeals. We had known from the beginning that if we lost at any point, we would appeal, and we knew that if we won, the state would appeal. So we were OK with the stay at that point. We were elated that we had won, and we continued to have faith that we would win on appeal. Anticipating new costs as the case would go to the 10th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Denver, Oklahomans for Equality encouraged supporters in its Jan. 17, 2014 eNews to contribute to the legal fund.
The Feb. 5, 2014, OkEq eNews promoted a pre-Valentine’s Day marriage-equality engagement party to be held at All Souls Unitarian Church, one of our supporting congregations, on Feb. 12. “Announce your desire to marry as soon as it is legal in Oklahoma,” the article said. “Certificates provided to couples announcing. There will be food, drink and music.”
The first and only time oral arguments were heard in our case was April 17, 2014, in the Byron White U.S. Courthouse in Denver, the home of the 10th Circuit. Three months and a day later, on July 18, the appeals court issued a ruling upholding Judge Kern’s U.S. District Court ruling declaring Oklahoma’s ban unconstitutional. We had won again, but the court left the stay in place pending appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court.
Indeed, the defendant (by this point, the defendant was the Tulsa County court clerk) did appeal. We also urged the U.S. Supreme Court to hear our case, even though we had won. We wanted the high court to make a ruling that would apply to the entire nation and end the patchwork quilt of marriage-equality states that had emerged during the past decade. One of the original printings of the Brief for Respondents – or “orange book” – with our attorneys’ pleading to the high court to take up our case, signed by all four plaintiffs and three exceptional lawyers – Don Holladay, James Warner III and Joe Thai – is on file in the OkEq History Project collection, and a digital reproduction is available in our online archives.
But on Oct. 6, 2014, nearly 10 years after we filed our lawsuit, the U.S. Supreme Court issued a statement saying it would not take up the appeal of our lower court ruling, thus letting it stand. The stay was lifted, and same-sex couples were able to marry starting that day. The staff and board of Oklahomans for Equality jumped into action, and by 5 o’clock that evening, Sharon and I were holding wedding bouquets and standing in front of Oklahoma Court of Civil Appeals Judge Jane Wiseman on the front steps of the Tulsa County Courthouse, where we had obtained a marriage license just hours before, and were saying our vows in front of a crowd of hundreds of friends, family, co-workers, supporters and onlookers. Then what seemed like even more people attended a reception at the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center, complete with a hastily obtained wedding cake and plenty of champagne for toasting the historic occasion.
We were elated, and while we were ecstatic to finally be married, we were even more thrilled for our community. Now same-sex couples in our state and region (10th Circuit states) could publicly acknowledge their relationships and have them recognized by our government! We all could lift our heads higher and walk more proudly, knowing that we were no longer second-class citizens under the law. On the marriage front, at least, we were equal to heterosexuals in the eyes of the law.
And we were far from the only same-sex couple married in Oklahoma that day. When Sharon and I arrived at the courthouse, several other couples were already there to get their marriage licenses. Very kindly, though, they were waiting for us to get there and then let us go to the head of the line so we could have the honor of obtaining the first marriage license issued to a same-sex couple in Tulsa County. Some of them went ahead with their ceremonies as soon as possible, but we scheduled ours for that evening to allow for arrangements to be made and for friends and family to get to Tulsa from out of town.
Oklahomans for Equality determined that during the next three months, more than 3,200 Oklahoma marriage licenses were issued to same-sex couples in 23 of the state’s 77 counties, then-OkEq Executive Director Toby Jenkins told the Tulsa World in January 2015. County court clerks’ offices weren’t keeping a count, but OkEq staff members went through online records and tallied the numbers of marriage license applications issued to couples with apparently same-gender names. The tally sheets are on file in the Oklahomans for Equality History Project archives.
Immediately after marriage equality became the law in Oklahoma, Oklahomans for Equality made a list of gay-friendly officiants for wedding ceremonies available for pickup at the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center or by email. Also in its Oct. 8, 2014, eNews, it encouraged couples to look through the Equality Business Alliance directory for LGBTQ-friendly businesses to help create the perfect wedding, and it promoted spaces within the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center as places to hold a ceremony. For those with questions about how the legality of same-sex marriage would affect them, Conor Cleary led an Oct. 9, 2014, session of OkEq’s OUTlaw Legal Series focused on the state of same-sex marriage in Oklahoma.
Also as early as Oct. 8, 2014, OkEq put out a call for wedding photos from the same-sex couples who had gotten legally married since Oct. 6. “If you have a photo of you and your partner getting your marriage license or photos of your wedding, we'd like to see them, the organization wrote in the Jan. 22, 2015, OkEq eNews. The organization continued collecting photographs, and then, near the one-year anniversary of marriage equality in Oklahoma, Oklahomans for Equality released a video compilation of those that had been submitted. A link to the YouTube video is included in the Oct. 7, 2015, OkEq eNews.
Within one year of same-sex marriage becoming legal in Oklahoma, marriage equality became the law of the land nationwide when the Supreme Court ruled in the Obergefell case on June 26, 2015. The patchwork quilt of marriage-equality states was no more! Finally we could fly through Dallas and not have our marriages nullified by the state of Texas as soon as the plane’s wheels hit the tarmac at DFW! (Yes, Oklahoma beat Texas!) Same-sex couples could drive across the country without having to plan their routes to avoid non-marriage-equality states. Besides the psychological reasons for wanting our marriages intact, we had practical reasons. If one spouse had a medical emergency and ended up in a hospital – or dead – the laws of the state would determine whether the other could make medical decisions and body-disposition arrangements or whether the two were “strangers under the law.” These things were among the reasons we wanted and needed marriage equality in the first place, and they were important whether we were at home or traveling.
Committed, loving same-sex couples had long yearned for the ability to take care of each other and to protect their financial and property rights in the event of a death. Before marriage was possible, some gay couples became legally next-of-kin through adult adoption, in which one partner would legally adopt the other to establish familial rights. Such was the case with Bruce Schultz and Jared Bruce, who obtained an adult adoption when they were both 50 years old in 2005. Thus related under the law, they were not eligible to marry when same-sex marriage was legalized in Oklahoma in 2014 and across the United States in 2015.
But longing to have a legal relationship that truly fit their status as life partners, they sought to have their adult adoption vacated. Represented by attorney Mike Redman, who was then the Oklahoma ACLU president and a longtime OkEq board member, the couple obtained the first reversal of an adult adoption from the Oklahoma Supreme Court on Feb. 1, 2017, and were legally married at the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center on that same day. They had been together 35 years. “I was orphaned at 10 o’clock in the morning and married at 5,” Jared Bruce said Friday.
Their case set a precedent for other adult adoptions to be vacated when deemed by a court to be in the best interest of the parties. For their dedication and determination in this cause, “the Bruces,” as they are known, were honored with the Bishop-Baldwin, Barton & Phillips Civil Rights Advocacy Award in 2018. Redman received the award the next year.
The adoption of children is another legal issue that was affected by marriage equality. On Nov. 20, 2015, Julie and Crystal Loveland-Davis, represented by attorneys (and husbands) Chris Brecht-Smith and Michael Brecht-Smith, both past OkEq board presidents, obtained the first same-sex second-parent adoption in the state of Oklahoma for their 3-year-old daughter. Kyler Loveland-Davis was born June 1, 2013, and the couple were legally married nine days after marriage became possible for them in Oklahoma in October 2014.
As Oklahomans for Equality noted in its Feb. 10, 2016, eNews, “LGBT families have existed for years, but only recently has Oklahoma law begun recognizing us.” To help our families navigate the legal waters of protecting their family members, OkEq held an informational seminar on a variety of family law topics, including marriage, adoption, divorce, child custody and military service as it relates to family law. The event was facilitated by Chris Brecht-Smith, who talked about adoption and child custody issues and answered questions from the audience.
As we approach Oklahomans for Equality’s Tulsa Pride parade and festival on Oct. 17 – just a week and a half away – we recognize that while we still have a long way to go in gaining equal rights for all LGBTQ people, we can look back with pride on how far we’ve come. We have achieved marriage equality and the benefits that come with it.
Happy anniversary, everyone. This is a day of celebration for all of us. And happy Pride!
--- Mary
By Mary Bishop-Baldwin
Oklahomans for Equality History Project
I’ve been researching and writing articles on OkEq’s and Oklahoma’s LGBTQ history since this spring, and with my journalism background, I’ve written them from a third-person perspective. But today’s issue is profoundly personal for me, so, in the interest of transparency, I’m writing this in first person, and I’m drawing on my own memories as well as on historical documents. I hope you’ll indulge me. Today, Oct. 6, 2026, is the 12th anniversary of marriage equality in Oklahoma. It’s also my 12th wedding anniversary.
Twenty-two years ago next month, Sharon Baldwin, Sue Barton, Gay Phillips and I filed a federal lawsuit against Oklahoma Gov. Brad Henry, Oklahoma Attorney General Drew Edmondson, United States Attorney General John Ashcroft and U.S. President George W. Bush seeking the right to marry (Sharon and me) or to have our existing relationship recognized. (Sue and Gay already had a domestic partnership in Vermont.) We filed the case the morning after 76 percent of Oklahomans who bothered to go to the polls voted to put the state’s existing statutory ban against same-sex marriage into the state constitution. Our case took lots of twists and turns over the next decade, including a complete change of lawyers and defendants (Drew Edmondson later told us he’d always been on our side), but we eventually prevailed in the courts, and marriage equality became the law in Oklahoma on Oct. 6, 2014 – a year before Jim Obergefell’s case won marriage equality nationwide.
We weren’t affiliated with Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights – Oklahomans for Equality’s previous name – in the early years of our legal action, but the organization threw its weight behind our cause starting in 2008, and we will forever remain indebted to OkEq for the support it gave us and the home it provided us at the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center. It is my honor and privilege to be working for the Oklahomans for Equality History Project now to bring attention not just to this but to all the milestones along the road to LGBTQ equality so far.
As Sharon discusses in her book about our case, “Becoming Brave: Winning Marriage Equality in Oklahoma and Finding Our Voice” (available for check-out in OkEq’s Nancy and Joe McDonald Rainbow Library), Oklahomans for Equality hosted many events and was the primary fund-raiser for costs associated with our lawsuit. (Thank you, OkEq and all of you who donated!)
OkEq declared “Marriage Equality Week” and organized several events during the week of March 25-30, 2013, when the U.S. Supreme Court heard oral arguments in New York resident Edie Windsor’s case challenging the Defense of Marriage Act and in the challenge to California’s anti-equality Proposition 8. On that Monday, the University of Tulsa law school’s gay student group presented a “Preview to the Supreme Court Hearings on Marriage Equality” at the Equality Center, and faith leaders from local inclusive congregations spoke in support of marriage equality. That Tuesday, OkEq board member and attorney Mike Redman discussed that day’s U.S. Supreme Court hearings. On Wednesday, Oklahoma’s marriage-equality plaintiffs and local couples who had been legally married in other jurisdictions held a panel discussion on why marriage matters. That Thursday, attorney and OkEq board member Conor Cleary recapped discussions in the DOMA and Prop 8 hearings, and on Friday, a marriage equality documentary was screened and wedding cake was served. A flier from Oklahomans for Equality to its Equality Business Alliance members invited them to participate in an OkEq Wedding Fair by showing off their business services to prospective brides & brides and grooms & grooms during that week’s events.
Then, more than nine years after our lawsuit was filed, U.S. Senior District Judge Terence Kern ruled on Jan. 14, 2014, that Oklahoma’s ban on same-sex marriage violated the U.S. Constitution’s equal protection provision. He stayed his ruling, however, until the case could play out in appeals. We had known from the beginning that if we lost at any point, we would appeal, and we knew that if we won, the state would appeal. So we were OK with the stay at that point. We were elated that we had won, and we continued to have faith that we would win on appeal. Anticipating new costs as the case would go to the 10th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Denver, Oklahomans for Equality encouraged supporters in its Jan. 17, 2014 eNews to contribute to the legal fund.
The Feb. 5, 2014, OkEq eNews promoted a pre-Valentine’s Day marriage-equality engagement party to be held at All Souls Unitarian Church, one of our supporting congregations, on Feb. 12. “Announce your desire to marry as soon as it is legal in Oklahoma,” the article said. “Certificates provided to couples announcing. There will be food, drink and music.”
The first and only time oral arguments were heard in our case was April 17, 2014, in the Byron White U.S. Courthouse in Denver, the home of the 10th Circuit. Three months and a day later, on July 18, the appeals court issued a ruling upholding Judge Kern’s U.S. District Court ruling declaring Oklahoma’s ban unconstitutional. We had won again, but the court left the stay in place pending appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court.
Indeed, the defendant (by this point, the defendant was the Tulsa County court clerk) did appeal. We also urged the U.S. Supreme Court to hear our case, even though we had won. We wanted the high court to make a ruling that would apply to the entire nation and end the patchwork quilt of marriage-equality states that had emerged during the past decade. One of the original printings of the Brief for Respondents – or “orange book” – with our attorneys’ pleading to the high court to take up our case, signed by all four plaintiffs and three exceptional lawyers – Don Holladay, James Warner III and Joe Thai – is on file in the OkEq History Project collection, and a digital reproduction is available in our online archives.
But on Oct. 6, 2014, nearly 10 years after we filed our lawsuit, the U.S. Supreme Court issued a statement saying it would not take up the appeal of our lower court ruling, thus letting it stand. The stay was lifted, and same-sex couples were able to marry starting that day. The staff and board of Oklahomans for Equality jumped into action, and by 5 o’clock that evening, Sharon and I were holding wedding bouquets and standing in front of Oklahoma Court of Civil Appeals Judge Jane Wiseman on the front steps of the Tulsa County Courthouse, where we had obtained a marriage license just hours before, and were saying our vows in front of a crowd of hundreds of friends, family, co-workers, supporters and onlookers. Then what seemed like even more people attended a reception at the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center, complete with a hastily obtained wedding cake and plenty of champagne for toasting the historic occasion.
We were elated, and while we were ecstatic to finally be married, we were even more thrilled for our community. Now same-sex couples in our state and region (10th Circuit states) could publicly acknowledge their relationships and have them recognized by our government! We all could lift our heads higher and walk more proudly, knowing that we were no longer second-class citizens under the law. On the marriage front, at least, we were equal to heterosexuals in the eyes of the law.
And we were far from the only same-sex couple married in Oklahoma that day. When Sharon and I arrived at the courthouse, several other couples were already there to get their marriage licenses. Very kindly, though, they were waiting for us to get there and then let us go to the head of the line so we could have the honor of obtaining the first marriage license issued to a same-sex couple in Tulsa County. Some of them went ahead with their ceremonies as soon as possible, but we scheduled ours for that evening to allow for arrangements to be made and for friends and family to get to Tulsa from out of town.
Oklahomans for Equality determined that during the next three months, more than 3,200 Oklahoma marriage licenses were issued to same-sex couples in 23 of the state’s 77 counties, then-OkEq Executive Director Toby Jenkins told the Tulsa World in January 2015. County court clerks’ offices weren’t keeping a count, but OkEq staff members went through online records and tallied the numbers of marriage license applications issued to couples with apparently same-gender names. The tally sheets are on file in the Oklahomans for Equality History Project archives.
Immediately after marriage equality became the law in Oklahoma, Oklahomans for Equality made a list of gay-friendly officiants for wedding ceremonies available for pickup at the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center or by email. Also in its Oct. 8, 2014, eNews, it encouraged couples to look through the Equality Business Alliance directory for LGBTQ-friendly businesses to help create the perfect wedding, and it promoted spaces within the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center as places to hold a ceremony. For those with questions about how the legality of same-sex marriage would affect them, Conor Cleary led an Oct. 9, 2014, session of OkEq’s OUTlaw Legal Series focused on the state of same-sex marriage in Oklahoma.
Also as early as Oct. 8, 2014, OkEq put out a call for wedding photos from the same-sex couples who had gotten legally married since Oct. 6. “If you have a photo of you and your partner getting your marriage license or photos of your wedding, we'd like to see them, the organization wrote in the Jan. 22, 2015, OkEq eNews. The organization continued collecting photographs, and then, near the one-year anniversary of marriage equality in Oklahoma, Oklahomans for Equality released a video compilation of those that had been submitted. A link to the YouTube video is included in the Oct. 7, 2015, OkEq eNews.
Within one year of same-sex marriage becoming legal in Oklahoma, marriage equality became the law of the land nationwide when the Supreme Court ruled in the Obergefell case on June 26, 2015. The patchwork quilt of marriage-equality states was no more! Finally we could fly through Dallas and not have our marriages nullified by the state of Texas as soon as the plane’s wheels hit the tarmac at DFW! (Yes, Oklahoma beat Texas!) Same-sex couples could drive across the country without having to plan their routes to avoid non-marriage-equality states. Besides the psychological reasons for wanting our marriages intact, we had practical reasons. If one spouse had a medical emergency and ended up in a hospital – or dead – the laws of the state would determine whether the other could make medical decisions and body-disposition arrangements or whether the two were “strangers under the law.” These things were among the reasons we wanted and needed marriage equality in the first place, and they were important whether we were at home or traveling.
Committed, loving same-sex couples had long yearned for the ability to take care of each other and to protect their financial and property rights in the event of a death. Before marriage was possible, some gay couples became legally next-of-kin through adult adoption, in which one partner would legally adopt the other to establish familial rights. Such was the case with Bruce Schultz and Jared Bruce, who obtained an adult adoption when they were both 50 years old in 2005. Thus related under the law, they were not eligible to marry when same-sex marriage was legalized in Oklahoma in 2014 and across the United States in 2015.
But longing to have a legal relationship that truly fit their status as life partners, they sought to have their adult adoption vacated. Represented by attorney Mike Redman, who was then the Oklahoma ACLU president and a longtime OkEq board member, the couple obtained the first reversal of an adult adoption from the Oklahoma Supreme Court on Feb. 1, 2017, and were legally married at the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center on that same day. They had been together 35 years. “I was orphaned at 10 o’clock in the morning and married at 5,” Jared Bruce said Friday.
Their case set a precedent for other adult adoptions to be vacated when deemed by a court to be in the best interest of the parties. For their dedication and determination in this cause, “the Bruces,” as they are known, were honored with the Bishop-Baldwin, Barton & Phillips Civil Rights Advocacy Award in 2018. Redman received the award the next year.
The adoption of children is another legal issue that was affected by marriage equality. On Nov. 20, 2015, Julie and Crystal Loveland-Davis, represented by attorneys (and husbands) Chris Brecht-Smith and Michael Brecht-Smith, both past OkEq board presidents, obtained the first same-sex second-parent adoption in the state of Oklahoma for their 3-year-old daughter. Kyler Loveland-Davis was born June 1, 2013, and the couple were legally married nine days after marriage became possible for them in Oklahoma in October 2014.
As Oklahomans for Equality noted in its Feb. 10, 2016, eNews, “LGBT families have existed for years, but only recently has Oklahoma law begun recognizing us.” To help our families navigate the legal waters of protecting their family members, OkEq held an informational seminar on a variety of family law topics, including marriage, adoption, divorce, child custody and military service as it relates to family law. The event was facilitated by Chris Brecht-Smith, who talked about adoption and child custody issues and answered questions from the audience.
As we approach Oklahomans for Equality’s Tulsa Pride parade and festival on Oct. 17 – just a week and a half away – we recognize that while we still have a long way to go in gaining equal rights for all LGBTQ people, we can look back with pride on how far we’ve come. We have achieved marriage equality and the benefits that come with it.
Happy anniversary, everyone. This is a day of celebration for all of us. And happy Pride!
--- Mary
Files
Citation
Mary Bishop-Baldwin, “Oklahoma marriage equality 12th anniversary article,” OKEQ History Project, accessed October 6, 2026, https://www.history.okeq.org/items/show/1408.