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                    <text>Oral History Interview
with
Janet Gearin
Interview Conducted by
Laura Belmonte
February 22, 2004

OKEQ Oral History Project

Oklahoma Oral History Research Program
Edmon Low Library ● Oklahoma State University
©2004

�OKEQ Oral History Project
Interview History
Interviewer: Laura Belmonte
Transcriber: Janet Gearin
Editors: Anika Benthem
The recording and transcript of this interview were processed at the Oklahoma State University
Library in Stillwater, Oklahoma.

Project Detail
The OKEQ Oral History Project is a series of interviews documenting the rich contributions of
LGBTQ community members in the state of Oklahoma, with a particular emphasis on Tulsa and
the surrounding area. These interviews were conducted by members of Oklahomans for Equality,
formerly Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights.

Legal Status
Scholarly use of the recordings and transcripts of the interview with Janet Gearin is unrestricted.
The interview agreement was signed on February 22, 2004.

2

�OKEQ Oral History Project
Janet Gearin
Oral History Interview
[Editor note – Janet provided an update in March 2026 which is at the end of this
transcript in an Addendum.]
Interviewed by Laura Belmonte
February 22, 2004
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Belmonte

It is Sunday, February 22, 2004, and I am Laura Belmonte with Jennifer
Davis, and today we are interviewing Janet Gearin. Janet, will you just
begin with some basic, biographical information?

Gearin

You want my age and all of that? (Laughs)

Belmonte

Your birthday, occupation, you know, that sort of stuff.

Gearin

Now, I just turned February 3. I was born in 1947, so I’m fifty-seven years
old. I’m from Oklahoma, born in Vinita. Didn’t live there very long. Folks
lived mostly in Duncan, and I actually finished high school in Lindsay,
Oklahoma, which is south of Oklahoma City. When I finished high school, I
decided that I wanted to go to college, did so, and went to the University
of—Oklahoma College of Liberal Arts, I should say. It had changed—it was
OCW, which was Oklahoma College for Women, but the year before I went,
they actually changed it to a co-ed school, so that was really quite an
experience to be there at a university that had been a women’s college for
fifty-some-odd years. I had a really good time there. I was a biology major,
minored in chemistry, and I was pre-med at that time. When it got time for
me to go and interview at the University of Oklahoma for med school, I was
declined admission, primarily because I was a woman, but at that time, I
didn’t really want to take issue with it. I kind of started to get cold feet
anyway, so I—after I finished my degree there, I went ahead and worked for
a year at Saint Francis.
I worked in labor and delivery and decided that that was my life. I really like
labor and delivery and thought seriously that I would be like a midwife. I
stayed there for a little over a year. I applied to nursing school and was
accepted into the University of Colorado and was there for three years
getting a bachelor’s of science and nursing. However, along the way, while I

3

�was in that process of three years, I realized that there was very little work
and employment for midwives. Unless you lived in Kentucky or parts of
Tennessee, you really couldn’t practice that. I made a course change as I
was in nursing school and decided that I really psychiatry. From that point
on, I became invested in pursuing a career in psychiatric nursing. While
there, I was talked to by my professor, and she suggested that I consider
going to get my master’s degree and becoming what they were calling a
clinical specialist. It was a brand new role, been out for a couple of years. I
looked at the various universities across the country, and basically, there
were ten that offered that degree: places like Rutgers, Boston University,
Case Western University, University of Colorado, University of California,
San Francisco, University of Washington—really great places.
Had no way of being able to travel and seeing where I wanted to go, so just
kind of talking with various professors and ruling out places because they
only accepted men, which was really (Laughs)—I had no idea that I would
get accepted to all of them, and I felt that surely if I found one that would
take me, that would answer that question. I ended up getting accepted to all
ten universities, and then I had to make a choice. I decided that I wanted to
go west and went to the University of California, San Francisco and lived
there for two years while I worked on my master’s degree. Then decided at
that point in time that I really needed to come home. My parents were aging;
I had a grandmother that was in her eighties, and I felt like I really needed to
come back to Oklahoma. I’d always said that if I got my degree, I would
come back to Oklahoma and try and help upgrade nursing here because it
was really quite antiquated compared to how progressive it was on each
coast.
Did come back. The only way I could come back was by working with the
Department of Veterans Affairs because no one else was going to pay me
the salary that I felt like I at least needed and wanted, so I did come back,
work with the VA in Muskogee. Started there March of ’75, and I’ve been
with the VA ever since then. Opened a brand new mental health clinic in
Muskogee. I was the first person they hired for that clinic, and then, when
we moved up to Tulsa in ’79, I opened the clinic there, helped get that set
up. Then three years ago, we relocated here in Tulsa to 41st and Mingo and
opened that one. Actually have now been in three different mental health
clinics, but all with the VA. I now have twenty-nine years of experience
there and work with veterans within mental health, and love my work. I
truly do. I have still great energy and a gift for my work and love it, dearly
love it. That’s kind of where I’ve been.
The other parts of my life, in terms of more personal, is I’m the youngest of
six children, and it was yours, mine, and our—I’m the “our” child. I have,
surviving, I have two older brothers and one older sister; the other two are
deceased. There’s a difference of twenty-one years between me and my

4

�oldest sister, and the next youngest is eleven years older than I am. For the
most part, I was really kind of an alone child who grew up pretty much kind
of on my own, latchkey kid. My father was a grocery man and did that until
he retired because of health reasons. Parents are both deceased. When I was
in college in Chickasha, realized that I probably was not quite like
everybody else in terms of my sexual orientation, and that’s really kind of
when I began to explore some of that.
Belmonte

Now, have you classified yourself as homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual
for most of your adult life?

Gearin

Homosexual. My family has pretty much known about that for the last thirty
years. Didn’t really while I was out and away and going to school. It really
was never talked about, you know, any of that. My one, big, huge regret is
that my mother died before we really had a chance to talk about that because
I was really very young. I was just into my thirties when she died and was in
a very early relationship, my first real relationship, and just didn’t really get
a chance to talk about that, and I regret that. I really wish that I had. I’ve had
talks with brothers and sisters and my father, had a good talk with him about
it. You know, that’s kind of how that got involved. When I started work here
in Tulsa, I never really belonged to any kind of organization. I know that
part of your interest, I guess, still is TOHR [Tulsa Oklahomans for Human
Rights], but—

Belmonte

Not specifically, the whole community.

Gearin

Okay. When I moved here, I was in a relationship, and it was another nurse
that was with the VA, and she had to medically retire because she was
injured on the job. Altogether, we were in a twenty-five year relationship. I
have a long history here in Tulsa. I’ve met lots of—I don’t even know how
many hundreds of people I’ve met over the years. I feel that I’ve had a very
rich life, and it’s been very different from my professional life, though,
because I’m not exactly out, as you would say, in terms of my work, but I
know that those folks have known me all these years. A majority of them do
know, and I do have a couple of really good friends at work that do know.
When I was—my relationship ended a few years ago, it was very difficult
for me, and I confided in the psychiatrist that I work with here. She already
knew pretty much anyway, so without her help and my other friends’ help, I
really would have had a difficult time.

Belmonte

How old were you when you had your first homosexual experience?

Gearin

Let’s see, I think I was fifteen, if I remember…I believe I was fifteen! And
it was in the back of a car! (Laughter) That’s not even the best part. The best
part is that it was moving; it was being driven by the girl’s mother. We were

5

�on our way to California. I was just about to panic; I’ll never forget that.
That was probably the most priceless experience I had in my life.
Belmonte

Had you suspected there was something different? When do you recall
thinking that for the first time?

Gearin

Actually, it was because of her. When I was in high school—this will
really—well, I’ve already told you how old I am. I was in band. I was a very
active band student, a very good musician.

Belmonte

What years did you go to high school?

Gearin

This would have been, let’s see, I was in ninth grade, so this would have
been freshman in high school. It would’ve ben ’61? There were a group of
us girls that we’d hang out. The other girls were a year older than I, and so
they would have been sophomores in high school. It was so funny. We
really were close; we were really tight knit. All of the sudden I realized—I
went to class one day, went to band; band was first thing in the morning, and
it was like, “Okay, we’re not talking to Vivienne.” “We’re not? Why?”
“She’s queer.” I thought, well—my definition was queer was “odd.” I had
no other definition for queer. I’m thinking, “Well, what’s that got to do with
not talking to her?” Had not sexualized this at all. Had not a clue. I was just
so naïve.
We go then to another class, and I’m sitting there, and I’m talking to one of
the students before the class starts, and I said, “I don’t really understand
what the heck you’re talking about. What’s so strange about Vivienne?” She
said, “Janet, that’s not queer. Don’t you know what queer is?” I said, “Yes.
It’s strange, odd.” I’m trying to remember what else it was in terms of
Webster’s Dictionary. She said, “Janet, no. She’s a lesbian; she’s gay.” Or
homosexual, I’m sorry, I don’t even think gay was being used then. I said,
“Oh.” I still wasn’t even sure, and I thought, “Huh, how do you know that?”
That was my question, was “How do you know that?”

Belmonte

What did she say?

Gearin

She said, “Well, one of the girls, Martha told us.” “Well, how does Martha
know?” It was like—I was no big deal, so what’s the difference? As it was,
the ostracization that she suffered, it was just terrible. I’ve never been able
to understand how people discriminate. To me, you care for somebody
because of who they are, the person that they are. This was a girl that we had
all been friends for many years. We had grown up together, we were in band
together, we ran around together, we did things together. Now, they’re
saying that because she was queer and she was a homosexual, that now we
could no longer have a relationship with her. I probably endured that for, I’d
say, maybe a month. I just couldn’t do it anymore. It was like, I would

6

�watch her. She would walk by herself to class. Nobody walked with her,
nobody talked with her. Boys made fun of her. Girls would—I mean, it was
just awful, it was just absolutely awful.
I literally could not tolerate it, and so I just decided one day, I’m walking
with her. I went up and walked with her to class, I don’t care. You know, if
they don’t like me, that’s it. If I’m like her, then I guess I’m like her. It was
at that point in time that I really became very interested in humanity and
how we treat each other for being different and not really understanding why
we were treating people that differently and hating her and calling her
names. I realized that there’s sometimes that you take a risk. I lost my
naivete. I realize that there’s times where you take a risk for disclosure of
some of this information. I really found her to be extremely brave. I don’t
know how she did it because there was a lot of abuse that she endured. I
never saw her cry, I never saw her break down, I never saw her complain. It
was a really troubling time, but yet it was also a really good time. I became
her friend. We had been friends, but it was like I just wasn’t going to let my
relationship with her go because other people wouldn’t associate with her.
Slowly but surely, and I don’t know that I ever got much in terms of
repercussions because after all this time, I don’t really remember anybody
saying anything negative to me or distancing themselves the way they did,
but it was kind of like people followed suit as I started talking to her again
and interacting with her again, other people, I guess, decided that it was
okay. I think that maybe many of them felt badly because this was a small
town, a small school. There were like sixty of us in my class and maybe
about that many in the class ahead of me, so we’re really talking about a
pretty small school. A lot of that started to stop and I don’t remember people
calling her names or anything else like that after that.
It was—but this was the young girl that—she kind of became infatuated
with me, and I guess I could understand that, and I did become infatuated
with her; she was really my first love. I had no idea until we were in the
backseat of that car going to California, and she kissed me. It was like,
“Oh.” (Laughs) “I don’t think we should be doing this,” because it was not
just a kiss on the cheek, it was like—oh my word. Then I didn’t know what
to do because I knew I shouldn’t say anything because her mother was
driving. I’m all the sudden thinking, “Oh my god, is she able to see in the
rearview mirror?” You know, all these are going through your mind. It’s
like, “Stop it, stop it. Don’t do that to me. Stop it. Help. No, no, don’t do
this.” Then I was like, “Oh no, you know, this is just not supposed to be
happening.” It was really pretty traumatic for me, but at the same time, I
think I really was kind of intrigued by it as well. That was the first time.
Belmonte

Did you wind up having a relationship with Vivienne?

7

�Gearin

To some degree, yes. You’re in high school and you’re doing different
things, and she was a year older, so this was the summer before her junior
year and my sophomore year. We really only had two more years together.
We really were good companions. She was a latchkey kid; I was a latchkey
kid. We lived close in terms of proximity, and it was kind of a—it was really
just a very good friendship. It never really did progress the way it probably
would have if I had really known what was going on and understood things.
I didn’t push for that much, and she didn’t either. When she went to
college—she went to a small college, went to the Oklahoma College for
Women—I followed her. I basically did follow her. Since the last—I didn’t
want to go to a big university. I knew that I really was not prepared to go to
a big university; I had always thought I would go to the University of
Oklahoma. I had been—had music scholarships and everything, but just
couldn’t quite cut that, so I made the choice to go to a small school, which
was just about thirty-five miles from where I lived. They had changed that
over that year, and it still was predominantly women, you know, young
girls, young women that were at the university there, and it was just a fun—I
had a marvelous time for those four years there, just had a marvelous time.

Belmonte

You know, many women’s colleges have had very active lesbian networks,
social lives, you know, even through the twentieth century and late
nineteenth century. How would you describe the climate of your school on
that?

Gearin

It was extremely closeted, let me tell you. I didn’t really appreciate the
dangers involved. Vivienne, my friend, was really—I think she was always
kind of cut out to be the one that was going to be taking that step and be on
the edge. She wanted the freedom; she wanted to be who she was and to do
what she wanted to do. She ended up being expelled my freshman year for
homosexuality, and it was like—I think it was pretty late into my second
semester.

Belmonte

This would have been around, what, 1966?

Gearin

This was ’66, no ’65. No, I’m sorry. It was ’66, spring of ’66. It was really
awful. It was an awful, awful time for me. I can remember, you know,
having—we were in a social club. They didn’t have a sorority on this
campus, but they had social clubs for women, and we belonged to the same
social club. Several of the members were real upset that she was just
flaunting her sexuality and had been caught several times in the dorm by the
dorm mother and stuff like this, and was just making no secret of it. It was
causing a lot of uncomfortableness. They had tried talking with her and
everything else and knew that she and I had been friends and said, “Janet,
please talk with her.” I did, and she said, “Hey, I’m in love. I don’t care.” I
said, “But you have to care. You know, this is—you know, you’re also
looking at your career, your life, you know. They’re saying that you may get

8

�kicked out.” She said, “I don’t believe that.” It’s against the wall, or
something like this, I can’t even remember. It’s been so many years ago.
At any rate, she did get caught and got turned in. I remember she was
coming out of the auditorium from the business offices with her mother and
father, and I just absolutely was devastated because she was gone. You
know, she was gone. The next thing I knew—it was a couple of days later—
I get called into the Dean of Women’s office and that was an even bigger
eye-opener because at that point in time, I’m told that I’ve implicated that
I’m one of the homosexuals on campus. I’m sitting there, and all of the
sudden I realize, this is not when you really want to tell people who you are.
I’ve just seen what happened to my very best friend and knew that that was,
you know, going to be really difficult for her for a long time. I had seen the
look on her parents’ face, and I thought, “I will deny. I will do what I have
to do.” I really was just still very naïve, and it wasn’t very difficult for me,
as well. I just didn’t say anything; I didn’t volunteer. I said, “Well, that’s
really not true.”
I really had not been active on campus, but yet, you know, this was what
was going to be said. Didn’t know if it was—if I had been implicated or not,
it was all very hush-hush. This was a very crucial time, and this woman was
really not a very nice woman; she was pretty mean, pretty vindictive. She
had already had a…kind of a reputation among the students anyway as being
somebody that was very bold, and so I kept my mouth shut. She made some
comments, and I can’t remember now what it was that—I went to my
friends and I said, “What does this mean?” (Laughs) I think she used the
term “active.” I think that was what it was. I had not a clue what she was
really talking about. I could remember running over to one of the few
women that I really, honestly did know that she was a homosexual or a
lesbian, went running over to her room afterwards—she wasn’t even going
to let me in the room because everybody then—talk about shutting down
doors. I mean, it was just really serious business because I wasn’t the only
one that got called into office; several did. As far as I know, nobody else got
dismissed, but it was—
Belmonte

It sounds as if Vivienne was asked to name names.

Gearin

Oh, and that she did. She did. She named quite a few, which really was kind
of bad. I felt worse in terms of her having done that because of the
repercussions for all of us. I often wondered if she was angry at me. I’ve
often wondered if she was angry at me, and that’s why she did that for some
reason. Although, I didn’t know what I had done to anger her.

Belmonte

It’s possible they told her if she did, they’d let her off.

Gearin

Might have, yeah. It’s hard to say, not knowing what the conversation was.

9

�Belmonte

It’s interesting because a lot of students, I think, have—you know, they think
the ’60s, they think wild sexual revolution but don’t really understand that
policies like this were still in place all over the country, that these changes
were really not made until after the ’60s, in some ways. OSU had very
similar policies during the same time. Do you know what happened to
Vivienne, ultimately?

Gearin

Yeah, she left school. She and the woman that she was involved with, they
both got expelled from school. She went to California, where she had a
brother and a sister living out there, and lived out there for several years and
then ended up moving back to Oklahoma. Lived in Norman and worked
with the post office. When I actually had finished my master’s degree, that
was ’75, I came back in ’75, she was working with the post office in
Norman. We actually got to meet up again after all those years, and that—
but I never did remember to ask her that question, why she did do that. It
was like we didn’t talk about it. I don’t think—I spent a few months with
her. Off-and-on, we had a talking relationship for maybe about a year, but
we didn’t get to see each other very frequently because I was busy with my
status in my career at Muskogee, and she was very busy there and was in a
relationship. I never did really find out exactly why she did what she did
what she did. We had never talked about it. It was just kind of—we never
really talked about it at that point. She was pretty actively involved in the
gay community in Oklahoma City, Norman. You know, she was really—I
think she may have even been out at work. I’m not so sure that she might
not have been. This would have been ’75.

Belmonte

Sounds like someone who would have just been compelled to do it.

Gearin

Absolutely.

Belmonte

After this rather horrible experience in college, did you just go back in the
closet to yourself?

Gearin

Oh, absolutely. Oh, listen. This was—we were about fifty miles from
Lawton, and Lawton was a big military town, Army primarily. It was like
the Army guys were always up every weekend because this was a women’s
college, remember, so it was great for women dating soldiers. I mean, it was
a great atmosphere. After that happened, [inaudible] decided, “Okay, I’m
going to look real normal on this campus,” (Laughs) because I valued what I
was doing there. I really wanted to make sure I got my education. The
message was really clear; I mean, we were just—there was no way;
everybody on campus knew what had happened. The Dean of Women made
it very clear; the president made it very clear that, “Hey, you behave that
way and we catch you, you’re gone.” It was like all of us—talk about going
into the closet; we were down underneath the ground. We were so buried so

10

�deep. It was—I, at that point, in time decided, “Well, I think I’ll go and
explore the other side and see what that’s like.” I really became heterosexual
at that particular point in time in my life. It was like, that’s gone. I’m not
going to do that again; I buried it. It’s too costly. It’s too much to risk. I
don’t want to lose all of these things I wanted. That was kind of the brunt of
that, and really it was not bad because I think all of those experiences of
dating the military men have helped me in my career with the VA; it’s
interesting.
Belmonte

When did you once again decide this is a part of me that I am not willing to
sublimate anymore?

Gearin

When I was working on my master’s degree—this is kind of a funny story—
when I was working on my master’s degree—here I am in San Francisco,
which, I mean, the openness of the gay community, even in the ’70s, the
early ’70s, was really pretty remarkable.

Belmonte

Do you recall how you responded to them initially?

Gearin

Well, I can remember thinking, “Oh, they’re really bold here!” It was like,
“Oh my god, are they going to get arrested?” Then I realized that nobody
noticed. It was like nobody saw two men walking down the street, holding
hands, hugging, kissing; it was like nobody paid any attention. It was a
normal part of behavior. My brain started trying to unwind some of all that I
had twisted, and it was like, “Okay, if it’s all right to do this, well, now the
thoughts come back.” Maybe this is the time where I can start to go back
and look at this because I knew that I really was not heterosexual; there was
no doubt in my mind. That was not where I wanted to be. I had gone that
route just to be normal, and I had engaged myself really, totally in studies. I
was a really good student, and I loved school. I really just kind of
sublimated all of my sexual energy in just, you know, “Okay, we don’t exist.
Let’s just do well in school, study, and have friends.” I did a lot of fun
things, traveled a lot, and enjoyed my college—my careers. Remember, this
is my third university now. I’m at the University of California, San
Francisco, which is actually my third stop.
Along the way, I had to take a course with getting a degree in—a master’s in
psychiatric nursing. One of the courses that I had to take was human
sexuality. In fact, we had several courses that we had to take. I had several
clinical hours that I had to do stuff. It was like—I remember the first class,
and we were sitting there, talking. There was like twenty of us in the class.
The professor came in, and she said, “Okay, these are the things that you
will be doing by the end of the term.” We had to [inaudible], we had to—
yeah, see the life of prostitutes and all this other sort of stuff. We ended up
having to go the sexual history museum there, which was just incredible. I
mean, if you’ve never been to San Francisco and been to their museum of

11

�pornography and sexual history, it just—it was incredible. Had to go to a
gay bar, had to go to—had to interview people with disabilities that had
sexual dysfunctioning because of physical limitations. It was all sorts of
things that was included in this course. I became very familiar with SIECUS
[Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States]. I don’t
know if you guys are familiar with SIECUS, but that was my first
introduction, really, to SIECUS and knowing and understanding that that
really existed.
Belmonte

SIECUS is the nation’s, I think, oldest sex education advocacy organization.

Gearin

Right. They provided all the film work, and all of the films that we saw in
the class were actually done by them. It was like, “Well, you’re turned loose
on the city, so here you go.”

Belmonte

Now, this would have been coexistent with the time that it was tremendous
tumult in the psychiatric profession about the removal of homosexuality
from the—

Gearin

It was. It happened actually just two years later. I’m trying to remember
what year was that...

Belmonte

’74.

Gearin

Was it ’74? Yeah. This was ’72 when I was there.

Belmonte

Do you recall what you were being taught about homosexuality and whether
or not the professors you had were challenging that?

Gearin

They were not challenging that, and they were really already talking pretty
much as if it wasn’t an abomination; it was not a mental disorder. I can
remember that several of the professors, several of the psychiatrists that we
came in contact with in our clinical rotations, we had homosexual patients,
but they did not really—unless their sexuality was an issue with that
particular person, it was not an issue. I mean, if they were depressed, and
they happened to be gay, that was not—you know, you didn’t treat them
being gay. We didn’t try to change them or anything like this.
I had seen some of that when I was in the University of Colorado, where
there was some real effort to change. You know, they were doing sex
changes in San Francisco, by the way, and I got in on doing some interviews
with psychologists and joined through some of the progress—some of the
process of what they were doing to see if indeed this person was mentally
stable for a sex change operation. They had to go through a huge
psychological evaluation before the surgeons—you know, they would really
do any kind of procedures and things like this. Being involved in how they

12

�were preparing for those interviews and what kind of information they
wanted to get and, you know, all this sort of thing. It was really a pretty
fascinating time.
Belmonte

Definitely. When did you decide to come back to Tulsa?

Gearin

I had really pretty much decided when I went to graduate school, that after I
finished, I really wanted to come home. I had been away for a long time. I
knew that the education I had gotten, that nurses here were not getting that. I
really wanted to be able to bring some of that back and to perhaps do some
changing in education for nursing here in Oklahoma, and the only way
you’re going to do that is you have to bring what you learned back. So I did
do that. When I interviewed for the job position in Muskogee, I had to, first
of all, be approved by the University of Oklahoma. In fact, it was a clinical
appointment. Muskogee and the VA would not have been able to have hired
me had not the University of Oklahoma approved my. Now, mind you, the
irony in all of this is that the University of Oklahoma denied me admission
to medical school, but now I’m good enough to teach their students and their
residents. I thought that was really kind of a neat irony in my lifetime, that I
had come back around, and, you know, that bus does keep coming back
around.
When I interviewed at the University of Oklahoma and talked with them,
they asked me to do a colloquium because they had no idea that nursing
education was as broad as [inaudible] and that I could do and that I had the
ability to do what I did, which was primarily to be a psychotherapist. I had a
huge background in medicine, as well. I had several classes in
psychopharmacology, and they were just asking me questions. “Well, what
about this drug? What about that drug? What about this diagnosis?” They
could not believe the level of the education that I had, so I was the first
clinical specialist to come to the state of Oklahoma and practice. I was the
first to be asked to do a colloquium for the University of Oklahoma. Went
down to Oklahoma City and, you know, did a presentation with—I think it
was—it seemed like, to me, it was two hundred of them at that audience
because I was a little overwhelmed that everyone there was a physician, but
they were all fascinated and wanted to know how I knew what I knew and
what kind of education I had gotten. It was really a very rewarding
experience to go back and talk with the doctors, and, you know, they really
treated me as a peer, which was a real special feeling for me.

Belmonte

How did you find out about gay life in Tulsa?

Gearin

It’s kind of interesting. When I got to Muskogee…you’ll laugh at this. This
will tell you how I really met my lover of twenty-five years. I was working
at the VA, and I had just gotten there from California. This—when I was
when I was a nurse, and she worked on one of the units. She was—they

13

�were actually the first unit to call me for a consult. They had a patient there
that was giving them some problems, and they felt like maybe I could come
in and see the patient. So I came in, all very serious-minded, and I had to
wear lab coats at that time, but I couldn’t wear regular clothes.
Now, I was a California girl by this time and grew up just after the flower
children. I was in the—lived right on Haight-Ashbury, lived right on
Ashbury Street, just up from Haight. It was all a lot of flower children, free
thinking, and I had had a wonderful, rich life when I lived in San Francisco.
One of the things was mini-skirts were really big then, and I had some
wonderful mini-skirts and things like this. I was much slimmer, and I’m tall
anyway and was very tan. I guess when I came on to the hospital, I had all
the doctors just absolutely coming in, married or not married, and it was
like, “Oh no, don’t want to go here, don’t want to do this.” When I first
came on that unit, Linda saw me, and she was the one that had actually
requested the consult. This is a straight woman; she had already been
married three times, I think it was.
Belmonte

Clearly didn’t take.

Gearin

Cleary. (Laughter) Clearly didn’t take. At any rate she—after I finished the
consult, she says, “Why don’t you call me sometime?” Well, I’ve never—
when you do that, you have to ask me specifically. I’m so naïve, and up in
here, I don’t see things. I had no “gay-dar.” Absolutely none, zero, zip. I still
don’t have a whole lot of it, but she had good “gay-dar,” which was good for
us in our relationship because that’s really how we made friends. She was
able to sense and understand, and after we did get together, we started dating
and things like this. We met a couple there in Muskogee, and they told us
about a bar here in Tulsa. It was over on Memorial, and “Let’s just go up.” I
can remember that we, the four of us, came up one Saturday, drove up from
Muskogee and walked into that bar, and I thought, “Oh my god, this is
wonderful.”

Belmonte

What was the name of this bar?

Gearin

Oh my lord, you would ask me. I know I know it just as well, and everybody
will know it…The Club. Just The Club: that was it, The Club. Jody and
Muriel did—they were a great couple. We became pretty regular customers.
(Laughs) You know, every weekend, we’d come up, and, you know, pretty
much every weekend, met a group of women and started socializing. Then I
had an opportunity to move up here in ’78 because we were going to open a
clinic. We knew by that time that we were going to open a clinic here in
Tulsa. I had made some really good friends, a couple of guys that we met—
they were really—one of them was really quite closeted. He worked at
American Airlines, so that was still, you know, early ’70s, late ’70s, early
’80s. He was not inclined to be too out at that particular time, and so we met

14

�these two guys and we just had a great time. Jan was from Amsterdam, and
we just had a—we were just kind of soulmates, the four of us.
We always had a really good time in doing things, and so the house next
door to them came up for sale. Even though I knew we were going to move
up here eventually, I didn’t really anticipate that it would be ’78, but it was
’78 when we bought the house and moved in. A year later, the clinic opened.
Seventy-nine is when the clinic in the VA opened, so I no longer had to
commute, which was much better, because that was a long commute. Once
we moved up here, then things really began to grow and stuff. Linda was
always a very social person, I mean, and very talented. She was a singer, so
she was always out in clubs and things like this. She never met strangers.
We very rapidly developed a good, close network of friends, and actually
met Dennis Neill through—who’s involved—founder, really, of TOHR,
pretty much. Met him and started doing some socializing through the Black
and White group. I don’t know if you’ve—have you heard about the Black
and White?
Belmonte

Tell me what you know about it.

Gearin

Oh, lord. That was a group of guys that decided they wanted to have fun and
have a big party every year, so they would have a black and white party.
You wore black and white. I mean, the theme was always black and white.
You knew what it was, what it was going to be. I’m trying to think—there
was quite a few of them at first. I knew several of them, and the first one we
went to was down—the first one that Linda and I went to was on—just off
of Riverside, at that club—I can’t think of the name of it—but I do believe
that was the very first year they had that. That was at like 19th and Riverside,
just right up over Riverside. It was the most wonderful time; we just had a
ball. It was just all gay people. I mean, it was just absolutely wonderful to
think that there’s this many of us, you know. It grew and grew and grew. I
mean, every year, it got bigger and bigger. I think—I’m not sure how many
years we did that, but it was quite a few years that they did that. It was the
big party of the year.

Belmonte

Was that the first time you recall being at a place with a large number of
gay people in Tulsa?

Gearin

Yes, so it was really fun. It was a lot of fun.

Belmonte

One of the things that strikes me was being in Tulsa in 2004, is it’s very easy
to tap into networks of guys here, but the women’s community is very
different. Yet, every once in a while, you’ll stumble into a party or
something, and there are two, three hundred people that you probably will
never see again. Do you recall similar experiences earlier?

15

�Gearin

You know, it was really difficult to meet a lot of women. Most of the
women we met were through The Club, which was predominantly a
women’s bar. Yeah, you know, it was like—most of the times we went to
events, we would be sometimes the only women, or there might be one other
couple. Now, at the Black and White, that was not necessarily true, and
gradually, more and more women did come. That first year, there weren’t
nearly as many women as there were men, but it’s always kind of been that
way; it’s an interesting phenomenon, I think, for here. I think today, it still
is, to some of that degree. Lots of times, we’ll go to dinner parties and things
like this and be the only women, you know. I know that these gay guys have
other gay women friends, but it’s—I don’t know, it’s just kind of a strange
situation.

Belmonte

You’ve mentioned The Club. Do you recall any other lesbian
establishments?

Gearin

That was the major—there were several other bars around, but that really
was the one that was best known for the women. It was owned by the
women and operated by them, so even though the guys would come in there,
it was pretty well known that it was primarily the women’s bar. You could
go to some of the other gay bars in town, but lots of times, if you went, there
may not be any other women there. It was pretty much the men that were in
the other bars.

Belmonte

Now, were you involved in any sort of sports networks? I know that’s always
been a good place for gay women to find one another.

Gearin

Actually not. I didn’t play sports. I really was a very good softball player,
basketball player in college, but somehow, didn’t fall into that—how I really
started meeting women outside of the bars was through TOHR. I was just
earlier talking with a friend, trying to remember exactly when that was. I
believe that I first started getting involved with TOHR about ’84, ’83,
’84…’85. How I really got involved with them—I remember doing by-laws;
I can remember all sorts of things. They developed the telephone hotline,
and John Dratz, who was an attorney here at that particular point in time,
was trying to get it going. I had helped Tulsa, the city of Tulsa, develop the
hotline here and train, and so he wanted me to work on the hotline for
TOHR. That’s—I’m not sure what year that was that we opened that, but I
think it was like ’85, maybe, or ’86. I’m not real sure. That was when the
helpline really came into play. We even had it at a bar; we had it at Zipper’s.
That’s where we were the very first few times that we took calls. (Laughter)
I’d go down to the bar and, you know, walk in and go through the bar and
go to the back office, you know. It was just amazing, it was just amazing.

Belmonte

Zipper’s sounds like it was quite the hub of gay life here for a long time. Do
you have any memories of Zipper’s?

16

�Gearin

Oh yes. It was really a great place. It was for everybody: you know, lots of
dancing, lots of good music. It was really a pretty fun place to go. As I said,
when I first was going there, I was working. You know, I was going into the
back rooms and answering the phone. It was really was a fun place. Lots of
folks would be there. We would always just be real decadent and acting out
and doing our thing and thinking, “Oh, I wonder if anybody knows what
really goes on behind these walls.” By the way, that would have been a good
name for a movie, If These Walls Could Talk. You know, we had lots of fun
with that. That was kind of interesting times, fun times.

Belmonte

You began telling us this story about what happened to Vivienne. Do you
recall instances of discrimination and harassment of women you knew or
men you knew in Tulsa in this period?

Gearin

You know, kind of by hearsay, never somebody I really knew closely. I can
remember hearing stories of somebody that lost their job or was refused
housing, you know, this kind of thing. We were—you know, I think in the
early ’80s, we were still careful. I mean, you weren’t just real free with—
you were careful with what you did. There were a lot of things that we did in
homes, lots of parties and things, dinners. I went to a lot of events that were
in people’s homes. A lot of that I think was because of safety issues; it was
more that we felt like we were—you know, could be safe and not have to
worry about walking out to our car and having the police follow you.
I can remember tales where some women and guys would have left the club
and been stopped by the police and harassed because they knew. The police
knew that it was gay bars. They knew, you know, they knew where they
were. We weren’t fooling anybody; they know where we were. I never
personally was involved in it, and none of my really good friends were ever
a part of that, but I did hear about it. I knew a couple of times there were
some beatings. Some of the guys got beat up, but they were never people
that I really knew. I may have known of them, but I didn’t know them really
personally, know them well. I was pretty fortunate in that aspect.

Belmonte

Tell me about what you remember about AIDS reaching Tulsa?

Gearin

That was horrible. I had several really good friends that died in the mid ’80s
and in the late ‘80s. I started having veterans come in at work, as well, and it
was probably the worst time of my life: to have people that you know and
love and you care about, and to watch them just very rapidly deteriorate and
die. They didn’t live; they died. It changed my whole approach to life
because I realized how precious it truly is. We don’t, any of us, have the
luxury of knowing, but those guys had the misfortune of knowing that they
weren’t going to live very long once they received their diagnosis. Most of
them had been positive, probably, for quite some time, but we didn’t really

17

�know and understand the diseases nearly as well as we do now. Those times
were really difficult, and I felt compelled to do something to help, not just
professionally but also within the community because we were losing a lot
of gay men.
How follies was born, and I was a part of that. TOHR had been real active
with that. This was 1988. I’ll never forget this. How I know this is I’m an
OU fan; I love basketball. The University of Oklahoma was in the final four
in 1988. They played the University of Kansas, in fact, in the championship
game and lost. We were at follies, which TOHR produced as a fundraiser
every year, and my lover and Ellis Wagoner, who at that time worked with
the Tulsa Tribune—there were two papers at that time—he was the
entertainment editor, and he was gay, and his lover was there. We were
there—the four of us were there, and Linda and Ellis get off on this tangent,
and they’re talking about, “You know what? We could put on a musical
variety show and raise a hell of a lot of money,” because there were like,
maybe a couple of hundred there. “We could really do this big; we could
really do this.” We know all of the musicians; we knew—they knew talent.
They started plotting all of this out.
That was actually the birth of follies review, which for ten years did a
musical variety show annually, and all the money that we made from that,
outside of our expenses, we turned over to the community to agencies such
as Tulsa Cares, RAIN, you know, anybody that was taking care of—St.
Joseph’s. We gave money to anybody that was providing any kind of health
care or any kind of benefits to people with AIDS. That was the birth of that,
and that was through—and TOHR actually sponsored us our first two years.
We did the first musical variety show in 1989 downtown at the PAC, the
Performing Arts Center. We had the small stage—one of the small stages,
John Williams, and we ran these people across and did music—it was a
musical variety show. Had it for three nights, and that was 1989. Did it
again in ’90 with TOHR, and then decided in ’93 we’d incorporate it and
just decided to do it all on our own. The next eight years, we just did it all as
our own…our own source, our own wings, [inaudible]. We gave away
almost 300,000 dollars in ten years. We raised quite a bit of money and gave
it to these little grass-roots organizations.
I was very actively involved on several boards with Shanti. I was on their
first board of directors. I did group therapy with AIDS patients, and the
community helped establish some of those groups. I was just as—I mean,
really there was days during the week that I would leave work and go do
some of this stuff, and it was like, almost a twenty-four hour kind of thing. I
was just very actively involved in doing everything that I could. Did so for
about ten years and gradually kind of started to burn out with some of them
because you just don’t have the energy. Buried a lot of friends during those
years; that was an awful time. Tremendous losses, you know, you had such a

18

�wonderful, talented group of people, and they’re no longer here. It’s really
too bad because they were in the primes of their lives. They would’ve, you
know, had AIDS not come around, been there, been here.
Belmonte

It sounds to me like Tulsa was actually pretty bold in responding to AIDS in
the early stages.

Gearin

Very. We got very well organized through the Community Service Council,
which was a United Way foundation group. Janice Nicolas and Joan Flint
were kind of the spearhead of that, and they started getting the community
together. All the organizations that were doing anything, we all started
networking and we would meet down there once a month, and we would do
planning. We would look at, “What are we having problems with? What do
we need?” but there were several organizations that—respectable, you
know, straight organizations—that were involved. It still offered, I think, for
all of us, a little bit of a hope that not everybody is discriminatory, not
everybody is going to dismiss us, that, you know, we are real people, we do
have something to contribute. It was through those efforts of those women
and some of the other—like the Visiting Nurse Association, our affiliation
there—it was, really it was a wonderful time of networking and doing
liaison work and growing and developing and, you know, meeting people
and trying to see that we had a real need here, and we had a real void, and
what could we do to plug in. It was a great time. It was a busy time, a hugely
busy time, but very successful, as well.
We had an infectious disease physician, who was very well-known in the
community, Dr. Jeff Beale and his lover, Ted Campbell, and they were
spearheading all the medical parts of it. They helped, you know. Everybody
was involved; everybody was doing things. If you weren’t doing things, you
at least went to some of the events and gave your money, you know, like
follies or some of the other things. I can remember ice cream—there was
always something going on. Interfaith AIDS Network was also around then,
and they were an even—really smaller group. It was the Quakers and some
of those folks, and they were involved, and they were doing ice cream
socials and street fairs, and you know, everybody was trying to turn a dime.
I mean, we were all trying to get money because we were wanting these
organizations to help these young men. Trying to provide them buddies,
trying to provide them support groups…we felt they were just hugely
necessary.
Catholic charities had St. Joe’s house, which was taking care of those that,
once they became so debilitated, families couldn’t take care of them, and we
could—you know, or they were abandoned. We could put them in there, and
we could help take care of them. It was a time when everybody kind of
bonded and pulled together. I think the gay community really started to see
that they could have some support with the straight community. I mean, it

19

�was like—there were some real inroads made during that time. The AIDS
crisis did a lot for other things, too. It wasn’t just the bad things; there were
also some really very good things, very positive things that came out of that.
This is just an incidental we’ll add in here. (Laughter) We’re going to
backtrack a little. There were a lot of really funny things that happened
when Linda and I used to go to The Club. They had a woman that was all
into her; her name was Suki. Suki would always kind of monitor if we came
in and came out and stuff like this. Jody usually was working behind the bar.
Mary would sometimes, as well, and they would kind of circulate. They
were the owners of the bar. One night, Linda and I were there, and it was a
big crowd. I can’t remember exactly what happened to start it all off, but as I
recall, I think a guy got pretty drunk and started getting pretty disorderly.
Jody came flying across the bar, (Laughs) nailed a guy, pushed him up to the
wall, and was holding him. Well, everybody is jumping up, and it’s like—
everybody is now going to—when you know that something is happening,
like a fight or something like this—it was the closest I ever came to being in
a fight. It was like, everybody just wanted to, just gravitate. I’m up and out
of the table, and the only thing I was really going to do was just to try and
prevent other people from getting involved because Jody really had the
situation under control, and the guy wasn’t really trying to fight her once he
realized what was going on.
I don’t think he ever expected that Jody was going to do that. None of us
really did, but anyway, I was just trying to keep people back and keep them
away. When I went back to the table, Linda is sitting there, looking at me,
and she says, “My god,” she says, “I thought you were going to get in a
fight!” (Laughter) I said, “Fight? No, I wasn’t going to fight. I was just
trying to make sure that Jody didn’t get into trouble because all the other
people trying to climb in top of him and get involved,” because back then,
some of those women would have really just loved to have gotten involved.
I was like, “Okay guys, Jody’s handling it. Just, you know, let’s let her.” I
mean, they really would have liked to have handled it because there was a
lot of role changes there. A lot of that was going on, that was when I was
coming out with all of this. Women that were the butch and the ones that
were the femmes.
Belmonte

So this was even in the ’80s that was still entrenched here.

Gearin

Actually, yes. That would have been the early ’80s. Probably because Tulsa
is still behind, you’ve got to remember. (Laughter) Everything gravitates
from the coasts, you know, either the West Coast or the East Coast. It takes
it a while to get to the middle part of the country.

Belmonte

Janet, you were describing a few minutes ago a rather volatile situation at a
bar in Tulsa and alluded to…

20

�Gearin

Yes. Very exciting.

Belmonte

…the existence of kind of defined butch/femme roles in the Tulsa lesbian
community. This is interesting, given that this was the early ’80s. Tell me a
little bit more about that. Was that common among the couples that you
knew?

Gearin

Oh, absolutely. When you went to the bar, it was—a lot of times, it was very
much—you knew who was butch, and you knew who was femme—couples,
you knew who were couples. I can remember Linda and I laughing and
saying, “Do we look like them?” I never did see myself as one way or the
other, but it was like when you went to the bar, it was really—it had to be
kind of clarified as to who was who. You know, I would have people say,
“Well, is that your wife?” and these kinds of things. I’m going, “Linda
[inaudible] ever going to be my wife?” (Laughs) you know, because I had
never—we didn’t know. We really were both pretty green with all of this
because I didn’t have a whole lot of experience, and she had absolutely
none. It was kind of fun because we didn’t really know how we were to
behave, or if we had to assume a certain role, or not assume a certain role, or
how we were to interact with these women.
Over a period of time, you just kind of—you don’t even look at it, you don’t
even see it, but I can remember the first few times going into the bar and
seeing women who really looked more like men than they did women and
thinking, “Wow, this is kind of interesting,” and wondering, “Should I—do I
need to do that?” You know, this sort of thing. “Or are they just going to
think we’re both femmes? What are we going to both be?” Struggling with
some of that and not really knowing, having no [inaudible] what a lot of
these women had gone through, it was kind of interesting to learn that they
were very much that way all the time. They were that way in their jobs.
I can remember my brother worked with Telex—one of my brothers—and
there were several of the women that worked at Telex. They worked on
those boards; you know, they did the computer things like that, and he knew
them. He knew these women. He knew that they were lesbians, so at that
particular time—we’ve since talked about all of this, I’ve asked him about it
in terms of—retrospectively. It was kind of interesting at that time that they
really dressed that way, they looked that way, and they had their wives, they
had their girlfriends, whatever. You were real careful. I did see some fights.
It was a whole new world to me to see women fighting, you know, across
the lines and things like this. “Oh no, that’s my woman. That’s my wife.
Leave her alone.” It was an interesting time at the bar.

21

�Belmonte

Sure. That’s fascinating because this is something other parts of the country
have been documented as disappearing. It’s starting to disappear in the
’70s.

Gearin

We probably, as I said, weren’t there. We probably weren’t there because
we’ve always been a little bit behind.

Belmonte

You mentioned that you started to get a little burnt out with the AIDS
activism.

Gearin

More burnt out, not so much with the activism, but with the follies. That was
a ten-year, a year-round job for us. Rehearsals were in my house. (Laughter)
All this sort of stuff, you can’t imagine. We made props in my house, and
you’ve seen the house on [inaudible], so thank god it was as big as it was.
We’ve had rehearsals out in the backyard by the pool, in the yard, dance
lessons—I mean, the whole nine yards. It was a rigorous undertaking
because it took a big part of the year to plan it. You had to know what you
were going to do in terms of music. You had to get the music. Then we
would have auditions and get entertainers and people across the city to help
us backstage because we had to have a lot of help backstage. It was really a
huge, huge undertaking. We did this on a shoestring budget. We would just
leave ourselves enough money at the end of the previous show—we would
just leave enough money in our budget to get started again the next year. We
were always on a shoestring, but I knew it was always going to come
through. I wore lots of hats: I sold advertisements, walked into businesses in
the city and tried to sell ads, sold tickets. We did what we had to do. It was
like ten of us that were on the board; we were a working board, and we
worked very hard. It was a year-round thing.

Belmonte

Why was follies disbanded?

Gearin

Primarily because we just burned out with it. After ten years, we did ten
years, and it was just too much. We were extremely successful; it was a
very—by the time we quit, we were really doing quite well financially with
it because we were making a lot of money. We had a patron chair; we
started doing that early on. Bob Caesar was one of our board of members,
and Bob was very—he’s an interior designer like Charles Faudree—and he
was very—knew a lot of people. When we first were getting started with
this, we wanted to try and get into the community—the straight community,
if you will, because the gay community was getting pumped out, I mean,
money-wise. They were supporting all of the AIDS things going on. We
really felt like Tulsa, as a whole, needed to know about it, and they also
needed to contribute. We needed the money; we needed their support.
There came a period in time while follies was doing this, and I believe it was
like around ’92, ’93, ’94, about those three years, that AIDS and HIV

22

�became a real popular bandwagon for you to contribute to if you were in the
straight world. We took a real big hook and advantage of that. Part of that
was Bob helped us to get chairmen—our patron chair, who would lend their
name to the event and give us their guest list. We had huge numbers of
people that we got involved and bought tickets and came to the show that
were straight. We brought in a lot of money that wasn’t being tapped into,
and that was really a good thing. That was a really good thing. During the
course of the show, I would always give some interesting statistics. I was the
announcer. I never was on stage. I was always backstairs, behind the scenes,
with the camera off the stage area. You just heard my voice, and I always
was the one that would announce the acts and introduce them and do all of
these neat little things. I would develop some kind of dialogue so that I
would give some information and history during the course of the show
about what was going on in Tulsa and nationwide and worldwide.
Belmonte

Are there any tapes of any of these shows?

Gearin

I may have some of them still around. I’m not sure if I do or not. I’ll look in
the archives and see.

Belmonte

It would be wonderful to have some of those, copies of some of those. Do
you recall, in conjunction with the work you did with AIDS, getting
opposition from the community in Tulsa?

Gearin

Yes, I got a lot of doors slammed in my face when I would go and want to
try and sell ads or something like this. People, “Oh no, I’m not supporting
that. Those men deserve what they got.” That sort of thing, I got it a few
times. Not too much, but I did get it from a few businesses and things like
that when I would try to sell advertising. When you have somebody that’s
very well-known in this community, and very powerful, and very rich, and
very wealthy, and they’re behind your show; they’re your chairperson, that’s
pretty hard to say no to. I found that I would make it clear who was our
sponsoring chair and what was going to be our patrons.
Once they found out that, then I opened a lot more doors and was really
helpful to us in getting incredible amounts of help from printing at the
program. We got our program usually printed free, Judy Rogers’ lithograph.
We had Kery Walsh, who was our designer for that. He still probably is very
active in the community. Kery was wonderful to do all of our graphic work
for our program and our layout, and we had several—we had two board
members that primarily just did nothing but work on our program and our
posters. We had some very well-known artists do posters for us: P.S.
Gordon, for one. We just had an overall response that just helped bring in
more and more people and get more and more involved. As I said, when you
have patrons that have a name for themselves, then you have a little bit more

23

�legitimacy. That helped us. It opened doors. It did open doors for us. It was
just a matter of like, after ten years, you just got [inaudible] about it.
Belmonte

Right. So the last year of follies was…

Gearin

’98.

Belmonte

Oh, so not that long ago.

Gearin

We did the first one in ’89 and did the last one in ’98.

Belmonte

How do you think the gay community in Tulsa has changed from the time
you’re describing, the years of the club, and now? You’ve recently made the
decision to be part of TOHR again.

Gearin

Back—I was an active member for, I guess, about four years, five years.
Then to come back after all this time…. I missed kind of some of the old
things, to be quite honest. It’s interesting. I know—like with TOHR, when I
first was going there and was really actively involved, we had huge
meetings. I mean, we might have a couple hundred people come to a
meeting. It was lots of folks; that’s what they were involved in. I miss kind
of that. I miss the [inaudible] of getting up, conducting the meeting, all the
things that go with that. The little subcommittees that, you know—I did bylaws one year, and I’ll never do that again; that was a terrible job for TOHR.
I do miss some of those older things that we had because it was really nice.
Now, it’s pretty much just the board and not so much the whole community
as a whole that’s involved. That was nice. That was a nice thing to do. It was
a great time.

Belmonte

I hope we can get that back.

Gearin

That would be nice. I really think it would be nice. It was very much needed
back then, and I suspect it still is probably very much needed, that people do
need to be out. I think the difference—in terms of following along with
that—the difference is that, I think, I now go out more to people’s homes,
even more so than I did back then. Years ago, I was out to the bars and
things like this quite a bit, doing things, but now, it’s like you have small
dinners with friends, maybe there’s ten of you and maybe there’s eight of
you. It’s not quite so many large functions that I go to. I still know people
that I met in the late ’70s, the early’80s, and they’re still good friends and
we still socialize and things like this. I kind of—this is one reason why I
wanted to get back with TOHR, was to get back with the [inaudible], see
how much change has there been? Sometimes when you’re in a relationship,
you don’t always see things and do things. When I was in follies, that was
year-round. Even though the gay community was very much involved in all
of that, it was also the straight community, as well. It was like working both

24

�of them because there were people on the board that were gay, but there
were people on our board that were straight. I was not doing a lot of the
other social things that I was doing when I first got to Tulsa. I was getting
my social needs met differently, I guess you would say. It was more smallerscale in terms of homes and things like this.
Belmonte

Politically, Oklahoma obviously has a lot of work to do on gay rights issues.
What’s your sense as a long-term Tulsa resident?

Gearin

I’ve always thought that there’s a certain part of Tulsa that’s going to be the
redneck part, probably no matter what. You’re going to meet people that
have bias; they’re probably not going to change their minds. I worry less
about changing people’s minds directly; I’ve always been somebody, who, if
I can lead them there and they don’t know I’ve led them there, or I can push
them there—and I’ve done this for patients. That’s, I think, why I’m
successful as a therapist is, I let the patients talk their way through things.
Eventually, I give them little guidance here and there, and eventually they
come around to where I feel they need to be to be healthier. They would
agree with that, I’m sure. It’s the same thing in terms of the gay community.
It’s like, you know, sometimes we beat that wall and we don’t really need to
be beating it. If we just let life go, people come around. They realize that
this is a democracy. This is, you know—we all want to just be treated
equally, and that “Oh my gosh, did you know that your brother’s gay?” You
find out that you know somebody gay. Back then, we didn’t find out that
because we kept it more of a secret. Now, I think you see that people do
know somebody that’s gay or they know of somebody that’s gay, and it’s
like “Okay. Well, they’re a nice guy,” or “They’re a nice lady, it’s okay.” I
think as we’re out, and that’s the beauty, I guess, of being out, is that people
will see and understand us and know us for the people that we are.
Eventually, our sexuality is not going to be a big issue in that. We’re all
going to get there; it’s just a matter of time. It’s a process that we all have to
kind of go through. I think that’s kind of where we’re headed. I think that’s
a positive thing.
Being a little bit of along the conservative and an old hat, some of the new
things that were going on, like with the gay marriages, and I’m sitting there
going, “Am I appalled or not? How do I feel about this?” (Laughter) It’s
like, “Parts of that scare me and parts of it not scare me, but parts of that
bother me in a sense that—oh, I guess I get the people with honey, not put it
in their face.” There’s a little bit—it’s a fine line. Sometimes I really have to
put it in people’s face, but then I don’t know if I want to be the one that does
it. It’s like, “Okay, I’ll just sit back and watch it, see what’s going to
happen.” I don’t know that I could honestly be on the front part with some
of that, either. I would probably be more inclined to be—unlike Vivienne.
Vivienne’s probably out there leading all of this. I’m sure she’s probably

25

�been on the steps of San Francisco. I’m not really quite that way. I’m kind
of more of a behind the person, but I’m not going to lie to you, either. If
people ask, I generally will tell them. I’m not going to try and hide that. I’m
one of those that doesn’t talk about it a lot, it just is. As you get to know me,
you probably know that, or you’ll sense that, but we’ll talk about everything,
talk about me as a person, as a human, that comes first.
Belmonte

I think we’re going to end on that note.

Davis

Well, I have one thing I was going to throw out to see. You remember the
VA. What was the impact of the “Don’t ask, don’t tell” in that community?

Belmonte

That’s an excellent question.

Gearin

The military guys—it’s really—I’m in mental health, so everyone I work
with personally is very progressive. You’ve got to understand that they’re
not going to be the ones that think that. We’ve been working in therapy with
people who have been gay for years, so it’s not an issue. I think for other
people, we all kind of laugh at it. It’s like, you’ve got to be kidding. That
was the dumbest—I still think that was such a huge error in judgement to
even have that as part of the military. Gays have always been in the military.
They got by; they did well. They weren’t out, for the most part, although I
think, again, a lot of people probably knew that they were gay, but they
didn’t flaunt it, so they left them alone, and they didn’t—they just managed
to make it.
I’ve had too many men that were very actively gay when they were in the
military, but they were also discrete, too. It’s a line of—you have to be real
careful with it because there are some serious repercussions; you get booted
out. If you get a dishonorable discharge, that’s a terrible thing. I think most
of the guys would probably like to just see it not be there at all. It’s almost
like it was an embarrassment to have it. It probably caused more bad than it
helped. That’s usually perception of the military men that I’ve talked with. I
have a lot of straight guys that talked—they knew they were fighting next to
a gay guy, but they couldn’t care less. In Vietnam or Desert Storm or
wherever, if they were able to fire at the enemy and protect his backside, I
guarantee you they didn’t care that he was homosexual. They cared that he
was a good soldier because that’s really why they were there, was to be a
good soldier.
I guess overall, it was—I think it was—probably most of us would probably
say it was a bad thing. Again, I think it was a bad thing because originally,
Clinton wanted to get rid of it altogether. When he realized he wasn’t going
to be able to do that because he didn’t have the power to do it, then they
changed it. To be quite honest, I think it probably would have been better off
just to have left it as it was. I’ve always felt that that was—I think probably

26

�most of the people that worked with the VA or veterans probably feel the
same way. I think we’re already doing “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” I mean, when
you really think about it, isn’t that kind of what we’ve been doing all along,
to some degree in various ways? It’s always “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” I’ve had
people ask me over the years, “Well, how did your brothers find out? What
if somebody asked you?” I’m going to tell them. I figure if they ask me, then
they’re wanting to know, otherwise they wouldn’t ask me. I want to tell
them if they ask me. If they don’t ask me, I may not necessarily volunteer; it
just depends. Depend on how comfortable I am.
Belmonte

Janet, thank you so much for taking the time to talk to us this afternoon.

Gearin

You’re welcome. I’ve enjoyed it, thank you very much.

Belmonte

This completes our interview.
------- End of interview -------

Addendum – Janet added this additional information in March 2026:
Janet finished her career with the VA in January 2013. This is a brief
synopsis of her career highlights with special emphasis on her carryover of
her HIV work within the VA system.
“I am not sure of the date, but I was invited to attend a 1-day VA
Conference in Dallas Texas. That conference basically brought me into the
HIV approach about treatment and education of VA personnel across the
country. Since my area of practice within the VA was in Mental Health, I
was a bit confused as to why I was invited. The conference was led by Dr
Bopper Deyton from the VA Central Office. At the end of the 1 day event I
was asked to attend a more detailed 3-day training in Baltimore.
It was at that training event that I had been selected to be one of an HIV
Consortium that would work across the country to other VA Hospitals to
train medical and nursing staff on the care and treatment of persons with
HIV/AIDS that presented to the VA for care.
It was to be one of the most gratifying and rewarding experiences of my
career. As an aside note I was sent to Chicago for an HIV National
convention. Dr Deyton met me at the Conference Center and sent me to
sit beside his friend and mentor. I was stunned when during our
introduction to each other he noted he was Dr. Anthony Fauci. It would be
the first of several HIV meetings/Conferences that we would meet.
27

�As a “by the way” I learned that Dr Deyton learned of me through a mutual
friend…. Dr Jeff Beal!

28

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                    <text>Oklahomans for Equality
Oral History Interview
with
Jeremy Simmons
Interview Conducted by Dennis Neill
Date: January 21, 2026

Transcribed and Edited By: Dennis Neill using Reduct.Video AI,
February 26, 2026
Restrictions: Interviewee requested: N/A

Oklahomans for Equality
History Project
621 E. 4th Street
Tulsa, OK. 74120
918.743.4297
historyproject@okeq.org

1

�About Jeremy Simmons

Keywords
Jeremy Simmons, LGBTQ+, sexual orientation, HIV awareness, community
advocacy, personal identity, religious background, nonprofit management, Tulsa,
equality
Takeaways


Jeremy grew up in a conservative, religious environment.



He navigated his sexual identity amidst societal expectations.



Experiences of bullying shaped his understanding of acceptance.



He identifies as more attracted to men but has explored bisexuality.



Performance art has been a form of self-expression for him.



Community engagement has been a significant part of his life.



He has worked with various organizations for HIV awareness.



Transitioning from OKQ to HOPE was a pivotal moment in his career.



Nonprofit management presents unique challenges and opportunities.



He believes in the potential for positive change in the community.

Summary
In this interview, Jeremy Simmons shares his journey of self-discovery and advocacy
within the LGBTQ+ community. Growing up in a conservative, religious environment,
he navigated the complexities of his sexual identity while facing societal expectations
and bullying. His experiences shaped his commitment to community engagement
and HIV awareness, leading to significant roles in various organizations. Jeremy
reflects on the challenges of nonprofit management and expresses hope for the
future of the LGBTQ+ community, emphasizing the importance of continued
advocacy and support.

2

�Chapters
00:00 Jeremy Simmons Oral History Interview January 22, 2026
01:24:24 Introduction and Early Life
01:27:21 Religious Background and Identity
01:30:25 Navigating Sexual Orientation in Adolescence
01:33:35 Experiences of Bullying and Acceptance
01:36:31 Understanding Bisexuality and Self-Identification
01:39:24 Relationships and Social Circles
01:42:27 Coming Out and Community Engagement
01:45:21 Work History and Involvement with Equality Center
01:48:09 HIV Testing and Support Services
01:51:19 Challenges in Healthcare Access
01:54:15 Personal Experiences with HIV and Community Support
02:03:57 The Evolution of HIV Treatment and Public Perception
02:08:30 Community Outreach and Testing Initiatives
02:13:33 Navigating Funding Challenges in Nonprofits
02:20:23 The Impact of Government Regulations on Nonprofits
02:25:31 The Journey of Hope: From Formation to Growth
02:32:55 Reflections on Personal Growth and Community Engagement
02:40:16 Advocacy and the Changing Landscape of LGBTQ+ Rights
02:47:42 Looking Forward: Optimism for the Future

Jeremy Simmons Oral History Interview January 21, 2026
Dennis Neill: Good afternoon. It is January, the 21st, 2026, and we're in the Nancy
and Joe McDonald Rainbow Library at the Equality Center and we're having the
opportunity to interview Jeremy Simmons. And Jeremy, would you state your name
and give us some basic biographical information, like your birthday, your early
growing up experiences, a little bit of your family background that you might want to
share and your early education?
Jeremy Simmons: Sure, Jeremy Simmons, I grew up in and around Bartlesville, so
Washington County, so in the city of Bartlesville and it's, and in very small places like
around Ramona and Tulala, like so in the middle of nowhere. At one point we had a

3

�house. It was like a half a mile away from anybody, so remote for some of that. I was
born a long time ago and I'm much older now and I moved to Tulsa in 94 and that's
where I've lived here over half my life and because it's been so long and like all of
my adult life, I think of Tulsa as my home now.
Dennis Neill: And where'd you do your elementary and high school work?
Jeremy Simmons: That's a great question. I did it in different, at Caney Valley in
Bartlesville, where the two schools that I was in and Wesleyan religious school at the
beginningDennis Neill: is that the one in Bartlesville?
Jeremy Simmons: Yes
Dennis Neill: What year did you graduate from high school?
Jeremy Simmons: Sometime in the 90s, and they have 56 peopleDennis Neill: Did you go immediately on to post-secondary?
Jeremy Simmons: Not right away. I spent a little time at Tulsa Community College
trying to sort of know what I wanted to do, and then I went to the University of Tulsa
later in the 90s. I have an associate's degree in humanities from TCC and I had
worked on a sociology degree that I did not complete.
Dennis Neill: Okay, great, great, anything else that you can share with us about your
family background, like siblings or other information you want to share about?
Jeremy Simmons: So my life before I moved here was quite different and I don't
really like to dig super deep into it. Just to be honest with you. I feel comfortable
saying I grew up in extremely isolated rural areas, pretty religious background, as
you can imagine.
I did pre-k, kindergarten and first grade at the Wesleyan school, which is quite
traditional conservative. So, coming from that background, although the interesting
thing about it was kind of interesting going to the Weslyan School, I was surrounded
by people from different countries and different races and nationalities, so then going
to smaller schools and being not around that was sometimes more conservative,
honestly, being in the public schools in a small town.
Dennis Neill: Talk a little bit more about your early religious experience and how
that's evolved over time. Any intersection with how you identify from a sexual
orientation?
Jeremy Simmons: Oh, that's a great question. So for me, in the way that I grew up,
so all of my family was very religious and most of the people in my area were just
very religious. So religion just dominated everything. And at one point for many
years, next to a Southern Baptist Church, it was this like the second biggest building
in town after the school. So it makes quite an impression.
I was very Christian in a very traditional conservative way because I thought that
that was there wasn't really any thought about it. It's like when you grow up in rural
spaces a lot of times it's just like, everybody thinks that abortion is wrong and

4

�everybody thinks that homosexuality is wrong and everybody supports the troops
and it's like they're sort of a far-right cultural line that blends with the religion and you
just like 80- 90% of the people feel that way, or they pretend to.
Yeah, so when I was quite young I was actually fairly conservative, which, looking
back, it's kind of like okay, but then it's just kind of hard to integrate that old life with
who I was later.
But I also started making out with boys when I was a very young.
Dennis Neill: Do you mind sharing what age you're talking about?
Jeremy Simmons: Definitely by sixth grade, maybe by fifth grade range, roughly so.
So even though everybody was far right religious, there was same-sex stuff and
drinking. There were things that always happened. They were just very underground.
You just had to be very, very careful about them, right?
Dennis Neill: In that period, were you also trying to deal and date the opposite sex
while you were in junior high, high school? How did you kind of blend those thoughts
with your other aspects of your peers?
Jeremy Simmons: That's another really great question and it's so hard to put into
words. So, without, especially without doing like getting into psychobabble language,
but cognitive dissonance is definitely a thing. I viewed myself as heterosexual and so
I had girlfriends, but I didn't want to have sex with any of them and I did want to have
sex with men and so, but it got to a certain point. as you get older, I think it's harder
to even be gay undercover in some of those situations. I stopped doing anything with
boys by probably 14, 15, definitely 16..
I remember by the time we were all driving age for sure, , like none of us were doing
that anymore. It was considered like something that you just did as a kid and didn't
talk about it anymore. So I just thought I genuinely thought for a while that if I just
kept giving it a try, I'd meet the right girl. That's where my head was with all that.
Dennis Neill: And did you go to like the proms or the other school events like that
with…
Jeremy Simmons: Very weirdly, yeah, I know, it was like when I talk to people who
grew up, they want to talk to people my age or older.
I come across a lot of parallels, or even younger people who grew up in rural areas
still like who grew up 10, 20 years later than me. They're like: oh yeah, I mean,
you've had to have a girlfriend. That was just a part of it. So also to, I was also kind
of smaller. I wasn't super athletic. Not getting picked on meant being conservative
and being straight and doing certain things.
Dennis Neill: So did you have bullying experiences?
Jeremy Simmons: Oh sure
Dennis Neill: Over what reasons? Or what characteristics?
Jeremy Simmons: I mean sometimes I would get called a faggot or or a sissy or
whatever, something that, some type of equivalent of that. Some of that was

5

�probably more intentionally directed. And then some of it is just things that people
say that are hurtful, like, if someone's slightly effeminate or smaller framed. They're
gonna be compared to being girlish, separate from their gender identity or sexuality. I
think it's just a jab, right, it's something that could be hurtful.
And then some of it felt like more directed. I remember there was a lot of different
experiences. Sometimes a lot of kids that were like one to three years older than us
and that kind of range would try and isolate us and pick on us, and there was a one
time where some older kids may just take our clothes off and I thought something
like sexual assault was going to happen and it didn't, fortunately.
That was one of the weirder things, but that's one of those things that happens when
you get a bunch of other kids that are all supposed to be straight and hyper
conservative.
Dennis Neill: Were there any of these peers as you're growing up through high
school that were more clearly out and comfortable with their different sexual
orientations?
Jeremy Simmons: No, not so. It depends on where. Probably in Bartlesville, but I
didn't go to school there- very much, I think, and definitely not in the Weslyan school.
Like you literally couldn't be gay and be at the Weslyan school, like that's a part of
their rules. So it's like that wouldn't have been it, there wouldn't have been an option.
At that time they only had school up through sixth grade and I quit before then.
There are probably kids that that, looking back on it, seemed more effeminate or
seem more physically intimate with the same-sex. That might have been something,
but when you're young enough, that's all, that's okay. , there's a certain level like
there's a little bit of bullying. But unless it gets like, unless you get really affectionate
or something , like a little bit of that's okay. It's whenyou get into junior high kind
of…Sixth grade and up is when I think people really start having more expectations.
That was my experience anyway, and so everything started to get more codified,
going to the dances and having regular girlfriends, you are serious enough to change
exchange class rings, like there are certain rituals. It's like you needed to participate,
and it was much easier for you if you did participate in that.
So to not participate in that, even if you were straight and cisgendered and healthy,
like, even if you were able, but like even if you didn't have a lot of bullying potential, if
you removed yourself from the heterosexual norms, you definitely made yourself a
target, so you had to either be- and some kids could do it. I remember the few
people that did it- they had to have like a schtick, like they had to be the stoner with
the motorcycle or something, like they had to have something, like you could be a
black sheep in some, in some ways, but you couldn't just be like, oh, I'm just not
gonna date me, buddy, right?
Dennis Neill: Talk a little bit more about the process of when you finally decided
what your orientation was, and how do you identify now that kind of that path that
you followed in getting comfortable with how you currently identify?
Jeremy Simmons: Right after high school, I decided that I was bisexual and I
actually had sex with women, but very little and I didn't hate it. So bisexuality is
somewhat applicable to me, I feel, but it was definitely for me.

6

�It was more of a transitional phase, and I hate saying that because a lot of people
sort of pigeonhole bisexuality in general as that, and I very much don't feel that way.
There's definitely bisexuality and pansexuality and all the other things are valid for
me. I'm just very strongly attracted to other men. I had one girlfriend that was just like
you're just not that into this, you just need to be gay.
I spent two semesters briefly in Stillwater. I always forget about that in interviews and
I was not very successful at school there because I was just interested in figuring out
my sexuality and drinking, and doing whatever, so that actually I always forget that
part that played. But even though it was just a couple of semesters, it played a huge
role in my development because that's because I don't think I would have been able
to be bisexual in Bartlesville or Ramona or wherever Copan, anywhere else around
there.
I mean like none of those places would have tolerated that. At the time in the 90s, I
think a lot of people thought that that was just a bullshit thing, even amongst gay
people and straight people. I think a lot of people were like, oh, there's just two
genders and everybody's either straight or very gay. Everything seemed very bipolar
in the 90s. You were just like: I'm this or that.
Dennis Neill: Have you ever been married?
Jeremy Simmons: No.
Dennis Neill: What about any significant long-term relationships that you want to
share.
Jeremy Simmons: I dated a guy named Robert who's still saved in my phone as
bastard ex-boyfriend for a couple of years in the 90s. He's actually a very dear friend.
Once we figured out that we were supposed to be friends, everything was great. Um,
that's my longest relationship. So when you asked earlier how I identify myself, I try
not to do a lot of labels. I just I find it kind of constraining and tedious and then even
when you get, even when you pick a label, then five years from now, like the culture
and the language is going to change.
It just seems like, oh, I'm just human. But the question is very valid, because I am
much more into men than women. I feel comfortable as a male, and have always
been perceived as more male than female. I feel like it's important to state this is
where I come from, this is what I am.
But I've had fun dressing up as women. I won by comp, by by crowd vote, at an 80s
prom with the full canes. I won prom queen dressed up as Annie Lennox one year.
So it's like I'm not really a drag queen all the time, but I feel very comfortable being, I
felt comfortable being intimate with women. I feel comfortable being in women's
clothes. But I feel more comfortable as a man and more comfortable being with other
men.
Dennis Neill: Do you consider your drag experience like performance art when
you've been on stage, or have you actually been on stage?
Jeremy Simmons: Nnot in a traditional way where I would get tips, no, It's been fun,
something I've done a handful of times successfully and it was very interesting.

7

�To explain more about me to- I am a little bit of an experience junkie, so I like to fully
understand things by immersing myself in them, without doing something like going
really hardcore, then I don't feel like I've understood something. But a lot of times I'll
do something like dress up in drag.
I also was on stage for an S&amp;M ball that my friends did and it's very fun, it's very
engaging, but then I'm like: got it done, so, and I don't really know how to put that
into words when it comes to…when you talk about sexual identity, because some
people like, well, you're a sex addict and I was like absolutely not, like I haven't had
sex since before COVID. Sexual sex is very low priority for me, right, but asexuality
also doesn't feel right.
It's like I say one thing and somebody's always like: oh, so you're asexual and I'm
like: no, like I'm physically capable of having sex and I'm interested in maybe doing it
again. , probably with a guy now in your network of friends.
I have a huge network of friends. So that's one of the nice things about not dating or
not having kids: it gives you a lot of time to follow personal interests and develop
friend networks.
So, yes, I have tons of friends here and I never have enough time to keep up with all
of them, which is lovely. I have some that are much closer, but I don't know, when I
was younger it was much more important for me to identify as gay and I think
because- but I think a part of that was because I was told that that was wrong and
because it was so much harder to do that in the 90s- be openly gay, especially if you
were young and didn't have a ton of money. I think for people who have a lot of
money or people who live in certain cities, it's always been easier for anything .
A lot of that identity stuff was very important to me then, and dating was very
important to me. Then the 2000s hit, I just got less interested in it and so every now
and then I'll date and it just seems to run its course faster and it's done.
Dennis Neill: Did you immediately get acclimated to the gay and lesbian community,
like through the bars or other social activities?
Jeremy Simmons: Yeah,
Dennis Neill: And what was kind of some of your first experiences, going out and
socializing like locations?
Jeremy Simmons: Yes,in the 80s and 90s at a certain point it was okay to go out to
after-hours clubs and and whatever your age was, and then I think maybe 92 to 94
range, before I moved here, they changed the city, passed law saying that they
couldn't do that anymore. When I was a baby, like I remember- I remember going to
Icon that did after-hour stuff and I didn't have my driver's license yet, so I was
probably 15 at the oldest. And while that wasn't a gay club, it was a very gay-friendly
place. Yeah, I remember the name, but where is the location? It used to be on
Peoria, Brookside proper, close to where, I think it was in or near where Sharkey's is
right now.
Dennis Neill: Okay, so it was on that side [east] of the street?

8

�Jeremy Simmons: Yep, on the east side, definitely. Because at one time there was
also what, Concessions?
Dennis Neill: Concessions was across the street, very close there.
Jeremy Simmons: Icon was great. And it was definitely, for somebody who was
trying to figure themselves out, being in an environment like rural Washington
County, and then coming there where there were people dressed in drag, and there
was goth people, and there was ravers, and there was weird old bikers, and people
were doing drugs all over the place. And so that was a very different world. It was
very interesting. It was very fun for me.
I was very young, so I was a little too timid to get too involved with anything, but it
was definitely fun to be a fly on the wall at that time. While I didn't grow up here, I do
remember things from the 80s and earlier 90s from here, because I've always lived
near Tulsa. I remember coming out to some of those spaces that were definitely gayadjacent. And like many other men my age, around that time, I went to the Toolbox
before I was 21, and that's the bar, which is now the Eagle on 3rd. I don't remember
when, but it would have been, I don't know, before I moved here in 94.
Dennis Neill: Did you live on your own initially?
Jeremy Simmons: I had roommates for quite a while.
Dennis Neill: Gay, straight, mix, were they your roommates?
Jeremy Simmons: I mainly lived with a straight couple at first, but a lot of the crew
that I was in were kind of ambiguous. I fell in with a crew of people that were more in
the rave scene. I think that they were, and they were doing, there were tons of drugs
all the time. I remember that much. I think there was a little bit of like vague
bisexuality, but most of them were straight.
Dennis Neill: How about once you left the high school environment and went on for
post-secondary and then up to today, have you personally experienced any
discrimination and prejudice with regard to your sexual orientation or how people
perceive your sexual orientation or close friends that have experienced that?
Jeremy Simmons: Oh, sure. I've actually experienced fairly little. Well, I feel like it's
fairly little. Sometimes when I describe my life story to people who grew up in other
progressive places, they're like, Oklahoma sounds like a shithole. But I also, once I
was here, I was just like, I'm gay if you don't like it, fuck off. I made a lot of decisions
based off of being safe as a gay person. I do remember one of my first apartments
that I lived in by myself on Riverside, the guy made me put down an extra deposit
because he said that if I got sick from AIDS, it was something like that I was more of
a risk.
I was like, but I don't even have HIV. But he was like, no, you're welcome here. It's
just anybody with health problems or anybody that's risky has to put down an extra
$250 deposit, which was a lot of money at the time. And I thought that was weird. I
still think it's weird looking back on it.
I was originally an employee at the Equality Center and then Hope split off, but then
we still worked with the Equality Center forever. I was here one time when a guy

9

�came in and broke a lamp in the hallway and said he was going to something, shoot
everybody. I don't know. That would have been…It was when we were on Brookside,
and so it would have been after 95, but not a lot after 95.
Dennis Neill: Yeah, we were up in there from about 96 to about 99.
Jeremy Simmons: I was going to say maybe 97, roughly. So again, when people
ask me to do the dates, it's kind of hard because I have to pick anchor events. I don't
remember years well. So I know that it was after we'd phased out the 42nd Street
Clinic and integrated into there, and that's when we were becoming more public, as
OkEq was becoming more public about being an LGBT center.
I think that even at the beginning, even when we were doing stuff, there was an
effort to kind of have a little bit of a vague gray umbrella around a lot of the language
that we used. And then when that center started on Brookside, that just wasn't
working anymore. It's like, this is where gay people are.
Dennis Neill: So was that your first experience with TOHR, or when we had the
location there at the 41st apartment, were you ever involved in that small space that
we had with the hotline and a little community?
Jeremy Simmons: Yeah, so like I said, I think in 95 I came there for services, and
then in 96 I came back for services early and started volunteering there. I had a
traditional day-hour job, I think, at the time, and they had night clinics Mondays and
Thursdays, which I think they still do to this day. So I was volunteering on Monday or
Thursday. One of the night clinics, once a week I would come in and volunteer a few
hours.
Yeah, and to refresh my memory, so we had the space there at like 39th and
Harvard on the east side, where the HIV testing center was like at 42nd and Harvard
on the west side.
Dennis Neill: So were you volunteering there?
Jeremy Simmons: The 42nd, yeah, the clinic. So it's like, yeah, you go just past
41st and Harvard, take the right end on the west side there, go into that little clinic
next to Tulsa Cares.
We answered the gay, I think they called it the gay hotline at that time, something to
that effect. That went into the clinic because we were staffed. And so I did get a very
limited amount of training, and sometimes I would take calls for that. So it was
usually clinic calls, but the other line came in too. And honestly, I didn't even know. It
wasn't until then that I realized that the clinic was not a part, I knew that it was
separate from Tulsa Cares. It wasn't just in a separate building, but it wasn't until
then, later, I think it wasn't until 96 that I even really knew that there was an LGBT
group that was in the space.
Dennis Neill: Walk me through your early work history from the time you left college
through the early years.
Jeremy Simmons: Okay. Well, I did a lot of this and that. There wasn't a lot that was
super interesting. When I was a teenager, I worked for my grandpa. He had a garage
in Ramona, and so I did that for a while. But just surface stuff like pumping gas and

10

�bringing people parts, nothing too complicated. And then I got a job when I was, I
think, 16 or 17, which sounds crazy now, but back then everybody just did that at
Walmart in Bartlesville, and that was before Walmart became this massive sprawling
show that it is today. So I did just miscellaneous stuff.
I moved here, and I was doing Thrifty Car Rental which had their corporate
headquarters here, and I think that they've been merged into Dollar, Avis, or some
other group now, but they were a standalone car reservation place that was based in
Tulsa for a long time, and I worked the reservation center for maybe a couple of
years. And I was doing that while I was volunteering with OkEq.
Dennis Neill: Is that when they relocated what is now Legacy Towers?
Jeremy Simmons: Right, around 31st and Yale. And that was kind of interesting
because I got to talk to people from all over the world. But it ran its course too. It was
never like a permanent thing. And so then, in 96, I was volunteering with the Equality
Center, not thinking about it, and they offered me a job, which kind of surprised me. I
don't really know why.
I think so and again, I just, , I grew up in a pretty small town and I come from pretty
conservative background, and so I think people were like: you have to work and own
your own business and and make yourself successful that way, or you have to go
and work for a big company and make a lot of money. There's the concept of, I don't
know, being a social service provider, , or an educator, or something like that it just
wasn't really on my radar, which is weird because I was volunteering.
So on the one hand, it was right because I was taking my time to help for free, so I
had that in my nature. But then also I was like, oh, this isn't something people can do
for a living, right, but it offered about the same pay as I was making Thrifty and I was
like, yeah, fuck it. So it was kind of a lark, honestly, to start working at OkEq.
Dennis Neill: Who actually hired you?
Jeremy Simmons: Claudette Peterson.
Dennis Neill: She was head of the testing program?
Jeremy Simmons: Yes, right.
Dennis Neill: Who was it before then?
Jeremy Simmons: His first name was Jason, so Jason was doing the position that I
filled. I don't know who was in charge before Claudette.
Dennis Neill: I think it might have been Roger Morris.
Jeremy Simmons: Yeah, that name is not familiar to me.
Dennis Neill: Walk us through a little bit about your involvement there and then the
transition process with regard to the testing clinic, as you recall, and the staffing
changes that you recall.
Jeremy Simmons: Sure, so it was also kind of interesting because I thought,
because it's a medical job, and I thought, well, you have to be certified medically, but

11

�the state was doing finger stick testing. They were just doing a little finger stick,
taking a little bit of blood and putting on a blotter card. Didn't have to be a
phlebotomist, didn't have to be a nurse, didn't have to be anything.
They trained you how to do that and it was surprisingly easy, and so I think that a lot
of people were terrified coming in and so just making it feel normal and being nice to
people was the biggest part of the job. That was the most important thing by far, and
we had, I think, four employees at the time and that would shift quite a bit based off
of state funding. When the state contracts would change, like the positions would
come and go. It felt a little chaotic and it did for a long time, honestly, and it's a
challenge for a lot of nonprofits, even as they get bigger. If the government funding is
such a big chunk and then their priorities shift, then it's like, well, you have to be
more of a counselor now, or you have to be more medical now, or you have to do
group sessions now, and so you just kind of have to roll with whatever the grant says
or get replaced. Fortunately they were pretty good…the state and OkEq and then
later HOPE separately, were all pretty good about doing the trainings that were
necessary because a lot of them weren't that complicated. They always kept it to
where less medical or non-medical staff, non-counseling staff could do the jobs,
because it just wouldn't have been an affordable otherwise, because we always
needed a lot of free volunteers and low-paid staff or it just wouldn't have worked.
Dennis Neill: When you did the finger stick at that time, was that still the
requirement to send it off and wait two weeks.
Jeremy Simmons: Right.
Dennis Neill: What was your experience with that? Knowing folks were coming in
getting tested. Did all of them, or a majority of them, come back and the experience
you had when you were having to deliver a positive result? I mean, was there hope
at that period of time?
Jeremy Simmons: Not really. It was really really rough. It was hard getting people to
come in, but if they came in they usually came back for their results. So if they were
committed. We had something like 75- 80 percent return rate, which I always
thought, oh, that's just so, so many people aren't getting their results. But at a lot of
testing sites it was like 60 percent or less. So we actually had a good follow-up rate.
I think a part of that was just being so openly gay-friendly and non-judgmental about
drug use and sex workers and all the other things that people might get worked up
about. We did have a lot of people come back in. It was quite, I remember, being
from experiencing from the other side- like waiting for 10 to 14 days to get a result
back was felt very stressful. While protease inhibitors came out in the 90s, their use
and full understanding wasn't, wasn't in place yet. It wasn't until the early 2000s
where that started to kind of shift.
It took a little bit longer to get it fully ingrained- where we can have these long-term
undetectable status kind of thing, a different ballgame. So then there really wasn't a
lot that you could do. Getting tested really was more about hoping that you were
negative,and then if you found out that you had HIV, then it was a little bit more
about when am I going to need hospice care? How am I gonna live a fulfilling life for
20 years? It was more about okay, at a certain point this is going to catch up with
me.

12

�Dennis Neill: The folks that did test positive, did you all have a referral list of doctors
and counselors that you could provide to help them on their path?
Jeremy Simmons: Sort of. There were always people providing services here, but
not a lot, and it if you didn't have the right health insurance, it could be very difficult to
get into the right people. I remember early on there was a guy named Jeffrey BealI'm sure you remember Dr. Beal- who was like I'm gonna make a clinic that focuses
on HIV care and does a good job of it and it's gay, affirming and doesn't matter if
people do some drugs or have hep C to or any that like.
But a lot of places wouldn't take anybody with HIV. Or if they would, they wouldn't
take any other problems, like if you had hep C at the same time or if you couldn't
pass a drug test or if you didn't have good insurance or any number of things,
because it was already kind of a stretch for them to deal with HIV. So we had some
resources. They were few and far between and some of the ones that did it, like Dr.
Beal, could quickly get booked up.
So, yes, technically, there were resources, but for many people if you lived outside of
Tulsa, if you didn't have health insurance, if you didn't have disposable income, if
you had a comorbidity, you weren't really going to get care or very good care.
Dennis Neill: In addition to Dr. Beal, did you work closely with Ted, his partner, who
was providing counseling services.
Jeremy Simmons: Fortunately, most of our test results were negative. When we
would get a positive test result, people handled that wildly differently. That case
where you just felt like, wow, this is gonna be a really tough case, both for you
emotionally as well. Sure. So there are some people who like, under underneath it
all, have a have a lot of cynicism or cynicism or optimism about life, and so this was
definitely a job that taught me a lot about that.
Because some people who have really terrible circumstances already and then
we're getting HIV positive result, we're like, well, this is a hassle, we're gonna
navigate it as best we can. And then some people- it was just all they could think
about was how they were going to die. it was very clear, they were like, oh, and also
some people wouldn't go into care because then they couldn't let anybody know is
how they felt.
Even if they had health insurance and even if they lived in Tulsa and had disposable
income and didn't have a comorbidity, they might have been so closeted about their
sexuality and in some cases, even if they were openly gay and had everything going
for them, they felt like they could not let anyone know they had HIV or they would be
shunned at the bar or they might be kicked out of an apartment or lose access to a
kid or lose a job, which are things that definitely did happen to people. Not extremely
often, but regularly, so the fear of them happening was much bigger than the
actuality, but they were things that regularly occurred and so it made it made it kind
of difficult.
Trying to get people into counseling was always great. Some people would spiral
and just party and not go to the doctor and their health conditions and overall life
would get much, much worse. So not suicide by direct action, but definitely like, well,
if I have five more years, I'm just going to enjoy it.

13

�Dennis Neill: How would you compare the percent, you said, fortunately, it was
quite low on the positive side in the 90s. How does that compare with today, would
you say, the more recent pattern?
Jeremy Simmons: It's definitely shifted way down. There was a lot of things
happening. It's just, it's a very different, from a public health perspective,
communicable disease perspective, it's a very different game now. So back then,
there weren't great treatments, like you could get on AZT and maybe combine that
with something else, maybe get off and on AZT. There were different things that you
could do. And it was sort of the chemotherapy approach.
We're just like, hey, we're going to bombard your system with a bunch of toxicity
that's going to kill the HIV more than it kills your healthy tissue, but it's definitely
going to kill your healthy tissue. So you're going to get sick at a certain point if you
stay on AZT or any of these other antivirals at high doses enough to actually help
you. It was kind of a gamble. People had to just do their best with it.
Now, not only are people living longer, but their health outcomes are much better
and they're much less likely to transmit. So we had a lot of people who would get
very sick from HIV or very sick from the medications or some of both and try and
balance that back and forth. But meanwhile, they were often having a high viral load
or a moderate viral load. And so their long-term health outcomes were never going to
be great and they were highly infectious to other people.
While not everybody fully understood that at the time, enough people understood it.
You were shunned if you had HIV was often the case, but not by everyone. It didn't
bother me, because I'm in the office around it all the time. But I knew that I was not
the norm. There was so much fear among so many gay men that they might get it
too.
And even if you weren't worried about directly having sexual or blood contact with
somebody, I just think a lot of, a lot of gay men looked at other gay men as, oh, well,
they're going to get sick soon, sooner rather than later, , and they are potentially
infectious. So we have to be more careful around them.
There was, even amongst ourselves, I think there was a lot of people, there was a lot
of, I think, serosorting is a term I've heard, where it was like there were groups of HIV
positive men within gay men that were still, that would still hang out and have
community. Which is why places like we talked about earlier, like Our House, were
much more relevant at that time.
But it's such a different thing now. We would often get 5% or higher HIV rates.
Still over 90% of our test results were coming back negative pretty regularly. That
would fluctuate a little bit month to month or year to year. But oh, when you looked at
year long stretches and multi-year long stretches, it was pretty consistently under
10%, sometimes less than 5%. Now, as hope evolved and even got bigger and
started testing more people, like sometimes the positivity rate would be less than
3%, less than 2%. You see a lot less of it. And the biggest part of that is the viral load
being much more manageable means that people aren't going to accidentally give it
to other people.

14

�Dennis Neill: I know there was an effort at one point in time to really reach out to the
African American community with regard to testing. There was actually an
organization that partnered with testing to reach out to the African American
community. Were you part of that effort? Do you remember the special grants I think
that organization received?
Jeremy Simmons: I partnered with them. So there was, Derek Davis was very
involved, Donald Rose. And this is that thing about human memory. Tall guy, what
was his name?
Dennis Neill: FUSO [Friends in Unity Social Organization] was the name.
Jeremy Simmons: The interesting thing is we just always called it FUSO. They
never spelled it out, so like that was the incorporated name. And they at one point
they- Renfro was also a guy who was very active with them and I worked with [R.F.]
Renfro and then he died, which was one of the…sorry, I'm usually very nonemotional these things, but every now and then he was a very sweet person and not
that…that sounds like a shitty thing to say, like no one deserves to die from
something so painful. He was involved with this group. He was so sweet and he was
so bright and was so healthy and then, like a year, he was gone. Sorry, that's one of
the ones that's always still really hard for me to talk about.
Dennis Neill: He was not only part of that organization but a close friend as well?
Jeremy Simmons: He was a friend, yes, and I knew him a lot better than many of
the others and worked with him. It was very surreal, I think, when it came to the
clients and I knew people in real life who had HIV too. I just had enough of a wall
built up where I could still be engaged with then and care about them. I think that the
grant, the process kind of fell away. He was a guiding force behind it, Derek [Davis]
was very engaged, I think, Donald, and was as well…and I'm- I'm sorry I'm blanking
on that, still blanking on the guy. I can see his face and he's a very tall and he would
come up here once in a while.
The way I understand it, it's just a lot of those grants, but a lot of those things
fluctuate, and so sometimes too- I'm trying to say this politically correct- sometimes
the funding sources change so radically that it it it becomes apparent that either
someone doesn't know what the fuck they're doing or they're intentionally sabotaging
the programs , and it can be hard to tell, because if we're talking about stuff that can
start at the federal level and can have lots of intermediaries.
For example, when we we formed HOPE as a separate breakaway, in part because
state legislators were going after LGBT organizations and OkEq wasn't 100% doing
something right on the financials and it was something that a lot of nonprofits would
do- shell games with money, but it was also something that if someone wanted to
pull the funds, they could do it right.
While it was something that a lot of people did and it wasn't a problem, when you
live in a place like Oklahoma, when someone goes on the warpath against you, it's
just like okay. But even when we did everything we were supposed to do and
became a health organization that focused on gay services instead of a gay
organization, so we wouldn't get as much grief- the CDC cut funding to the whole
state for all HIV programs because the state was just fucking things up so much.

15

�There's a lot of at state and federal levels and I think that I don't want to speak too
much for a few. Because I knew them well and I love Renfro and I still keep up a little
bit with Derek and Donald…I don't know all of the details there- they were there and
it was great to see them being there. And when we phased out of the 42nd office, we
moved over and had two or three offices were kind of designated to the HOPE wing
or that. That's not what they called it then. They called it just something else simple
like the HIV Testing Clinic or the HIV Services or something more generic like that.
And then FUSO had a small office in the Equality Center on Brookside. Briefly.
Dennis Neill: Talk a little bit more about that transition from 1998 when it became
its own nonprofit. How did that whole process, and then when you felt like the ship
was getting righted, as far as the relationship with the funders like the state and so
on. And the various locations that you've experienced in HOPE testing.
Jeremy Simmons: So, as I mentioned, we had some state funders come to us and
said, hey, the state is going after anything that's too drug-friendly, anything that's too
gay-friendly, and they're not going to give you money next year, probably. If you stay
here, they also might audit you and they might end - was happening to an Oklahoma
City agency that got shut down right after that. So, I felt like that was pretty sage
advice.
Dennis Neill: Do you remember the name of the Oklahoma City organization? They
started something called the AIDS Support Program.
Jeremy Simmons: It was something that hadn't been around forever and then went
away. I can't remember it. And they had, because they were a part of an sort of an
LGBT organization, someone there, an employee, had promoted some kind of
material from NAMBLA, the North American Man-Boy Love Association. And that
was just like the grossest, dumbest thing,
They were very, like at their core, that group, it's kind of like when you talk to certain
people, there's like the public pitch, but at their core, they were very much about
grooming and having sex with very young, under 18 people. That was a core part of
that NAMBLA group. So it's like, you don't touch them. You don't have to listen to
their pitch too much and you kind of dig into what's like what's going on. That's what
did them in.
I don't even know that they were necessarily promoting something that would have
been child molesting oriented. They just did something with that group. At the time, I
remember having this conversation with Nancy McDonald and I was kind of against
her, but then as I looked back on it, because I wanted to do a leather S&amp;M focused
HIV group and just call it what it was. And she was like, no, that's not smart. And I
was like, well, okay. That would not have been good.
There's just certain things you can't do here or you're gonna get on somebody's
radar. That's how it was in the nineties. I think this was actually before we split away
from OkEq. I don't remember exactly. I just remember she was one of the ones and I
didn't know her very well and I always liked her and respected her, but we, she was
very, very cautious compared to what I wanted to do. In retrospect though, I get it.
It's one of those things where I was like, I'm happy to say that I would have made the
wrong decision on that call.

16

�There’s just certain things you just couldn't do without raising too many red flags and
then the next thing , and they're going to find a way. First they'll audit you and then if
you're not doing everything right, which many nonprofits weren't in the eighties and
nineties, when you really look into it… like we were on a reimbursement contract, not
a grant saying we could spend whatever. So we had to use the money and then get
reimbursed.
If you didn't do it in just the right way, if you did it and people would be like, oh well,
but we have to pay the lights and so we're gonna do this with that, then we'll catch
up and pay that. At the end of the year, would it all work out? Sure. But you can't,
when you're dealing with the Feds in general or when you're dealing with hostile
state-level people, you can't shell game with the money at all. Or you can maybe for
a year or five years or ten years, like you can for a while.
But at some point they're gonna catch you and be like, no, no, you didn't do this
exactly right according to this contract. And so now we're gonna pull all your funds
and mark you as someone who can't be funded again.
Dennis Neill: So in the current day is the HOPE deal where it's a reimbursement
type of process as opposed to….
Jeremy Simmons: as opposed to a straight grant? Yep. So that HIV money, ever
since I've been involved since 96, whether it was for anybody, like OkEq. HOPE,
Tulsa Cares, anybody, whether it's CDC-based, HRSA-based, this is what you do.
They'll sometimes make exceptions if you can deal with them directly federally. So
there are some exceptions. But most people get reimbursed through the state as an
intermediary. And the state's like, you have to do all these things. You have to show
us that you've paid for it, and then we'll reimburse you.
If you get really lucky, even if you're doing everything right, you're jumping through
all the hoops, and you're spending all the money exactly right, and going to all that
work, something like COVID will come along. They just won't pay you for five
months. Doing that work can be really tough on the people at the top trying to figure
out the money. It is challenging for everybody. It always cracks me up when people
want to start nonprofits. And they're like, well, we'll get government money. And I'm
like, no.
You have to have so much liability insurance before certain government agencies
will even want to touch you. And that's cost prohibitive to a lot of places. It's like
there's just all these big things you have to have in place. And most of them now
require annual audits. And if not annual, you will, at least every second or third year,
have a serious, deep audit. You have to have all your time ducks in a row, because
even trying to do the right thing.
We got better as we split away, we were like, OK, we're going to be more legit about
money. We still made mistakes. We got better over time. There's always gray areas.
, they can come in and be like, well, you're not separating the gloves that you bought
from the state health department money from the gloves you're buying for this. And
so now you're going to have to pay us back for these gloves, because we can't prove
by a visual check that you're the blah, blah, blah.

17

�But we're using all the free gloves you give us, and then we're spending our own
money buying other gloves on top of that. Does that not show you that we're using all
of the gloves? Anyway, any state or federal agency, if they want to cause problems
for you, they can come in and say, oh, well, you didn't do this exactly right. And
sometimes it's not even in the contract, which is the most frustrating. , when it's like,
OK, we did everything according to the contract. I'm like, well, but this is still an
expectation.
Dennis Neill: Did you say it was 96 when you first started with the testing? Do you
recall what month you started with testing?
Jeremy Simmons: I became an employee in the summer. I believe it was July 1st.
Because at that point, the state's contract, their annual calendar started something in
the summer, June 1st, July 1st, August 1st, something like that.
Dennis Neill: And was it HOPE at that point in time?
Jeremy Simmons: It was.
Dennis Neill: Can you tell us what it was and how that transitioned?
Jeremy Simmons: So when we were doing it at first, while Claudette was still here,
when we would answer the phone, I would just say it was something very generic but
plain, like HIV Testing Clinic, or something really just direct. I don't remember what it
was that we said. I don't think anybody was too uptight about it at the time. But we
weren't like, thanks for calling the Equality Center, or thanks for calling OkEq, or
thanks for calling whatever. It wasn't about branding or anything.
It was just like, you've called. Because in part, that building we were in was
separate, and it was literally only for… When the people came in for the gay hotline,
it rang on a different line. So we needed to answer that as like something, Oklahoma
gay hotline, or something. We might have used OkEq as part of that, or TOHR.
For a long time. It wasn't until it was not until probably mid-97 to late 97 that I think,
we started getting warnings that the state was gonna be auditing people that weren't
doing things right. The state was coming for gay dollars. At a certain point before we
left, we were like, okay, we need to differentiate ourselves.
To be perfectly honest, many of us that were doing the actual work were like, oh
yeah, we're gonna have to become a separate financial institution, because this thing
where- and it didn't happen all the time, but occasionally we wouldn't get paid or we
would have to sit on mileage reimbursements and we weren't making a lot of money.
And that's the one sure way to piss your employees off and be like, hey, we actually
have to do this stuff with the money instead.
So your paychecks gonna be next week, or we're gonna give you a paycheck but
you need to sit on it for eight more days, or whatever. And we started calling
ourselves HOPE right before we left, but I don't remember when.
Dennis Neill: Do you know how that name came about or who created…

18

�Jeremy Simmons: That's a good question, because and- and I looked back- when
we did a history project thing and I was like I think I incorporated us both times and Ithere's three people that incorporated HOPE.
It was originally HIV outreach, prevention education incorporated and then about a
year and a half later we changed it to health outreach, prevention, education. And I
remember much more vividly the second conversation because there was this huge
debate about whether we were going to be an HIV specific organization or not and
branch out into Hep C services and etc. At the beginning I don't recall, but I and
Christy Frisbee and Johnny Eilert's were the three people that incorporated the
organization as HIV Outreach. So I was involved.
I was like oh, yeah, that's my signature, so it is interesting what you kind of
remember and kind of don't. But I don't remember a lot of conversation about it. I
think for me at the beginning part I was like this was also the 90s, was a different
time and I was much younger and I think at the time I was like branding, shmanding,
Now I have much, I have much more appreciation for it, but at the time I was like oh,
yeah, sure, yeah, we'll call it the this.
It was like we have to keep the services going and if we don't, I think if we don't
break away, they're gonna come after OkEq, sorry, TOHR. It's hard for me to use
that name for some reason, even though I used it, and so the funny thing is
technically I was an employee of TOHR . I was paid from Tulsa Oklahomans for
Human Rights, so I saw that name all the time. It's just merged, now OkEq.
There was definitely a desperation. There was a lot of board discussion and some of
it got quite heated because a lot of people felt like no, no, no, this is just blustering,
which I don't think was true, but also I get it. It's like sure somebody, some random
people- the state- say this and they're like: have them come to the meeting. No,
that's not how it works.
They're telling us this as a favor because they like us and they want the program to
keep going, and they're seeing what's happening in Oklahoma City and it's duh, it's
like Tulsa's gonna be next. That's what a lot of times the state people do. They start
in Oklahoma City and then, if they have enough steam and need more attention or
whatever, then they're just like: oh yeah, let's go after those guys in Tulsa and
Lawton and Bartlesville, wherever else.
Once we finally agreed to split apart, we stayed at the old building for a while and
then we ended up getting another building space that was next door to Tulsa Cares
again, and that was on Admiral, just a little bit east of Harvard.
Dennis Neill: You were in the same structure?
Jeremy Simmons: Right. For many years they had their main building and then
there was a small building next door that was separated and we were there. They
originally started off the model that they had when at the 42nd and Harvard complex,
where they were like we're gonna be a home for a dozen organizations or more, so
like the Names Project had like a, or Shanti had like a little teeny, tiny office, baby
office there for a little bit. And then who else? There were other groups that had
spaces there and we were one of them. We were definitely the second largest
because of our staffing size and our funding capacities. RAIN [Regional AIDS

19

�Interfaith Network] was there for a little bit before they had their own thing. So it was
supposed to be sort of like a coalition space.
But pretty quickly, it became obvious that Tulsa Cares was getting the bulk of the
money and that HOPE was getting another big chunk of money and everybody else
was like 10% or less of what we were. The staffing and the client needs were
overwhelmingly Tulsa Cares and secondarily HOPE. Over time, everything else, a lot
of the other smaller organizations kind of merged into Tulsa Cares or finally moved
out and got their own spaces. We were there for a while.
Dennis Neill: Can you remember the street address?
Jeremy Simmons: I think it's 3540 East Admiral Street. It's the Admiral that's north.
I can see it always and there's a big church that was on the other side of the street
and the building's still there and it looks almost identical to how it looked. I'm not sure
if it's even being used right now. Blue and white. Tulsa Cares also started doing
group meals at that time. IT started kind of changing what they were a little bit, I
think.
It was still good for us to have a separate space because people were just so
terrified still of getting tested and I think they wanted like the least possible human
interaction, the most private parking lot just as possible. We were there for three
years to five years. I know that's a very broad term. I don't know exactly how long we
were there.
Then Tulsa Cares just kept growing and growing and growing and we were slowly
growing and we were definitely, so we became the last two. All the other places
weren't there anymore. And at a certain point Tulsa Cares was like, hey, we need to
have a pantry and we need to expand these food services and we just cannot do this
without a lot of extra physical space so you guys are going to need to go. And that
was kind of debated and I think my director at the time thought that it wasn't going to
happen and it ended up happening though.
Christy Fresbee and I were the only two people that were incorporators on both
times that we did the name change. We needed space, we had a lot of money for
staffing and medical services but we were having a really hard time getting money
for a facility and that's just a much, rent or owning is just its own thing. And
Community of Hope on 25th and Yale was kind enough to let us stay there for like a
year and a half to two years as a temporary transitional space.
Then we moved, 3540 might be the 31st Street location. Then we moved to 31st
Street which I think was a 3540 location. So that was on 31st a little bit east of
Harvard. And we were there for about a decade. That was our longest location. Then
we moved to a shopping center for a year and a half around 51st and Harvard and
then Hope bought its final location that it owns now that's closer to 51st and Yale.
Dennis Neill: When did you decide to leave HOPE and what are you up to now?
Jeremy Simmons: I love being at Starlight, I think, but there was a thing going
around for volunteer requests from OkEq for Pride and I thought about doing it but I
kind of enjoy taking a break from HOPE and being distanced from that and being in
some of those same spaces people just walk up and expect me to do HOPE stuff
and so I was like I mean I think I just need to be a little further away.
20

�Dennis Neill: I was thinking maybe the late 80s early 90s Starlight was a gay bar but
I could be wrong about that.
Jeremy Simmons: Forever before it was Starlight it was the Chatterbox which was
definitely not a gay bar but yes back in the 80s and 90s remember how we talked
earlier about there was this golden time for teenagers where you could be wherever
there was an after-hours thing. One of the names was The Factory. It was called
many different things and so I went there as a little teenager but you had to wait until
1:45 A.M. or 2:15 or whatever because they made money as a bar and then
reopened back up and sold non-alcoholic beverages. So yes, that was definitely...
In different incarnations, a more overtly gay space or a kind of gay friendly space.
But many of the after-hours places were…It was kind of Wild West compared to what
it's like now. There's so many liquor laws now and there's so many ABLE
Commission and police…there's just so many guidelines and so many people
watching what you do now. Back then it was just like, yeah, someone's coming out of
the bathroom with coke on their face, who cares?
There's this wild thinking of that. As a teenager, like having access to that world, it
felt like when people say it wasn't Studio 54, but when I see stuff like that for
Manhattan, I was just like I get that general vibe. I don't know how it happens, but
there's like you pay off the cops or you stay off their radar long enough or something
, and it's just like people were just like whatever, and so there was more of that at
those places. It was more of that live and let live, yeah, kind of a thing.
Even the straight people were like, whatever, everybody's doing their own thing
Dennis Neill: Switching a little bit to more kind of the broader community you're in,
your involvement, advocacy, social activities and particularly your board service with
OkEq.
Jeremy Simmons: There was a little bit of confusion and hostility when HOPE split
away from OkEq. I think it was pretty minimal and it was understandable. It's like
okay. There was a little brief period of detente, but I think within several months,
definitely within a year, there was conversations about us doing testing on Saturdays
at the Equality Center. So we pretty quickly moved past whatever that was, and and
started doing regular services here, in part to sort of help- and I've always loved it
here- but in part also to sort of seem at that bridge between HOPEand OkEq. I
became a board member and I became a committee member.
I don't know exactly what they called it, it was something like the rebranding
committee, so it was for conversations around the name change and logo, and so I
was just… I was on a committee of people, some some board members, but a lot of
other just community members, and so I did that and really loved it. It was a lot of
fun- and then got on the general board and then the executive committee of the
board. Again, I'm terrible with years, but I was on the executive committee as we
moved into this building.
Dennis Neill: So we moved in 2007.
Jeremy Simmons: Okay, I knew it was after the millennia, but I couldn't, but it's just
like. That's definitely one of those. I have a hard time anchoring it to another event.

21

�When I was on the committee, we were still in that shopping center on the 41st
Street.
Dennis Neill: You probably had what- Mark Bonney and Laura BelmonteJeremy Simmons: Yep, yep, I was much more involved with Laura because she was
on. …She was very involved. Mark, I believe, was the president, but she was on the
committee that brought me in, so I was much more involved with her, and then she
became president at a certain point, yeah, and so I always remember being much
more involved with her and, while she's on a separate board somewhat, I was more
involved with Sue Welch occasionally for other things. I still, even though I'm with on
the board, I'm still not a hundred percent sure what the different duties are between
the two, like the, the two boards, just to be honest with…the Board of Trustees. I get
it in general, but especially as we moved into the building, there was a lot of oh, we
want to do this, we want to do that, and there was just like there was….It was very
interesting trying to sort of figure all that out still is, because it's like everybody has so
many good intentions and so many opinions and so many preferences, right, and so
it's hard coordinating that.
I- and it's something that I learned a lot from here- and I was like, okay, and I actually
heard someone else say this from another LGBT group in another city- and they're
like, well, but it's different, not that other marginalized communities or individual
communities don't have problems also, but like a lot of immigrant families, a lot of
black Americans, a lot of indigenous Americans….A lot of groups are raised within
their own communities. So there are, generally speaking, a lot more acceptable
norms and like expectations of what is gonna happen, whereas we come from every
larger and smaller community. So I think it makes it even harder to get a lot of
consensus.
We have men and women and transgender people, we have all races, all regions, all
socio-economic background, , and so there's all religions. There's not like an
overarching norm, aside from maybe being an American, which is a million different
things. I think it's just, I think it's common at LGBT centers, to make it harder to get
true consensus because there's just so many different drives.
Dennis Neill: HOPE in a way, it's certainly been on the forefront of advocacy with
its education and outreach, so you've been part of that for decades. Are there other
aspects of our community where you felt like you've taken on an advocacy role or in
the future, you want to get more involved as you transition and any thoughts about
our community at large as its transitioned over the years, the good and the bad.
Jeremy Simmons: Oh, that's a really big one. I've worked with several different
groups. I worked with the American Red Cross doing HIV education and education
around blood-borne pathogens, and it was interesting working within a large
bureaucratic, large system and trying to sort of make it be not scared of HIV, to be
more open to LGBT. That's not my strength is. I enjoy doing it, but I think I need
more immediate results. So I've always dealt with probably smaller groups. I
volunteered for a while off and on with the Nightingale Theater and that was fun
before the theater was here.
There's a lot of small venues here in Tulsa, but before there was a theater here,
Nightingale is one of those few spaces where you could do some really sexually

22

�explicit material, thematically or overtly, like, and so they did like a gay spin on the
Dukes of Hazzard, stuff like that- that just there wasn't a place for it. Now we have
an option here as well, which is great. So that was fun.
I was one of the founding board members with the Equality Network, which picked
up some steam but then eventually merged with Cimarron Alliance to become
Freedom Oklahoma. I think it might have been called something else at first, but now
it's Freedom Oklahoma, I believe. I've not kept up with them super well. They invited
us to come and I spoke to some state senators about HIV laws and changing them,
and that feels good in the moment. It's interesting to do.
But also it's like four senators showed up- what I mean, and so- and they were
mostly women from progressive women from Oklahoma City who were gonna vote
with us anyway. Sometimes at the state level, it even it feels it can feel a little
daunting.
But because of that, I think that groups like OkEq and Freedom Oklahoma need to
continue the pressure because- and sometimes it's just luck, right, sometimes things
just line up in ways you can't expect, like we got law enforcement to to get on board
with decriminalizing needles to a degree, and that's not the group that I would have
thought would have supported us, but they're the groups getting stuck when they do
frisking right.
Jeremy Simmons: Sometimes something comes from a place , and so it's like, oh,
legislators will listen to them, in conjunction with other community groups and public
health people, to to maybe decriminalize this. So we understand it's like: no, we need
cleaner needles so that everyone, not just the people that are using, but everybodyhas fewer blood-borne pathogens that they have to worry about. So there definitely
needs to keep happening. That's harder for me to be engaged with personally.
As I've gotten older, as I've lived and been an American, America has gotten
overwhelmingly more gay-friendly and Oklahoma has not. There's pockets, in Tulsa
and Oklahoma City that are way more gay-friendly. But I just think everybody
understands that those are little isolated oases.
Dennis Neill: Now that you're kind of free from HOPE, that stability, but also that
confinement of being in that one job, do you still feel like you're anchored in Tulsa, or
are you anxious to experiment, go other places?
Jeremy Simmons: I'm open to see where the future takes me. Some friends of mine
moved to Spain recently, and they're making a big pitch for me to come to Spain with
them. Which sounds kind of ridiculous, but then also I'm like, there's certain skills like
bartending that are kind of universal. It's easier to be a bartender in places like Spain
than it is to be a phlebotomist. So, maybe. We'll see. I really like being here, though.
I love... when I came here, I just knew almost no one.
I had tons of casual acquaintances at first. And building up all these deep friendships
and seeing these nonprofits and these cool, unique little businesses thrive here, and
being able to even just support them a little bit in some way, has been really lovely. I
really love Tulsa. So, I'm very open to anything now. I don't feel... So, forever, I did
feel like... And I didn't fully understand this until I left, but I felt like I had to stay.

23

�And I don't really know why, because everybody else left a long time ago from the
90s, but I felt like I had to keep HOPE going. I personally had to make sure that
HOPE was going, which is dumb. Everybody eventually ages out. Everybody dies, if
nothing else. And then everybody gets tired. Like, when you're helping people... I
was a full-time employee for 24 years. And I loved it for a lot of that. And then,
towards the end, I didn't love it anymore.
I think sometimes when you're helping people, you have to make a choice to go do
something else that's more fun or go do something else that makes more money for
a while. I'm not sure. I'm sure there are the Mother Teresa types that can do it
indefinitely. But I'm like, I need to... so, whatever I'm doing in the future, for the latter
part of my life, I need to get paid more per hour than what I was at HOPE, or having
more fun than what I was getting at HOPE towards the end. It has to be at least one
of those two things.
Preferably both. Everybody wants that job, and that's hard to find. But I did feel very
anchored to HOPE. I was just like, we are one and the same. To the point that I'm
not sure it was super healthy, honestly.
Dennis Neill: Well, you provide us with a valuable history about HOPE, AIDS, and
your engagement. Are there any final comments you want to make as we bring the
interview to conclusion?
Jeremy Simmons: While the current federal administration is abysmal, I think this is
some dying last gasps of some outmoded thinking. And so while things feel very
dark right now, I think things are about to get much better in the next several years.
And here, and everywhere else in the United States. And I really appreciate
everybody who's been involved with HOPE, and OkEq, and all the other groups.
Tulsa Cares, Our House, all the other LGBT groups, all the other HIV and Hep C and
harm reduction groups like SHOTS. I just love that I know so many people that are
doing so much great work. And it keeps me... While I personally need a break from
it, I love getting on social media. I love showing up to the Equality Center. I love
going to a gala randomly somewhere and seeing all of the support that Tulsa still has
to give. So, I think the future's going to be great. And I appreciate y'all taking some
time with me.
And I appreciate everybody who's interested enough in this to listen to it. And just
keep reminding yourself that even though things look very... feel very heavy right
now, this is temporary. It will shift back.
Dennis Neill: Jeremy, thank you so much. This is an invaluable interview. And we
look forward to your continued advocacy in our community. Thank you very much.
Jeremy Simmons: Thank you.

24

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                    <text>Jimmy Flowers Story
Subject
Jimmy Flowers

Description
From Julie Tucker - Trainum, August 2019 - Jimmy Flowers was one of the very first members of the AIDS
Coalition in Tulsa. he was a young man when he was part of Stonewall and in his interview he talks about
Stonewall. jimmy died in the mid 2000s. he was interviewed so we could share his story at the YST support group
"Tulsa Youth Discovering Diversity."

Creator

Julie Tucker-Trainum, Youth Services of Tulsa

Date

Interview was conducted in 1999 or 2000

Original Format
VHS

Duration
1 hour 20 minutes

[00:00:00] Julie Trainum: And we're here to talk to a fellow by the name of Jimmy Flowers, and Jimmy
is 41. He told me his age, so I hope he doesn't mind me telling the tape. And all the things that you're seeing on
these tables are things that Jimmy has gathered up over the years, specifically about the gay movement. And all
of these things are very, very telling, but probably the best person that can tell is Jimmy himself. And he's been
real interested in talking with us and with the young people to let them know what he went through and the
things that he saw.
[00:00:36] Julie Trainum: So, Jimmy, how are you?
[00:00:38] Jimmy Flowers: Well, so far so good.
[00:00:40] Julie Trainum: So far so good?
[00:00:41] Jimmy Flowers: Yeah.
[00:00:41] Julie Trainum: Can you begin a little bit with your history and saying what happened with you
when you were a youngster? You can maybe talk specifically about when you first understood that you were
gay and what happened with your family.
[00:00:59] Jimmy Flowers: Well, number one, I've always known that I was gay. Number two, I was
about 11 years old, and what happened was that I was kissing a guy underneath the staircase. He was 14 and I
was 11, just kissing. And then my father, of course, he was the supervisor of the building. And I didn't realize he
was home, and he caught me underneath the staircase, kissing the guy. He dragged me by the hair and sort of
beat me, slapped me around, saying it wasn't natural, it was disgusting, it was a sin, and everything like that.
[00:01:45] Jimmy Flowers: And my mother started yelling at me and, you know. Then took me to the
school psychiatrist. This is going back to 1966.
[00:01:54] Julie Trainum: And you were about 11 at the time?
[00:01:56] Jimmy Flowers: I was about 11. I can't remember exactly every date or detail, but I was about
11, 11 and a half maybe. And what happened was that they thought at that time that if you were gay or lesbian,
if they catch you at an early age that you would become a heterosexual. And so they put me in a mental
institution for almost two and a half, three years. And in that time, they tried to come to us that we were sick,

1

�that it wasn't natural, that we were sinners of God. And they also, some of the things they did was very
disgusting.
[00:02:40] Jimmy Flowers: They forced us to be in the same room with another lesbian young woman.
We were both nude. They thought if we saw each other's body that we would be attracted to each other. But
unfortunately it didn't work that way. And then they showed us pictures of videotapes of men and women
having sex.
[00:03:04] Julie Trainum: And this is still when you were a youngster?
[00:03:08] Jimmy Flowers: Oh yes. They thought if we saw the actual lovemaking of heterosexuals
making love, intercourse, that it would change us to become heterosexuals. We were constantly pumped in our
heads that we were not gay. At that time, we didn't know the word gay. We used the word fancy because it
wasn't offensive to us. We didn't like the word homosexual. We didn't like the word homo or faggot or queer or
bull dyke or lesbians. So therefore we used the word fancy because it wasn't too offensive. Then, in this time,
they showed the male tenants, which was the guard.
[00:04:00] Jimmy Flowers: Forgive me if I get a little bit emotional because some of the things that
happened in the mental institution, you wouldn't believe unless you saw it yourself. I was given Thorazine and
child treatment to become straight. And I kept on saying I was born gay. It's a little bit hard to explain because I
like the word gay. I said I was born to be a fancy. And they brought a priest in since they thought I was on the
religious side. They brought a priest in. And the priest said to me, and I'll never forget it.
[00:04:48] Jimmy Flowers: He said, you are a sinner of God and it's wrong. It's not natural. It's against
nature. And I just kept on saying I was born this way.
[00:04:57] Jimmy Flowers: And then he slapped me, and I got a little bit angry, and I took Grant's collar
from his neck, he was a Roman Catholic priest, and I said how dare you call yourself a man of God, if you are.
That's pretty courageous for a youngster. I was about 11, 11 and a half, 12 maybe. And some gays and some
young lesbians, they thought they were safe, and they committed suicide because they could not change.
[00:05:32] Jimmy Flowers: And they made a stand up while they took a 14 year old lesbian young
woman, and laid her down while the male attendants, she wanted to shoot me, while the male attendants forced
us to watch while they were having intercourse with her. They thought by us watching, all the gay males we
lined up, and the young gay females lined up on each side. They thought that they would make us to be straight,
and they were constantly crinkling into our ears that we were sick.
[00:06:31] Jimmy Flowers: So there was a lot of reason for young gay and lesbian kids to not come out,
and to not say, and not let other people know because of the possibility that this would happen. So anyway, the
young lesbian woman, a few months later, I don't want to go into every single detail because it would take hours
and hours. The young lesbian woman, she was pregnant, and she committed suicide in her own room, and she
hung herself. And I discovered her because we were friends. They had the females on one side, and the males on
the other.
[00:07:20] Jimmy Flowers: And I was the one that found her, and I will never forget that. Then there was
a gay, we started a hunger strike in the mental institution, which was called Primory and King's Park State
Hospital. And then there was another one called King's County. And during that time, there was this gay
psychiatrist and gay therapist that was helping us getting out of the place. Of course, we had to lie and say we
were straight, and that we enjoyed having sex with women, and the women enjoyed having sex with men.
[00:08:06] Jimmy Flowers: And I promised myself, once I get out of that place, that I would never lie
again. And I haven't lied since then, and I'm not going to now, and I never will until the day I die. Let's go ahead
and cut there for a second. After I got out, it was about 1968. Did you go back to your parents? Yes, I went back
to my family. And things were still, I had to pretend that I had a girlfriend, and then went to high school. During
that time I was put away, I didn't have no school at all. And then I was kicked out of high school for trying to
start a gay movement.
[00:08:52] Jimmy Flowers: And that was back in 69, but we didn't call it a gay movement, we called it the
Pansy Movement. Now I can laugh at it, but then it was serious. Was that in Brooklyn? No, at that time we lived
in the Bronx, Bronx, New York. Then my mother and father, they found out I was still gay, they kicked me out

2

�of the house. I was about 14 and a half years old, or 14 or 14 and a half. I roamed the streets, lived from one
person to the next.
[00:09:25] Jimmy Flowers: And then there was hundreds, literally hundreds of young lesbians and young
gay men that was actually kicked out of the streets for being gay. Because their family couldn't deal with it.
And, um...
[00:09:43] Jimmy Flowers: Then there was Spanish in society, and they wanted us to be good little boys
and girls and not to kiss in public or to hold hands in public. They were using the word flaunting our gayness.
And then we were all young. There was lesbians, there was gay blacks, there was gay Puerto Ricans, there was
gay religious lesbians from all walks of life that was kicked out in the streets because of being gay.
[00:10:17] Julie Trainum: It's a real diverse crowd out there. Real diverse.
[00:10:21] Jimmy Flowers: Yes. The young gay blacks was considered a disgrace to their race if they
were gay. A lesbian woman wasn't a real woman. They used slogans like, oh, what you need is a good man. And
they used to use the word revise to the gay men that what you really need was a good woman. And we used to
sock it back to them. I said, no. What you need is a good woman, and what we need is a good man. And so one
guy, I remember one guy would say, you're not a real man. I said, how do you know? I said, did you have one?
Of course, I'm a man's man.
[00:11:10] Jimmy Flowers: And so therefore, if you haven't had a man, then you're not a man. And the
lesbians used to sock it to them on their level too. Well, you're not a real woman until you have a woman, you
know.
[00:11:24] Julie Trainum: So a lot of the young people who were kind of on the street had to make up
their own philosophy of living.
[00:11:31] Jimmy Flowers: Right.
[00:11:31] Julie Trainum: And philosophy of being gay and what that felt like.
[00:11:34] Jimmy Flowers: Right. I'm not ashamed of it. I had to do some hustling to be able to hustle,
and I was a go-go boy at the Stonewall.
[00:11:45] Julie Trainum: What does that mean, go-go boy?
[00:11:47] Jimmy Flowers: A go-go boy dancer. I should have brought my uniform, but they called me
the gay midnight cowboy. That was part of my act. I had a black cowboy hat, purple shirt with white fringes,
purple hot pants with silver sequins and cowboy boots. And of course, I was on the platform, and that's how I
made to put food in my stomach. And at that time, I had to hustle because who was going to give a 14-and-ahalf-year-old person, young person, a full-time job or housing? And a lot of young lesbians and young gays had
to do that.
[00:12:26] Jimmy Flowers: But we protected each other, and we stood in a group. And we also protected
the old ones that were taking us in, and we were not abused. We were not forced to have sex with them. As a
matter of fact, there used to be a joke about me because I felt guilty for taking money for sex. So while they
were sleeping, I used to get out and clean their apartments. So there used to be a joke going around saying, take
the redhead because you get two for the price of one. Then came the raids of the bars constantly. Now we're
getting into 69.
[00:13:13] Julie Trainum: And this is in Brooklyn?
[00:13:15] Jimmy Flowers: No, Manhattan. Greenwich Village. Then we started arguing with the police.
There were entrapments of police undercover. There were police officers undercover taking license plates,
numbers of cars that was in the neighborhood because they presumed that everybody in that section of the
neighborhood were all gay, all lesbians. They were raiding the lesbian bars constantly, and the gay bars. We
wasn't allowed to hold hands in our own bars. We wasn't allowed to sit close together, more than 12 feet.
[00:13:56] Jimmy Flowers: And plainclothes cops used to come in and make sure that we did not do these
things or slow dance together. There was also the gay rich was being blackmailed by plainclothes cops.

3

�[00:14:12] Julie Trainum: The gay, say that again.
[00:14:12] Jimmy Flowers: The gay rich.
[00:14:14] Julie Trainum: Okay.
[00:14:14] Jimmy Flowers: Because they had money.
[00:14:16] Julie Trainum: I see.
[00:14:16] Jimmy Flowers: And if they were caught in the section and the plainclothes cops caught them
in that area, they just assumed that they were automatically gay and they would call up their boss and tell him
that they were gay and they wouldn't have a job, they'd be fired.
[00:14:29] Julie Trainum: I see.
[00:14:29] Jimmy Flowers: And then at that time, there was lesbians that were beaten up, gay men that
was found in the Hudson River that was dead. With their thing cut off, found in the Hudson River. And then at
that time, we had signs on the bars that said, enter in your own grips, you may be arrested. Some lesbians was
raped by male undercover cops.
[00:14:58] Jimmy Flowers: Years later, we found out those license plates that they had, which was over
100,000 license plates they had, was going to the FBI. What license plates were those? Lesbians and gays and
people that was parked in the Greenwich Village area.
[00:15:17] Julie Trainum: Okay, so they would take that information, the cars parked in the village area
and send it to the FBI? Right.
[00:15:24] Jimmy Flowers: At that time, that's what they did, and they called it a scare tactic.
[00:15:30] Julie Trainum: Scare tactic.
[00:15:31] Jimmy Flowers: Yes, to keep gays and lesbians away from getting together and uniting.
[00:15:39] Julie Trainum: Okay.
[00:15:39] Jimmy Flowers: At that time, we started having arguments with Mattachine Society.
[00:15:46] Julie Trainum: Tell us a little bit about what that organization is.
[00:15:49] Jimmy Flowers: Well, Mattachine Society started after World War II, about 1945, and they did
a lot of things. They did help out a lot of people through courts, and they helped try to get a gay rights bill
passed, a lesbian gay rights bill passed, secretly behind the scenes.
[00:16:12] Julie Trainum: Okay.
[00:16:12] Jimmy Flowers: They believed and dressed in ties and suits, and women, lesbian women, had
to wear high heels and dresses and be very conservative.
[00:16:24] Julie Trainum: What was their theory behind this dress and doing things behind the scenes?
[00:16:28] Jimmy Flowers: Well, their theory figured that not let the public, the religious groups, or the
straight community know what was going on in the world. They wanted to try to pass the bill of rights for
lesbians and gays secretly behind the scenes, behind the doors.
[00:16:49] Julie Trainum: So as to not make waves?
[00:16:51] Jimmy Flowers: Right, not to make waves, and Mattachine Society were the older people at
that time. Remember, the ones that lived on the streets, the homeless, lesbians and gays, and young gays, we
were all young, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 years of age, 19, 20, some was even 13, and the youngest was 12 and a half
years old, believe it or not. And then the older ones that was part of Mattachine, they were in their 30s, 40s, 50s,

4

�and 60s, and they used to come out at us for holding hands in public. Don't do that, the cops will get you
arrested.
[00:17:40] Julie Trainum: Okay, so that was the beginning of some of those arguments you were saying?
[00:17:43] Jimmy Flowers: Yes.
[00:17:43] Julie Trainum: So they did not like the fact that you were much more out in your appearance?
[00:17:49] Julie Trainum: Okay.
[00:17:49] Jimmy Flowers: They said you ruined everything that we were trying to accomplish, and we
turned around and we said, well, this is 1969, and you've had since 1945 to do something, and it's time for a
change, and the change is now. Well, the cops came and raided the Stonewall, and 200 of us took to the streets.
Yes, there was drag queens there, there was lesbians, there was gay blacks, gay Puerto Ricans, but we were not
all drag queens, let me just make that very clear. We were from all walks of life, all colors.
[00:18:29] Julie Trainum: Has that been something that they've tried to state over and over, that it was
just the drag queens that rioted?
[00:18:36] Jimmy Flowers: Yes.
[00:18:37] Julie Trainum: Okay.
[00:18:37] Jimmy Flowers: Even, I got to admit, even the gay press keeps on saying drag queens. It just
didn't happen like that. What has happened to be to Stonewall was incidents of the raiding of bars, being put
away for being gay, entrapments, license plates being taken, beating up of lesbians and gays, dead bodies of gay
males being found in the Hudson River, harassment, blackmail of the gay rich because they paid off the cops
because they were afraid to lose their jobs. Lesbians were being raped by plainclothes cops, beaten up, and they
were forced to fight back.
[00:19:25] Julie Trainum: So people, in a sense, have had their fill of the harassment and the hatred, so
that when that particular bar was raided...
[00:19:35] Jimmy Flowers: It wasn't just that particular bar.
[00:19:37] Julie Trainum: Was it not?
[00:19:38] Jimmy Flowers: It started... See, all the bars in that area was being raided like every weekend.
[00:19:44] Julie Trainum: Okay.
[00:19:44] Jimmy Flowers: But, the Stonewall, we're the ones that came out of the Stonewall and we said,
enough is enough, we're going to take the streets now.
[00:19:57] Julie Trainum: Okay.
[00:19:58] Jimmy Flowers: And that was the word gay. And we started using the word gay. A lot of
people, even some of the gay people themselves, don't like to use the word gay. They don't use the word
homosexual. Well, we name ourselves gay.
[00:20:13] Jimmy Flowers: Homosexuality, faggot, queer, fruit, homo, pansy, bull dyke, lesbian, all those
names were labeled on us by society. The word gay, we took as being proud. And the word lesbian, as proud as
being a lesbian woman. So then, then we start taking into the streets. And we started turning over police cars and
we started dancing in the streets and we started yelling out gay rights now. And I remember this big black guy,
about six foot four, something like that, kicked up a paddy wagon and turned it over.
[00:20:59] Jimmy Flowers: And three lesbians pulled over the paddy wagons and the best fighters, I gotta
admit, was the drag queens and the lesbians. And, but people like me too was there too. We were, I was the one
that was underneath the paddy wagon as they were pulling the gays and lesbians into the paddy wagon, I was
underneath the paddy wagon punching the cops between the legs. And then as they were going out, the lesbians,

5

�gays were running out of the paddy wagons. Jim, you were back there when I was a little girl. Well, you know,
at that time, you did what you had to do.
[00:21:41] Jimmy Flowers: And about how old were you at the time then? I was about 14 and a half years
old, 15 years old. And there were some other gay youth there as well? And that's that one thing we all had in
common. We were all young and we were all gay and lesbians. Let's stop there for just a second, okay? Yeah,
all right.
[00:22:03] Jimmy Flowers: As I was saying before, when they were dragging in the lesbians and gays, I
was underneath the paddy wagon punching below the belt of the police officers and the lesbians and gays would
run out of the paddy wagon while the cops were going out, you know? Okay, great. And then we started
marching in the streets, yelling out gay rights now and this and that. And they would throw gas bombs at us and
we had handkerchiefs we wrapped around our faces and we threw it back at the cops. And we was turning over
the paddy wagon to the police cars.
[00:22:44] Jimmy Flowers: We marched to the 10th precinct, which was the Greenwich Village Police
Station. And we marched around there, started singing We Shall Overcome. And then we started marching
towards out of the gay ghetto. And that's when everything started beginning. We started marching up 6th
Avenue. They knew that we was gonna be on 5th Avenue to St. Patrick's because see, on 5th Avenue was St.
Patrick's Cathedral and sinners of God wasn't allowed to be on 5th Avenue.
[00:23:16] Julie Trainum: Bless you.
[00:23:18] Jimmy Flowers: And so anyway, we started marching on 6th Avenue but we had a plan. And
we all ran arm to arm, black, white, young and old. Some of us, most of us was young. And we started doing the
can-can. And as we started kicking the lesbians and gays, drag queens, blacks and whites, and yes, even some
atheists and Christians, we started doing the can-can and started saying gay rights now, lesbian power now. And
as we kicked, the police officers backed away. They took one step back and then we started taking advantage of
it. Each night, the crowd grew larger.
[00:24:08] Jimmy Flowers: And as we was doing the can-can down the street of 6th Avenue, the cops,
they have never faced this situation before. They were scared to death of us. That night, the crowds grew to
about 1,000. And we started rowing. And then when we got to 45th Street, cut off on to 5th Avenue, the cops
had the barricade of police cars and the lesbians and the gay men and the drag queens and the transvestites. And
we just pushed the cars off the streets and just pushed them onto the sidewalks. And then we went right on to
5th Avenue and we started marching up.
[00:25:00] Jimmy Flowers: Then they had another barricade. And then we started marching towards St.
Patrick's. And as we was doing the kicking in the air and singing all sorts of things, and unite, we stand, fight
back now, the cops were backing up and backing up and the crowd just grew larger and larger.
[00:25:24] Jimmy Flowers: That night was 1,000 and we started holding hands and marching around St.
Patrick's Day, and we started singing We Shall Overcome, and we did it all night long. And then people started
saying that homosexuals is taking over the country. There was headlines in the newspapers and everything, it
was on the news, and then we started protesting at City Hall. The first protest at City Hall was 1970 for the gay
rights. Only 40 people showed up at that time. As the year went by, the crowd at City Hall grew larger and
larger and larger.
[00:26:17] Jimmy Flowers: The gay and lesbian community started uniting. At one point around 1973, the
politicians and the religious groups, the Orthodox Jewish community and the Catholics saying, well there's
really nothing about lesbians in the Bible, it's okay to be a lesbian. And what they were trying to do is split us
apart and to make us weak, because unity there is strength. So I say to the young ones today, don't let politicians
or anybody split y'all up because of politics, because we are in it together and there must be unity.
[00:27:06] Jimmy Flowers: Then we started marching towards politicians and we started having sit-ins
and we started having sit-ins to go into the City Hall chambers and about 100 of us or 200 of us, and we started
singing We Shall Overcome each and every time there was a lesbian gay rights hearing. And then we started
having the Lesbian Gay Parade, which was 1970. The very first one was 1970, and we marched from Greenwich
Village to Central Park, which by the way was only 9,000 people. Excellent about that.
[00:27:48] Julie Trainum: Has there been one every year then?

6

�[00:27:50] Jimmy Flowers: Yes, every one, and last year, the 25th anniversary, lesbians gays from all
over the world came. There was people from Switzerland, lesbians and gays from Russia, there was lesbians and
gays from Puerto Rico, from Cuba, there was lesbians and gays from Texas and Oklahoma, there was lesbians
and gays from Kansas City, Philadelphia, you name it, they were all there. Gays and lesbians from Alaska.
[00:28:28] Julie Trainum: How many do you think, in your opinion, were actually in attendance?
[00:28:32] Jimmy Flowers: Well, later on when you see the pictures up close. The newspaper says
100,000, but the newspapers always lie when it comes to lesbians and gays marching in the streets. I estimate
there was close to one million lesbians and gays, and parents of gays, and friends of gays, and lesbians and gays
themselves from all walks of life, from all over the world, was marching because we had three avenues.
[00:29:02] Jimmy Flowers: Excuse me, I think it's important at this point to recognize that Jimmy was
honored as one of the 15 only survivors from the original Stonewall Uprising, and he was honored this past year
during the 20th anniversary as one of those 15,... Oklahoma in that.
[00:29:25] Julie Trainum: How many Oklahomans were also in that group? Were you the only one?
[00:29:31] Jimmy Flowers: I was the only one.
[00:29:33] Julie Trainum: Well, we're proud of you. Let's go ahead at this point and...
[00:29:36] Jimmy Flowers: But I wasn't born in Oklahoma.
[00:29:38] Julie Trainum: I understand, but we have you now. We'll go ahead and stop the film for a
second so that we can get up and take a look. And what we're going to do right now is take a look at some of the
mementos that Jimmy has brought. We have an array of t-shirts here, and we're going to listen a little bit about
what each one...
[00:29:56] Julie Trainum: Where each one came from and so on and anything else that Jimmy can tell us
about it. So you want to start over there with the Lambda?
[00:30:04] Jimmy Flowers: Okay. The Lambda was the first gay t-shirt that lesbians and gays wore as a
symbol of lesbian gay power. There was a little bit of confusion about the Lambda bit because it stood for gay
males, but there was a little confusion about that too as well.
[00:30:23] Julie Trainum: Okay.
[00:30:24] Jimmy Flowers: So this was the first lesbian gay t-shirt even though there was some confusion.
This one here was about Reagan's time where two guys and we took his slogan and we said breathe my lips and
there's two guys kissing. Also we started using slogans like cruise men not missiles. Then there was the gay
independent democrats. We started registering people to vote and I have myself registered in New York City
over 10,000 lesbians and gay voters, all democrats.
[00:31:03] Julie Trainum: So you helped to get people signed up to register to vote?
[00:31:05] Jimmy Flowers: Oh yes I did.
[00:31:06] Julie Trainum: Excellent.
[00:31:07] Julie Trainum: Okay.
[00:31:08] Jimmy Flowers: This is the t-shirt of the coalition. This was the original lesbian gay flag which
I designed it and a lesbian woman made the flag.
[00:31:20] Julie Trainum: Cool.
[00:31:21] Jimmy Flowers: It was June 1st, 1976. That was the symbol, the first original lesbian gay flag.
It stands for unity. This here was the first march on Washington D.C. national wise. There was other marches
besides that. There was Madison Society had a group in 1966 marching in front of the White House, but this

7

�was the first national march on Washington with Harvey Milk's name. Then later on, this picture here of me,
1976, I had a t-shirt that said I'm a gay American. And that there came out in one of the gay newspapers.
[00:32:10] Julie Trainum: Great.
[00:32:11] Jimmy Flowers: This here, later on, there was words mixed up so we started using, we realized
that some lesbians wanted to be called lesbians and some wanted to be called gay. So to make everybody happy,
we decided to use the word gay and lesbian independent democrats.
[00:32:31] Julie Trainum: Great.
[00:32:33] Jimmy Flowers: And then here was the first picture of the first protest march at City Hall in
1970. Then comes the American Cypriot Union book around 1975. Then I got a letter from the White House,
from Jimmy Carter, from the assistants. And then around 1980, I had a discrimination case against Victor
Gonthown, DC-37 in New York, which sexual orientation was passed on AFCIO Union, which they took my
case on, which I'm very proud of that.
[00:33:18] Julie Trainum: Okay, let me just get kind of a pan shot of some of these things and a view of
all the goodies that we have.
[00:33:24] Jimmy Flowers: Well, this one, this one here was taken in 1976, I'm a gay American. This one
here with the lesbian gay flag, the original one, in front of St. Patrick's Day, saying that we are children of God
too. This one here was the first print of the original lesbian gay flag which stands for unity.
[00:33:53] Julie Trainum: I like that theme a lot. I like that theme.
[00:33:57] Jimmy Flowers: Then here's a pamphlet that we tried to pass in New York City. I was kicked
out of a restaurant for wearing a gay t-shirt and they took my case to the human rights, which I won the first gay
case in human rights back in 1978. And finally won on paper.
[00:34:26] Julie Trainum: Can you tell us a little bit about the Stonewall sash that you're wearing?
[00:34:31] Jimmy Flowers: Well, around 1979, Ed Murphy, one of the people in Stonewall, he was a door
bouncer at the Stonewall, gave all of these banners to all the Stonewall people that was there. And I've had it
since 19...
[00:34:49] Jimmy Flowers: 78 something. It was purple and gold, but now it's turning into pink and gold.
[00:35:04] Julie Trainum: Tell us a little about your hat.
[00:35:05] Jimmy Flowers: Well, my hat has got all the buttons on it about AIDS, be safe, about lesbian
and gay rights, civil rights. I'll have a talk and take it off and show you. Boycott homophobia, remember the
quilt, silent equals death, stop AIDS, fight back, act up. This is the newest one, Stonewall 25, keep on marching.
This symbol of AIDS awareness and over here it says gay rights are civil rights.
[00:35:50] Julie Trainum: I love that one. Okay, we need to go ahead and end up this portion.
[00:35:55] Jimmy Flowers: Okay.
[00:35:56] Julie Trainum: And so what I will do real quick is to, these are pictures of the 25th anniversary
of Stonewall.
[00:36:03] Jimmy Flowers: Right here.
[00:36:04] Julie Trainum: That we're taking in June of this year and some fabulous buttons.
[00:36:07] Jimmy Flowers: This one here is I Am All of Us, Harvey Milk. That was printed in 1979. This
one here was the first gay button and this was the second one, 1970 and 1970. And then all the other buttons
came afterwards. And then we even had a button, boyfriend wanted no experience necessary. Homophobia is a
social disease. Then we had this Harvey Milk riot which I will explain later what really happened on that day.

8

�And then we had the pink triangle which gays and lesbians were forced to wear during World War II as in the
prisons.
[00:36:58] Jimmy Flowers: The gay Jewish, I don't have here a button, but if you was gay and Jewish you
wore a yellow and pink star. This one here to sign to the born again Christians.
[00:37:10] Julie Trainum: Born again gay.
[00:37:11] Jimmy Flowers: Born again gay.
[00:37:12] Julie Trainum: Very nice.
[00:37:12] Jimmy Flowers: And then there's the teddy bear here with the symbol of the male symbol of
gay men. And then we have here of a cat with the lesbian symbol here on the cat. And then we had over here the
pink triangle, fight for lesbian gay liberation. And then there was Gay Teachers Unite which came out about
1972.
[00:37:38] Julie Trainum: Wow, that's great. We're going to go ahead and end up today's segment. And in
a few days we'll get back together and take another look at the remaining memorabilia and finish up Jimmy's
story. Hi Jimmy, this is December the 19th and we're back to complete hopefully our session on some of the gay
history that you're very familiar with. I think we left off beginning to talk about Stonewall 25 that happened here
just last June of 1994. Go ahead if you would and give us your view of what happened last June and what you
saw and just go from there.
[00:38:19] Jimmy Flowers: Well, number one, it was really beautiful. I found the George Segal statue was
put up in the park which was two women and two men holding an armed arm in the park.
[00:38:33] Julie Trainum: Was he the sculptor?
[00:38:34] Jimmy Flowers: He was George Segal, yeah. It went through the United States and then ended
up at Sheridan Square which is in Greenwich Village. And I was part of that. A lot of people was at that time in
1977 when they built the statues of two men and two women holding hands in the park. The Italians got upset
and the religious right got upset. Left?
[00:39:07] Julie Trainum: Right.
[00:39:07] Jimmy Flowers: Right. And they got upset all about the statues. But all there is is that two
women is holding arm to arm sitting on the park bench and two guys standing up holding each other with love.
Well, I was glad to see that because I collected over 15,000 signatures for those statues. Wow. But I wasn't the
only one. Let me put that very clear. I wasn't the only person that was doing it.
[00:39:40] Julie Trainum: When did you do this project?
[00:39:42] Jimmy Flowers: This was 1977-78.
[00:39:44] Julie Trainum: And so you now saw them in the...
[00:39:47] Jimmy Flowers: I saw them in the park at Sheridan Square which I was very proud of.
[00:39:51] Jimmy Flowers: Finally they got it there.
[00:39:54] Jimmy Flowers: Through court battles. They called it freedom of speech. When you show
affection towards the same sex. So we used the expression freedom of speech.
[00:40:06] Jimmy Flowers: Also, on the day of the parade, which was beautiful, they took up 5th Avenue,
6th Avenue, and also 1st Avenue from the United Nations building. From the United Nations building, there
was lesbians and gays from all over the world. From Japan, from China, from Russia, from Italy, from
Oklahoma, Texas, Ohio, Philadelphia, California, Boston, Connecticut, Africa. There was lesbians and gays
from Switzerland, Italy, you name it, they were there.
[00:40:51] Julie Trainum: Sounds like that was the place to get a pen pal.

9

�[00:40:53] Jimmy Flowers: It was beautiful. And the Stonewall led the whole parade, all 18 of us, that
was led from the original Stonewall veterans, they called us. I didn't know I was a veteran until the 25th. But,
also, from all over the world, over 25,000 ACT UP members marched up 5th Avenue, in front of St. Patrick's
Metro, and passed there. And they assembled there, and they started singing, We Shall Overcome. And, of
course, then they started marching again.
[00:41:31] Jimmy Flowers: On 6th Avenue, over 66,000 lesbians from all over the country, in the United
States, and parts of the other world, marched up 6th Avenue to Central Park. We arrived at the park about
approximately 11.30am. At 6.30pm, they were still coming into the park, and the parade has not ended. The
parade ended coming into the park around 9pm. So, the newspapers always lie about how many numbers there
is, especially when it comes to lesbians and gays marching. The newspaper says 100,000, but that's in the pig's
eye. It's a lie.
[00:42:24] Jimmy Flowers: So, anyway, I, X-Men, and so did a lot of lesbians and gays that was there. XMen, there was 1 million lesbians and gays. We also had straights and gays, women for gay rights, we had
parents for gay rights, we had grandmothers marching for gay rights. We had a few members from Mattachine
Society that was in it for 36 years, marched too as well. There was about 5 people, I remember, from
Mattachine, and they were carrying a sign, 36 years, of 2 women and 1 gay man. That was, as I can remember,
from Mattachine Society that was marching.
[00:43:16] Julie Trainum: So, that's 36 years of trying to fight for gay rights?
[00:43:19] Jimmy Flowers: Oh, that's for gay rights. Okay. From up to last year. Okay. But, there was
other gay movements before then. In 1920, Oscar Wilde in England, the case of Oscar Wilde, which by the way,
the gay rights bill over there was passed about 45, 40 years ago. And, of course, I can turn around to the
religious groups and tell them that see, England did not fall apart. And, the reason, one of the reasons why
Queen Elizabeth I, there was no law against lesbianism, but there was laws against gay men.
[00:44:06] Jimmy Flowers: Because Queen Elizabeth I believed that women don't do such things. So,
therefore, there was no law against being a lesbian, only against being a gay male. Because men do do those
types of things. Right. Okay. That's what they said. And, we all know that's a lie. Also, going back, now we're
going to go back to 1970, 73.
[00:44:37] Julie Trainum: Okay.
[00:44:37] Jimmy Flowers: 1970 was the Gay Activist Alliance. After we did the Stonewall, we started
realizing we must stop fighting in the streets. And, start protesting peacefully and ordinarily matter.
[00:44:48] Jimmy Flowers: We did, sometimes we had kiss-ins, holding hands, walking the streets, but by
groups. Sometimes two or three hundred would have a kiss-in on the steps of St. Patrick's or on the steps of City
Hall to show the public that here we are, we're not going to hide our affection, our love, and our tenderness to be
towards each other. Because, see, gay is not just sex, as most people think that it is. Being a lesbian or being gay
is not sex, it's the way of life, it's the way of love, it's the way you were born, it's the way you are.
[00:45:31] Jimmy Flowers: And we are human beings and children of God just as well as anybody else.
There's been Michelangelo that was gay, Jonathan and David, Einstein, and I can go down the list, which will
take hours.
[00:45:44] Julie Trainum: One of my favorite posters, have you seen it, is depicting all of the people, so
many of the people, down through history. And it's just crowded with faces, it's really nice to see.
[00:45:59] Jimmy Flowers: I love that poster.
[00:45:59] Julie Trainum: Creative, talented. Very much so.
[00:46:02] Jimmy Flowers: And also there was Jim Levin, Jim Levin was the gay lawyer who went
around mostly towards me because I always seemed to get into trouble. Mostly because of the mouth. Not that I
just stood up for what I believed in, but I got my first job in 1971 as a construction worker working on highways
cleaning. And the other guys, they had black power on their helmet, kiss me I'm Italian, kiss me I'm Italian. So
what I did on my hard hat, helmet, is put gay power on my helmet.

10

�[00:46:43] Jimmy Flowers: But that was totally a different story when it came to the union, D.C. 37,
Victor Garfield. And then they tried to make separate bathrooms. A gay men's bathroom and a gay straight
men's bathroom. And I fought that because to me that's discrimination, that's like a war fountain for whites and a
war fountain for blacks. And to me that is discrimination. So anyway, also in their locker rooms, in their lockers,
they had pictures of nude women. So what I did, to be myself, I put up a picture of a nude man on my locker
inside my locker.
[00:47:28] Jimmy Flowers: And of course that was totally a different story. At that time I had a boyfriend
I was going to study with for two years. And their wives and their girlfriends came and picked up the guys from
work and they hugged and kissed. You know, hello. So my boyfriend came up and we hugged and he kissed me.
And brother, let me tell you, hell just broke loose. So they tried to fire me. And I went to the human rights, filed
a complaint, went to D.C. 37 and filed a complaint with Victor Garfield to hit the union. The big cheese there.
[00:48:13] Jimmy Flowers: And he says, we're going too far for lesbian gay rights. I said, what do you
mean too far? We just want equal rights just like anybody else. And he says, well you're just going too far. And
I said, no we're not. So Jim Levin was my lawyer again after a couple of cases I had. Because every time I hear
or see something wrong I speak up. Then came the gay rights bill. Mostly that got me into a lot of trouble.
Because I always speak up when I see or hear something wrong. Then came 1973, I believe.
[00:48:55] Jimmy Flowers: The mental psychiatrists and therapists from all over the country came to New
York and they were having a conference. And their discussion was, what are we going to do about these
homosexuals in America? And at that time, the gay movement was just beginning to get on its high pit.
[00:49:18] Julie Trainum: So it wasn't what can we do for the gay community, it was what are we going
to do about?
[00:49:22] Jimmy Flowers: About. About, alright. About the homosexuals in America. Mostly, they were
concerned mostly of gay males. Don't ask me why, that's the way they did it. So we had a plan to have lesbians
and gays to march together outside of the conference building. Which was held on 34th Street, Madison Square
Garden.
[00:49:49] Jimmy Flowers: And we, as we were protesting outside, about five to six hundred lesbians and
gay therapists and psychiatrists came out of the closet at that time, at the conference, and the rest of the people
that were inside, the so-called straight people, the heads that were saying what we were going to do about these
homosexuals in America, that they're going too far, and that there decided, when they came out, psychiatrists
and therapists came out, which shocked the living heck out of them, they decided then and there that it was not
an illness, it was not a sickness.
[00:50:38] Jimmy Flowers: This, I believe, was back in 1973. I'm not exactly sure on the exact date, but
it's about there. So mental illness is not social disease or mental disease or mental order or anything like that,
what they thought in the old days. And we're surely not sinners of God, we're children of God as well as
anybody else. And also, and then we started protesting the city council people. The first one was 1970, with 30
people. Each year, the crowd grew bigger and bigger.
[00:51:21] Julie Trainum: What types of issues did you bring before the council?
[00:51:23] Jimmy Flowers: Equal rights in housing, jobs, unemployment, public accommodations, and we
tried to put in marriages, lesbian and gay marriages, but that didn't go through. But we got jobs, housing, public
accommodations in those orders.
[00:51:44] Julie Trainum: How long did that take? That took from 1970 to 1986.
[00:51:46] Jimmy Flowers: And that's in New York City?
[00:51:53] Julie Trainum: That's in New York City.
[00:51:55] Jimmy Flowers: And each year, the protests marched because we kept on insisting. So every
six months, we were at City Hall protesting, and each time, the crowd grew larger and larger and larger. In 1986,
we started registering, around 1980, we started registering lesbians and gays. We went to the bars, we went to
the bathhouses, we went to the backroom bars, we went to the piers, we went wherever lesbians and gays went,
we went there.

11

�[00:52:27] Julie Trainum: Registering at the bar?
[00:52:29] Jimmy Flowers: Yes. And I, myself, registered over 10,000 lesbians and gays through the bars,
through the backrooms, through the lesbian bars. And by the way, I was the first gay male to enter a lesbian and
gay bar. Because at that time, lesbians wanted to keep to themselves because a lot of straight guys used to come
in and harass them all the time, and it was a lot of trouble.
[00:52:57] Jimmy Flowers: So Betty Santora, Eleanor Cooper, they were part of the group, and they said,
Look, he's here trying to get signatures and register people to vote, and he's here for your cause as well as for
ours. We're supposed to be together and be united. So I was the first male that ever went to a lesbian bar.
[00:53:18] Julie Trainum: How'd that feel?
[00:53:19] Jimmy Flowers: I felt terrific. You know, most likely, I got along with lesbians better than I
did with gay males. I don't know why, but it just happens. There was a joke going around about me, that I was a
lesbian trapped in a gay man's body.
[00:53:37] Julie Trainum: Did you find that a compliment or not a compliment?
[00:53:42] Jimmy Flowers: Well, at the time, I felt both. It was a compliment and it was an insult. But
now I think it's a compliment. Then around 19, we started protesting the White House. 1971, we started putting
paths. About 100 of us started marching to Washington on foot.
[00:54:13] Julie Trainum: You thought you would tell Mr. Nixon a thing or two?
[00:54:15] Jimmy Flowers: We thought we would, yeah.
[00:54:16] Julie Trainum: How'd that go?
[00:54:18] Jimmy Flowers: Well, as we passed each state, the crowd grew larger and larger. When we got
to Washington, D.C., finally, it took about almost a week or so. We had rain and everything, and through the sun
and everything. And people, as we were walking, with signs and paths on them, the crowd grew to 1,000.
[00:54:43] Jimmy Flowers: from 100 from New York and then as we went to Washington they grew to
1,000. But I also got to say, too, there was other protest march back in 1966 by a group of about 25 to 30
lesbians and gay males from Mattachine Society. It wasn't the first march, but it wasn't a national march. The
first national march on Washington from the country, the United States, was 1979, then again 1987, and then
1990, a few years later.
[00:55:29] Julie Trainum: Early 90s.
[00:55:30] Jimmy Flowers: Early 90s.
[00:55:31] Julie Trainum: Sure.
[00:55:33] Jimmy Flowers: The first one was sensational. We had the first march on Washington was
over 500,000 lesbians and gays. The second one was over 50,000 lesbians and gays. Then they estimate the last
one that we had was close to over a million lesbians and gays in Washington, even though the newspaper says
50,000 marched. Some said 40,000. Some of the media said 30,000, but if you saw the march yourself and you
saw the crowd, you would know that there was five times more than that.
[00:56:17] Julie Trainum: I was there. There was a million, believe me.
[00:56:19] Julie Trainum: Have you been seeing more gay young people in the marches and parades?
Jimmy, did you want to go ahead and continue with what was happening there in the late 70s and 80s?
[00:56:31] Jimmy Flowers: Well, around 1976, Anita Bryant started a campaign against lesbians and gay
rights, not only in one state in Florida, which passed an anti-gay lesbian rights bill, but then she started
campaigning throughout the country. A lot of lesbians and gays, even movie stars and actors, got upset with her
because most of her people that was working with her were gay people. That's number one. Number two, she

12

�was actually slapping people in the face that we wasn't human, we wasn't children of God, and we wasn't
Americans and everything like that.
[00:57:14] Jimmy Flowers: She was trying to get the religious groups to come out and say we are not. But
I must say, and I also was one of the people that threw a fruit pie in her face. I was upset, I was angry, and I am
American, a gay one, I'm proud of it. The Constitution of the United States says we the people, not we the
blacks, not we the straights, not we the women, not we the lesbians and gays, but we the people. And even
politicians forget what the Constitution says. And we have to remember that, that we are the people as well.
[00:58:00] Jimmy Flowers: And we are just as human beings as anybody else. Because if you cut my
wrist, I will bleed red blood just like anyone else. And I also believe that I was born gay, not made. Also, I
would like to say that to black youth of America, that be proud of being gay. Don't be ashamed. Because in the
70s, if you was gay and black, their own race said that they were a disgrace to their race because they were
black. But that's not true. Be proud to be gay, be proud to be black, and be proud to be Christian and gay or
lesbians.
[00:58:45] Jimmy Flowers: We must stand in unity and don't let politicians or religion try to split us up.
Like, for instance, at City Hall, and I also heard it here at City Hall in Oklahoma, that, oh well, there's nothing
against lesbians in the Bible. But they also forget Joan of Arc was burned to the stake because she was a lesbian.
And they also forget about that, that's the Roman Catholics. There's a lot of things that in the Bible you can also
prove.
[00:59:19] Jimmy Flowers: If you put 20 people in the room, and each one of them read the Bible, you
will find you get 20 different opinions of what the Bible says. So therefore, should we put a woman down
because she's wearing a red dress? That's in the Bible. You know, they said, thy shall not kill. But yet, the
Orthodox Jewish people, back in 1986, asked for the death penalty for being gay. Even the gay community, the
Jewish gay community, got upset. And all, at the same time, in City Hall, we all stood up.
[01:00:01] Jimmy Flowers: Black gays, Jewish gays, Christian gays, gay atheists, we all stood up and we
yelled out, Hai Hitler to them.
[01:00:10] Jimmy Flowers: That was the most insulting thing to them. They all got up, all the Orthodox
Jewish community walked up and out of City Hall. And we applauded and we yelled out hallelujah, you know.
[01:00:25] Julie Trainum: What are some of the things that you see that divide the gay community?
[01:00:30] Jimmy Flowers: Well, number one, the money bed should not divide the community. The
poor, middle class, and the rich. We must work together. Young, old, woman, man, black, and white. There
must be unity. Because in numbers there is strength. Martin Luther King said one thing, In unity we have
strength, divided we will fall. That's what Martin Luther King said. And we have to remember those words.
Because so far what I have seen, we are divided now. But we have to start getting together.
[01:01:12] Jimmy Flowers: Because sometimes I feel like I'm reliving the 70s and the 80s all over again
right here in Oklahoma. I say to the youth of America, stand up, be proud, and don't let people push you down
because you're simply a lesbian or gay or bisexual. Be proud of what you are. Because it's not just sex, it's a
wave of life, and it's a wave of human sexuality. I believe that if human sexuality is taught at an early age, you
will not have all this hang up about sex, about divorce, about women and men, about gay and lesbians and
bisexuality.
[01:02:00] Jimmy Flowers: I don't feel that there will be so much uptightness if people and children are
taught at an early age about human sexuality and let them be themselves as they grow up. But be taught the right
way. Some of us, we learned the hard way. And I must say, we may have all different ways of doing things, we
may have all different ideas, we may have all different faiths. But when we step outside and protest peacefully,
hand in hand, number one, we must be in unity and we must be in numbers. That's 65 people marching.
[01:02:50] Jimmy Flowers: Because politicians, when they look out that window, they say, oh it's only
65, because they're thinking of voters. But if they see 200, 300, 5,000, or 10,000, or even 1 million people out
there, they're going to wake up and they say, oh, voters, we better shape up or we're going to get shipped out. So
therefore, I say, register the vote when you're 18. Put your money where your mouth is and tell it like it is. Go
out there and be peaceful. March peaceful. Have kiss-ins, because there's no law against kissing of the same sex.

13

�[01:03:34] Jimmy Flowers: There is no law against people of two women holding hands, or two men
holding hands. So we can easily have kiss-ins, walk hand in hand, surrounding city hall, singing We Shall
Overcome. That would get them more anything. They would wake up. That's what we should be doing. And
also to educate society that we're here to stay and we're not going away. Lesbians and gays have been here for
the longest time. And since the time began, we're going to be here now, until the end of time.
[01:04:13] Julie Trainum: Because gay young people, and actually any young person, has a whole lot
more to face these days than we did 20 years ago or so, what types of messages would you give kids today when
they look at their health and safety?
[01:04:29] Jimmy Flowers: Well, number one, be safe. Use condoms. There's different ways of making
love without sexual intercourse. That goes for male or female. There's touching, there's feeling, there's holding,
there's caressing. There's more ways of making love without intercourse. And if you do have it, get a checkup.
Play safe. Use condoms. Or don't use condoms, but be safe with sass. And have checkups. That's what I would
say to the youth of America.
[01:05:07] Jimmy Flowers: to play safe and also tell the government there must be a cure of AIDS now.
Not tomorrow, not ten years from now, but now. Over 40 or 50 million people throughout the world have AIDS.
And every day the numbers are growing and growing. And mostly now the young heterosexual community are
getting them. And we have to reach out towards them. But just because you're HIV does not make you less of a
woman, just because you're HIV does not make you less of a man, or gay, or straight, or black, or white. Be
proud of those issues. Be proud of being black.
[01:05:59] Jimmy Flowers: Don't let no one say, well, you're HIV now. Now keep silence, because
silence to me equals death. It's time to act up peacefully and out there to march and let the politicians know that
we are here and we're not going to take it no more. Did you participate in the AIDS walk this past year? Yes, I
did. Can you tell us about that? Well, I carried the sign. I got to admit, the crowd was much bigger in Oklahoma
than last year. Last year there was only 65 and I was sort of a little bit upset about it.
[01:06:37] Jimmy Flowers: And I got a little emotional and a little angry and I went back to those groups
and I told them, shame, shame on you for not being at the walk. This year we had close to 150 or 200 people.
What I hear in Oklahoma, that was great. But I like to see next year 1,000 people out there marching. Lesbians
and gays. Straight people. Parents of gays.
[01:07:05] Jimmy Flowers: And even Christians can get AIDS. Yeah, I just wanted to mention that
because sometimes they say they're Christian and there was one guy, I won't mention no names, he was going
with a woman every day and then all of a sudden with another woman and I told him, I tried to get him condoms
and I gave him brochures and he said, well his minister told him it was a gay disease. And I said, no it is not a
gay disease. It's a human disease. And which our own government has lied about it. The blood banks have lied
about it.
[01:07:45] Jimmy Flowers: The Christians tried to put the blame on the gay, that it was God's punishment
to gay people. AIDS is man-made. Two scientists already came out and made a statement that in 1969 they
developed AIDS as German warfare. Now this was on television because I watch a lot of talk shows. There's
also, they were experiment on green monkeys. And in Africa, their food supplies is green monkeys that they eat
because of lack of food. Throughout the country, in Africa alone, 10 million plus has AIDS. Mostly
heterosexuals. In this country it hit the gay population.
[01:08:37] Jimmy Flowers: Yes, that's true at first. But in other parts of the world, Russia, Japan, China,
Switzerland, Germany, East Germany, West Germany, also Africa, all the other countries it hit the
heterosexuals. But somehow the gays get the blame for it. Don't ask me why, I don't know why. But it's time
now to come out and not to do it violently, but peacefully protest by numbers. I've been asked that question
quite a lot. And my answer is, no, I will not do anything differently.
[01:09:30] Jimmy Flowers: Because I believe very strongly that I was born gay, not made, and I also
believe in God, and I also believe in Jesus. And I believe in a God of love, not a God of hate. I also believe that
Jesus preached love in the Ten Commandments, if you looked at it. It does not say, thy shall not be a
homosexual. Which in 1976, some of the religious groups wanted to bring Eleventh Commandment on the Ten
Commandments. And I was doing the Neal O'Brien situation. Which, by the way, I was one of the people that
threw a fruit pie at the Neal O'Brien's face.

14

�[01:10:22] Jimmy Flowers: And she forgave me.
[01:10:25] Julie Trainum: How do you know she forgave you?
[01:10:27] Jimmy Flowers: Because she said it on television that she forgives me.
[01:10:30] Julie Trainum: I'm glad you brought that up again because a lot of the younger people may not
remember who Anita O'Brien is.
[01:10:35] Jimmy Flowers: Well, Anita O'Brien was the one that was doing the commercials, and she was
a singer, and a blogger.
[01:10:43] Julie Trainum: But before that, wasn't she like a Miss America or some type like that?
[01:10:47] Jimmy Flowers: She came in second place.
[01:10:49] Julie Trainum: Okay, well it makes her like this all-American type, and people are going to
maybe listen to her. And so then she went into entertainment.
[01:10:56] Jimmy Flowers: Well, I can say this. We're all Americans here. No matter what color, what
background, if you're a woman, if you're a man, young, old, black and white, of race. We're all Americans here.
But if you really want to get down to the nitty gritty, the only Americans here that's true Americans is the
American Indians. I mean, let's face it. You know, white men brought the diseases over from Europe.
[01:11:26] Jimmy Flowers: If these diseases, if they would think, if you think about this, number one, if
the government could spend $2.3 billion on one bomb that would destroy countries and life, human life, from all
walks of life. Why can't they spend, and we've got enough weapons and bombs and airplanes to destroy this
world 20 times over, if not more. It is now time to put an end to all diseases and put the money together and
have all the scientists throughout the world in this country. And I'm not just talking about AIDS. I'm talking
about diabetes.
[01:12:11] Jimmy Flowers: I'm talking about heart trouble or cancer and liver problems. If they will find
and put their money to save human life instead of destroying human life, I'll bet you, ten to one, we will be
much happier. Because in the Constitution of the United States too, it says, life, liberty, and presumed
happiness. And so far, I really haven't seen much of that. And I'm sure a lot of others haven't either.
[01:12:43] Julie Trainum: But...
[01:12:43] Julie Trainum: Okay, let me stop there for a second.
[01:12:45] Julie Trainum: Stand by, stand by. We're looking at some of the things that Jimmy brought
with him. Just kind of show real quick a few of these items. And let's go back over here to the purple outfit. Tell
us what this is and when you wore it.
[01:13:04] Jimmy Flowers: Okay. This was part of my go-go outfit. I was a go-go boy.
[01:13:09] Julie Trainum: What is that again? You're a dancer.
[01:13:09] Julie Trainum: And I also was a go-go boy at
[01:13:11] Jimmy Flowers: the Gay Activist Alliance of New York City in the firehouse of GAA and at
the Stonewall and at the Church of the Beloved Disciples, which was the first gay church in 1970 to raise money
for the Church of the Beloved Disciples.
[01:13:41] Julie Trainum: Okay.
[01:13:42] Jimmy Flowers: And also, at that time, they called them hot pants. And that was part... I had
black boots and a black cowboy hat and with the saccadone lights. That was part of my outfit.
[01:13:55] Julie Trainum: Okay, great. And let's go back over here to this T-shirt here. This is really neat.

15

�[01:14:02] Jimmy Flowers: Well, I was the marshal of the... In 1983, one of the marshals, which is one of
the grand marshals of the... You were chosen to be one of the persons that was involved in Stonewall and they
called you a grand marshal.
[01:14:28] Julie Trainum: Okay.
[01:14:29] Jimmy Flowers: And this is the T-shirt from the 25th anniversary of Stonewall, which
Stonewall would include all lesbians and gays from all over the world.
[01:14:40] Julie Trainum: Okay.
[01:14:40] Jimmy Flowers: And marched on the United Nations building to show that we want lesbian
and gay rights throughout the world.
[01:14:49] Julie Trainum: Okay.
[01:14:50] Julie Trainum: And was this the Marshall T-shirt you were studying?
[01:14:54] Julie Trainum: Yeah.
[01:14:54] Jimmy Flowers: Which was 1983.
[01:14:57] Julie Trainum: That's great. Okay.
[01:15:01] Julie Trainum: And this banner?
[01:15:02] Jimmy Flowers: That's the Stonewall banner which was given to me by Ed Murphy in late 70s.
We all got one. As you see it's turning pink, but it was purple and gold. Lavender and purple and white is the
lesbian and gay colors.
[01:15:21] Julie Trainum: Okay. Great. Let's move over here and take a look at some of these buttons you
have here.
[01:15:28] Jimmy Flowers: Well, this shows you here in New York City in 1988. This was in the 80s. The
gay 90s are coming. This here is the P flag.
[01:15:42] Jimmy Flowers: This was the symbol for gay black of Africans, America, Americans.
[01:15:50] Jimmy Flowers: This was the button on March of 87 to the White House. And this button here
was printed in 1971, gay love, it's the real thing. This here was printed in 1970, I'm a man's man. This here is
lesbian gay vote 89. And this was the first march in 1979 on Washington, National March. This is a button that
says I support lesbian gay rights. This button here is the quilt, the names of the project. And this here says fight
for lesbian gay rights, liberation. And you see the fist in the air means power to the people.
[01:16:43] Julie Trainum: You told me one time how many buttons you actually collected when you had
all of them. Do you remember how many?
[01:16:48] Jimmy Flowers: Oh, I remember how many. Yes, definitely. Before I left New York in 89, I
donated over 2,000 lesbian gay buttons to the Lesbian Gay Community Center. I also donated over 1,500
lesbian gay books that was printed from the 50s and 60s to the Lesbian Gay Community Center and the original
lesbian gay flag.
[01:17:14] Julie Trainum: What I'd like to do is just to get you to summarize, if you would, some of the
ideas that you have about what you'd like to see happen in Tulsa.
[01:17:25] Jimmy Flowers: Well, number one, I'd like to see Oklahoma wake up and smell the flowers.
And also to see more unity instead of more divided. The hungry power should stop the dividing of lesbians and
gays and young gays and older gays and black gays and lesbian black gays. What I am seeing now is what I feel
like sometimes I'm reliving the 70s and the 80s all over again. What I'd like to see is more unity among all of us.
The young, the old, the black, the white, and even some of the straight people in the community to get involved.

16

�[01:18:14] Jimmy Flowers: And also get the politicians to wake up and realize that we are here, we're not
going away, we're going to be out there marching. But I insist, let's march peacefully, no violence. We must do
it in unity. Once we step outside of the door, we must show numbers, unity, and strength. And let the politicians
and the media and the Christians know that we mean business. That we are Americans and we're human beings
and we are children of God. And we're just like anybody else.
[01:19:04] Jimmy Flowers: We come from poor to black to rich, middle class, upper class, or lower class,
and even homeless people. There are homeless people out there who has HIV and AIDS and they're not hardly
getting no help at all. There's people from all over here that we have to educate the politicians that it's not a gay
disease. It's a human disease and we must put a stop to it now. I say to the gay youth, come out, be proud, and be
careful, and play safe. Show affection, be yourselves, and start marching.
[01:19:54] Julie Trainum: Thanks, Jim.

17

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                    <text>Oklahomans for Equality
Oral History Interview
with
John Madigan
Interview Conducted by Toby Jenkins
Date: January 13, 2026
Transcribed By: Dennis Neill using Reduct.Video AI, January 25,
2026
Restrictions: Interviewee requested: N/A
Oklahomans for Equality
History Project
621 E. 4th Street
Tulsa, OK. 74120
918.743.4297
historyproject@okeq.org

1

�About John Madigan

Summary

This conversation with John Madigan explores his life journey from a small mining town
in Canada to becoming an influential figure in the LGBTQ+ community in Tulsa,
Oklahoma. John shares his experiences growing up on a farm, his transition into the oil
and gas industry, and his eventual involvement in various LGBTQ+ organizations,
including Prime Timers. He reflects on the intersection of faith and sexuality, the
challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community, and the importance of advocacy and
inclusion for older adults. John's insights provide a rich narrative of resilience,
community, and the ongoing fight for equality.
Takeaways

2



John was born in a small mining town in Canada.



He grew up on a farm with 12 siblings.



Education was a significant part of his early life.



John transitioned to the oil and gas industry in the 1960s.



He moved to Tulsa in 1990 and became involved in the local community.



John identifies as a gay man and became aware of his sexuality in adolescence.



He has maintained his Catholic faith throughout his life.

�

John has been actively involved in LGBTQ+ organizations, including Prime
Timers.



He emphasizes the importance of community and advocacy for older LGBTQ+
adults.



John believes in the need for ongoing activism to protect LGBTQ+ rights.

Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Early Life
02:47 Growing Up on the Farm
06:00 Education and Early Career
09:00 Transition to the Oil and Gas Industry
12:02 Life in Tulsa and Community Engagement
15:02 Understanding Sexual Identity
18:02 Faith and Sexuality
20:55 Involvement in LGBTQ+ Organizations
23:48 The Formation of Prime Timers
26:57 Community Building and Advocacy
30:08 Challenges and Triumphs in the LGBTQ+ Community
33:09 Reflections on Aging and Inclusion
36:01 Future of LGBTQ+ Advocacy
38:59 Final Thoughts and Legacy

John Madigan Interview
Toby Jenkins: Good afternoon. We are here at the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center in
the Joe and Nancy McDonald Rainbow Library. And we have an interview with John
Madigan. John, for archival purposes, tell us your full name, your date of birth, and your
physical address.
John Madigan: John T. Madigan. 04-24-45, XXXXX, Tulsa.

3

�Toby Jenkins: All right. So we're going to jump right in. John, where were you born?
John Madigan: Luscar, Alberta, in Canada.
Toby Jenkins: In Canada. So you're from Canada. Is that a big city, small city, little
town, hole in the wall? What is it?
John Madigan: Well, back in the early 40s, it was a mining town. Today, it's a, what do
you want to say? It's got a signpost to say where it was.
Toby Jenkins: So you were born there in Canada. And at that time, so 1945, it would
have been a mining town. What would the population have been?
John Madigan: 400 or 500 people. They're just miners.
Toby Jenkins: So it was still just a small town. And did your father work in the mine?
John Madigan: Yes. That was his military duty.
Toby Jenkins: OK. He was required to do it, or it was his assignment. Was he assigned
there for security or for just a?
John Madigan: He worked in it.
Toby Jenkins: OK. And did your mother work outside the home?
John Madigan: No.
Toby Jenkins: And how many siblings do you have?
John Madigan: 12.
Toby Jenkins: 12. And this would have been in 1945 in Canada. And your father was
able to support the family with the money he made at the mine?
John Madigan: Well, that lasted only after the war was over. Then we moved back to
Saskatchewan where he was raised to his parents' homestead.
Toby Jenkins: So they had a farm?
John Madigan: His parents moved from Ontario to Saskatchewan in 1905 when the
three provinces were divided up. And so they had to have people to populate it. So it
was just like Oklahoma. You had a homestead.
Toby Jenkins: OK. And so you kind of grew up on a farm then?
Toby Jenkins: How old were you when you moved back to Saskatchewan?

4

�John Madigan: About a year old.
Toby Jenkins: Oh, so you were just a toddler. Where are you in the birth order of 12
kids?
John Madigan: At the top.
Toby Jenkins: You're the oldest?
John Madigan: Yes.
Toby Jenkins: Well, that's incredible. There was a lot of pressure on you. Now, with 12
children, what was their religious affiliation?
John Madigan: They were Roman Catholic.
Toby Jenkins: Roman Catholic. That explains the 12 children. So you lived there, and
you lived on what would have been your grandparents' homestead. So did you farm?
John Madigan: When in 46, 47, we moved to my uncle's farm. And then he moved
back to Ontario. And so we had the farm until 2018. Everybody quit farming.
Toby Jenkins: What kind of did y'all raise? Crops, cattle, sheep, goats?
John Madigan: No goats. No, it was wheat farming. And we had cows on the side for
eating purposes.
Toby Jenkins: Was there a little school in this little town that y'all went back to?
John Madigan: Yeah, we had two. It was called Naomi. It was three miles from the
house. And then when we started to go to school, we walked or rode the horse. We
didn't get to drive the buggy until we were eight, nine years old.
Toby Jenkins: No school bus?
John Madigan: School bus? We're lucky we had a car.
Toby Jenkins: So you had to go three miles to school. Now was that a Canadian public
school, or was that a private Catholic school?
John Madigan: Public school.
Toby Jenkins: And is that where you graduated from high school?
John Madigan: No, that was my elementary. And then they closed it and they
consolidated the school district. So we had to move to town to go to school. That's when
we found out there was a school bus that worked.
5

�Toby Jenkins: And what was the town, the bigger city?
John Madigan: Ceylon
Toby Jenkins: And so they had a high school, a public high school.
John Madigan: It went from first to twelfth grade.
Toby Jenkins: Do you remember what year you graduated from high school?
John Madigan: 1964.
Toby Jenkins: 1964. How many were in your graduating class?
John Madigan: Twelve.
Toby Jenkins: Twelve. Wow. Well, that sounds so wonderful. So you were twelve years
old. You graduated from a class of twelve, my apologies. And when you finished high
school, you had all of these younger siblings. What was your plan? Do you remember
what your plan was as a senior in high school? What you kind of dreamed. Did you
dream you were going to farm? Or did you dream you were going to stay there? No.
John Madigan: No. Farming was not my forte. I was not going to make that as a career
and I didn't.
Toby Jenkins: So what did you do right after high school?
John Madigan: So after high school, then did odd jobs. And then I got a summer job
with the highway department.
John Madigan: The, what do you want to call it? District office was there in town.
Toby Jenkins: So you did that, but you still were staying at home in that area.
John Madigan: Yeah.
Toby Jenkins: And still helping with your family.
John Madigan: Yeah.
Toby Jenkins: When did you finally leave there?
John Madigan: Then that winter I got a job with the company doing oil and gas
exploration from here in Tulsa.
Toby Jenkins: In 1965?
John Madigan: It's about 67.
6

�Toby Jenkins: 67. Okay. So you're a Canadian farm boy and you went from there to
Tulsa, Oklahoma.
John Madigan: Well, I spent the winter in Canada doing exploration. And then the next
spring he moved us down here to Kansas. That was the first job in exploration down
here.
Toby Jenkins: Okay. So did you have to have a visa, a work permit?
John Madigan: Yeah, I had a work visa.
Toby Jenkins: And so that would have been in the 60s. Were you excited about coming
to work in the U.S.?
John Madigan: Yes, it was a good job.
Toby Jenkins: You were just glad to get off the farm.
John Madigan: That was something to do.
Toby Jenkins: And so you came to the middle of the country and you said you started
out in Kansas. And what exactly were you doing in the oil and gas? Were you a
roughneck?
John Madigan: No. No, it was exploration. We used gravity for our readings. It's similar
to seismic, where they drilled holes and used dynamite for their energy. We had a
machine that was gravity. It would read the pull of gravity. It changed at every spot that
we were in.
Toby Jenkins: So eventually, you said you started out in Kansas. Then eventually they
moved you to Tulsa?
John Madigan: Well, we went from Kansas. That year we went to Iowa. Then from
Iowa we went to Nevada. Spent over about a year in Nevada. And then we went to
Utah, to north of Salt Lake, Ogden. And worked out on the Salt Lake flat. And then we
moved back to Kansas, to Goodland. And then from there, went back to Williston, North
Dakota. And then we moved down to San Antonio, Texas in July, so you know what the
temperature was there, when the humidity and the temperature were the same.
Toby Jenkins: But I would have thought you would have been grateful to get out in
North Dakota in the summer.
John Madigan: That was coming summer. The fun of job, working exploration, was we
worked in the summer in the south and worked in the winter in the north.

7

�Toby Jenkins: Isn't that the way it always is? So while you're bouncing around all over
the midsection of America in the oil and gas industry, were you staying in contact with
your family? I mean, were you sending money home?
John Madigan: No.
Toby Jenkins: But you were writing them letters, talking to them.
John Madigan: Yeah.
Toby Jenkins: Your siblings, did you make trips home during the holidays?
John Madigan: Every once in a while, yeah. We had vacation time.
Toby Jenkins: When did you eventually land in Tulsa? What year would that have
been?
John Madigan: I came to Tulsa to stay in 1990, in January.
Toby Jenkins: So all of those years, would they have you visit Tulsa for companyrelated issues?
John Madigan: Yeah, the only time coming to town was just between jobs, change
equipment or something like that.
Toby Jenkins: And so what was your thoughts of Tulsa in those days when you first
were exposed to it? Because that would have been in the days we were the oil capital of
the world.
John Madigan: Yeah, that was, well, I didn't stay in very long, but it was a nice city,
liked it. That's why I come back.
Toby Jenkins: Yeah, and do you remember what the company was you worked with,
what the name of the company was?
John Madigan: They started out as E.V. McCollum &amp; Company. And then when the
owner finally, to decide, when he was in his 80s, to retire, it was called Gravimetrics.
And we had an office down on South Main, just across the street from Texaco building.
Dennis, you'd know where the Texaco building was.
Toby Jenkins: All right, so about what age was it you finally moved to Tulsa, officially,
permanently?
John Madigan: I guess that's 90, that's 35 years ago. You take that from 80, I'm about
50.

8

�Toby Jenkins: You were in your 40s, late 40s. Okay, so all of this time you're here, did
you become a U.S. citizen, or did you maintain your Canadian citizenship?
John Madigan: Yeah, I still got my Canadian citizenship. I couldn't give it up, I couldn't
afford to.
Toby Jenkins: Right, so during this time you would have been a young adult man. Did
you ever marry? Did you ever have children?
John Madigan: No.
Toby Jenkins: Okay. So you were a farm boy, and you landed this job, and it took you
all over the country. How do you identify? What is your sexual orientation?
John Madigan: Gay.
Toby Jenkins: So you consider yourself a gay man. When did you begin to be aware
that you were different than other people, different than other farm boys?
Speaker 3: 13.
Toby Jenkins: So you began to be aware of some differences when you were an
adolescent. And when you finally get out of Canada, and you're traveling with this oil
and gas company, was this an identity or sexual orientation? You became more aware
of it, more confident that that's?
John Madigan: Oh yeah, because you met different people in different towns.
Toby Jenkins: Yeah, so when you would travel to these towns, would there be places
to meet other men who were like yourself?
John Madigan: Well, there could be, but I wasn't pursuing that.
Toby Jenkins: Okay. But you knew that, by then you knew that you...
John Madigan: Oh yeah, because you knew.
Toby Jenkins: Okay, so when you came to Tulsa, did you meet any other gay people
here in Tulsa?
John Madigan: Well, that's when I, by 95, that's when I joined Prime Timers.
Toby Jenkins: Okay, but that would have been a couple of years after you had arrived.
What about when you first arrived in Tulsa?
John Madigan: Oh, yeah, we got to know a friend that, he was a Prime Timer too, and
he was working at the hotel that I was staying over in West Tulsa.
9

�Toby Jenkins: Okay, do you remember who that was? Was that just a friend, or was
that a boyfriend?
John Madigan: No, we got to know each other, and his name was Jim Young.
Toby Jenkins: Jim Young, okay, very good. Do you remember, when you first moved
here, did you go to the gay bars here in Tulsa? Did you find them?
John Madigan: I knew of them, but I didn't go to them.
Toby Jenkins: Was it because that wasn't your thing, or you were still, you weren't out
to people at work? I mean, what was the motivation for kind of segregating yourself from
the community?
John Madigan: No, it was just not that, I wasn't a bar person. I went to bars when I was
working, you know, friends and co-workers. When I was working in different towns, I
went to bars, but it was not very often.
Toby Jenkins: So, you met this guy, and did he then kind of introduce you to other gay
men, the bigger community?
John Madigan: No, the conversation got around to it, you know. And he knew people
here in Tulsa, because he moved from Eufaula up to Tulsa get away from the kinfolk.
Toby Jenkins: Now, you had never married, and you were staying in contact with your
family. Did you ever have a discussion with your family that you identified as gay, or did
they ever ask?
John Madigan: They didn't ask, and so I just kept things quiet. So, I'm sure they, you
know, we just don't speak about it. A couple of my brothers, I am sure they're gay.
Toby Jenkins: So, we all just, it's just not a conversation. Now, when you were
addressing this, was there, did you have any kind of internal turmoil? I mean, did you
feel like there was something wrong with you being this way, and so you felt like you
needed to date women, or you needed to make everybody think you were straight?
John Madigan: No, I just didn't. It was not a topic of discussion, even though I had coworkers that voiced their hetero feelings.
Toby Jenkins: Yeah, talking about women all the time.
John Madigan: And about gays. You know, they'd run into them in their lifetime, and
well, we got talking about it, and they'd run them down, and I'd just cut them off at the
knees and say, this is not appropriate to the job.

10

�Toby Jenkins: Okay, so what about, you were born into a Catholic family. Was there,
and now, are you still a practicing Catholic?
John Madigan: Oh, yeah.
Toby Jenkins: Yeah, still identifies Roman Catholic, and where do you attend services?
John Madigan: Christ the King, Cherry Street.
Toby Jenkins: Was there ever a time where your faith and your sexuality, there was a
struggle, or did you come to a resolution? Did you seek out pastoral counseling?
John Madigan: No, not really. But I knew that that was not the norm of the traditional
religious in the church. Yeah. But just...I had people that had conflicts with their religion
and voiced it, you know, but that's just part of the tradition, you know, that was not in, so
yeah, you deal with it.
Toby Jenkins: Did you ever feel any kind of, um, like you were being attacked or you
were being questioned at your church? Did they want to know why you weren't married,
or,
John Madigan: No.
Toby Jenkins: Okay, so you never had a priest or a religious leader who tried to
reassure you that you were welcome at the church and maybe talk about that?
John Madigan: I never felt unwelcome at any church that I went to.
Toby Jenkins: Were there other LGBTQ people in your congregation that you knew?
John Madigan: Oh, heck yes, you know them.
Toby Jenkins: So, uh, just, just out of curiosity, as an 80 year old Catholic Canadian,
what did you think when our previous Pope began to really make waves and say some
pretty unexpected things affirming and loving towards LGBTQ people, specifically when
he said priests could, um, uh, say a prayer at, uh, at same sex, uh, marriage ceremony,
they, you couldn't do the ceremony, but they could, I guess, bless it.
John Madigan: Bless it, yeah.
Toby Jenkins: What was, what was your thoughts when that happened?
John Madigan: That was, well, the, uh, this is the recognition by the church that we're
children of God. There's no discrimination. It's only humans discriminate against. We'll
always have homophobes.

11

�Toby Jenkins: Were you surprised that the Pope came out so strongly, supportingly,
and lovingly of LGBTQ people? No.
John Madigan: No. It was, it was in the, kind of in the flow.
Toby Jenkins: Okay.
John Madigan: It was, the church has, has to, uh, adjust to the society.
Toby Jenkins: So the, the present Pope, who's an American Pope, um, do you feel like
he's going to continue the work of the previous Pope of inclusion and moving the church
towards a more welcoming faith community?
John Madigan: Well, they're going to be more open about it. It was not saying that the
church was not welcoming to you. They just didn't say anything about it.
Toby Jenkins: Very interesting. Anything else you want to say about faith and sexuality
or anything about that before?
John Madigan: You know, since we’ve worked for the last 40 years or more, we made
our voice, our presence known. We live in this country. We're a part of everything.
Toby Jenkins: Ok. So it's, um, you're here, you know that you're a gay man, you're in
Tulsa, Oklahoma, you've met this one friend, um, and, uh, you didn't really, from what
you're told us, you didn't really connect, you know, with the clubs, the bars. Um, were
you aware of TOHR, uh, and it's different names, what we call Oklahomans for Equality
today?
John Madigan: And, uh, I didn't, hmm, may have heard about it, but didn't, you know,
make any concerted connection to it until after I, that both of us joined Prime Timers.
Toby Jenkins: Okay.
John Madigan: And then, and then, then right there you had 40 gay people right in
front of you, yeah.
Toby Jenkins: So, uh, did, in those, like in the early 90s when it was forming, did y'all
meet at the community center? Um, do you remember?
John Madigan: We met at the, there was a meeting room at, um, Harvard where the,
uh, TOHR had their call center.
Toby Jenkins: And their and their HIV testing, yeah.
John Madigan: No, it didn't have that, it was, uh, you know, just the telephone. You
called in and.

12

�Toby Jenkins: Okay, the helpline.
John Madigan: Yeah, the helpline, that's right, and because a couple of the, uh, Prime
Timers were working there.
Toby Jenkins: Were volunteering on it. And so they would meet there in the meeting
room.
John Madigan: Yeah, they had a meeting room there.
Toby Jenkins: Ok. So, you, you met this friend, and did he tell you about Prime Timers,
or were y'all a part of Prime Timers forming?
John Madigan: One of his friends that he knew, uh, mentioned it, and, uh. And I think
Jim knew about Wesley, which was the founder.
Toby Jenkins: Wesley, do you remember his last name?
John Madigan Bauer.
Toby Jenkins: Bauer, okay.
Toby Jenkins: So Wesley had formed a chapter of Prime Timers. For our viewers,
please tell us what Prime Timers is, and what it means, and what its mission.
John Madigan: Okay. Prime Timers started in Boston. He was a professor, and he
wanted to have a group of men of like persuasion for older guys to have a place to go
and meet and greet, have fellowship and things. He started the organization in 1983. In
1993, Wesley and Omer started Tulsa Area Prime Timers.
Toby Jenkins: Okay. So it was a chapter of a national affiliate. And so did they have
monthly meetings, monthly discussion groups?
John Madigan: We had a monthly meeting, and we had activities during the month.
Toby Jenkins: What were you doing to be connected to the national group? Because I
guess by then it probably had chapters all over the country, didn't it?
John Madigan: Oh, yeah. Even off in other countries.
Toby Jenkins: Yeah, around the world. My awareness of it is, to me, it seems to be
having a resurgence. Do you think that's because there's more older men now that
we're seeing? Our LGBTQ community, we're seeing a larger group of older, middleaged retired men?

13

�John Madigan: Oh, yes. It's more acceptable and open, and there's less conflict and
stigma in this. And then the mission of the organization was to have something for older
men to do, meet others.
Toby Jenkins: And so it was just for men?
John Madigan: Yes, it is just a men's group.
Toby Jenkins: How did you handle, if you had an individual who identified as a female
person, they wanted to be a part of the group, how did you handle that?
John Madigan: Just told them away. When we were at the meeting down at Peoria...
Toby Jenkins: On the Brookside location.
John Madigan: On the Brookside location, we had just one lady come up and says,
can we join Prime Timers? And I says, no, it's a men's only organization. And she says,
well, could we start one? I says, yeah, you can start a girls' Prime Timers.
Toby Jenkins: And there is a similar organization. I think it's changed its name a couple
of times, but it is for older women who identify as lesbian or bisexual. How did you
handle individuals who might have been transgender?
John Madigan: Well, we had a member that transed while she was a member. And
after she transed, then she was out of the group. We didn't ostracize her. She would
come to the all activities.
Toby Jenkins: So as she transitioned, came into the group identifying as male and
transitioned to a female person. And so once she transitioned, she left the group.
John Madigan: Yeah, well, she was identifying as female.
Toby Jenkins: So that would have been the 90s and you got involved in it. What else
would you like to say about Prime Timers?
John Madigan: It's a great organization for gay men.
Toby Jenkins: Bisexual men.
John Madigan: Yes.
Toby Jenkins: And you have, I know you'll have lots of brunches and lunches and you
go to the movies and I know several of you travel to the National Gathering every year.
You have a monthly meeting here at the Center. You have big holiday parties. I went to
one of your recent holiday parties. I don't know how, there's probably 60 men in that

14

�house. And it was a blast and I got hand warmers in the gift exchange. I was tickled to
death.
Toby Jenkins: So Prime Timers, while it's its own separate individual 501c3 and its own
program for gay and bisexual men, you had said that you were meeting, you were
meeting at the Center. You talked about how the Harvard location, the Brookside
location, and then I can, I think the first time I was exposed to you was when we were
21st and Memorial in the meeting room downstairs, which was not super accessible for
people who had, people who had difficulty going up and down. When did you begin to
get more involved with the organization? I mean, originally it was called Oklahomans
for Human Rights and it became Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights and then
eventually Oklahomans for Equality.
John Madigan: I got into TOHR, oh I guess 97, 98, and just since I worked at nights
and Tuesdays was usually my day off. So I'd go down to the Center on Memorial and sit
at the meeting.
Toby Jenkins: Okay. You would volunteer?
John Madigan: No, just got interested.
Toby Jenkins: Now were you ever involved in PFLAG with Nancy and Joe McDonald?
John Madigan: Oh yes. Got connected at Fellowship [Congregational Christian
Church] when they were having meetings there.
Toby Jenkins: Okay.
John Madigan: Nancy. TOHR. Then after that, then they got to, they got started with
the Pyramid Project and just one day I got roped in by Sue and Marcy.
Toby Jenkins: Okay. And what was the, if you, for our viewers, tell us what the Pyramid
Project was?
John Madigan: The Pyramid Project was set up for, for the organization to find a
permanent building. So it's in 2004, was it then? Then we finally bought the building.
Toby Jenkins: Why did we need a permanent building?
John Madigan: Well, because our landlords weren't very good.
Toby Jenkins: Wouldn't let us fly a rainbow flag over the building. So you helped with
that project?
John Madigan: Yes
15

�Toby Jenkins: So were you here that day we bought the building and raised the flag and
we had the bagpiper here. What were your thoughts that day after y'all spent how many
years?
John Madigan: I guess about eight years, you know, convincing the gay community in
Tulsa that we got the dirt. Back then we always had to say, well you don't have any dirt
so we won't give you any money.
Toby Jenkins: Yeah, so by dirt you mean geographical possession of a piece of
property.
John Madigan: Yeah, and so then when we did, we signed the deed on this building,
then we come up and says, okay now, we got the dirt. We want your money.
Toby Jenkins: Yeah, and they come across.
Toby Jenkins: We all work together. Do you, so you were involved in Prime Timers and
you were involved in this organization's formation and supporting the purchase of a
permanent building. Did you participate in any of the renovation days that we would
have?
John Madigan: Oh yeah, When I had days off.
John Madigan: when, of course, mornings was... Okay, gay people don't start before
nine o'clock. So...
Toby Jenkins: So, I want to, I don't want to miss it. Is there anything during that time,
anything else that stands out in your mind, like pride festivals? Did Prime Timers
participate in the pride festivals and the pride parades?
John Madigan: Oh, yes. That was our community exposure.
Toby Jenkins: That's what people found out about you. So we moved into this building
and then y'all started having your monthly meetings here. Do you remember when they,
do you remember when they were going to lift the ban on gays in the military? And were
you a part of helping me collect names for our wall of honor?
John Madigan: Yes, it is right over there.
Toby Jenkins: And many of those were Prime Timers, weren't they?
John Madigan: Yes
Toby Jenkins: And we've lost many of them.
John Madigan: Like most of them.

16

�Toby Jenkins: Most of them on the military wall, our wall of honor, which we dedicated
that whenever the ban was lifted. And so, do you remember anything you want to say
about that and what that experience was like?
John Madigan: Well, that was a nice gesture by the organization to honor those people
that served for freedom in this country.
Toby Jenkins: Right.
John Madigan: Even though they had to keep their mouth shut, otherwise they would
have been kicked out.
Toby Jenkins: Yeah. So when did there begin to be a stronger emphasis on providing
programming for older adults? When did that really take off?
John Madigan: I guess about 2009, 10, when you run into the SAGE organization.
Toby Jenkins: Yeah, Serena Worthington.
John Madigan: Yeah, Serena.
Toby Jenkins: I heard her speak at Creating Change in Chicago, and it's like, do you
remember me coming back and telling you, John, we're going to start a SAGE program?
John Madigan: Yeah.
Toby Jenkins: Because this is what everybody does. And can you tell me about those
first few months, maybe that first year, until we finally got it right?
John Madigan: Well, it was just like any gay group. It was about older adults and gay
people in this country. In this town, didn't. There was nothing for seniors. That what it is
all about? It took a lot of voicing and twisting arms. We're not going to kill you just
because you're old.
Toby Jenkins: So I think you might remember that first year, you and I would create
programs. We would have the Area Aging on Aging come. We would have funeral
homes, nursing homes come, and nobody would show up.
John Madigan: Some still don't today sometimes.
Toby Jenkins: Because we just thought we needed to provide programming agerelated. Well, that was a mistake, wasn't it?
John Madigan: Well, it was not what they were thinking.
Toby Jenkins: Right.
17

�John Madigan: Process. When we brought them there, and the whole intent was just to
have those organizations and how they treated us as senior gay and lesbian people in
their entities. Now, how were you gonna be treated after you died when you went to a
funeral home?
Toby Jenkins: Right.
John Madigan: Or you went to a senior center?
Toby Jenkins: Right.
John Madigan: Were you gonna be put in the back room way down in the hall and they
show up every couple of days for you because you're gay?
Toby Jenkins: Yeah. So it had an advocacy element of it where while we were
networking with these senior serving agencies, we were trying to make them more
inclusive.
John Madigan: Well, and that's what SAGE was all about.
Toby Jenkins: Right. So what was it? We finally did that everybody got with it and they
decided they wanted to be a part of it.
John Madigan: You convinced Serena to have a gay conference here.
Toby Jenkins: Yeah, we hosted.
John Madigan: And hosted it. And they finally, oh, okay, that's something cool.
Toby Jenkins: So you remember how we began to shift our attention from making them
aware of resources to social activity like trips and pool parties and luncheons and
entertainment, movie days and book story, book reviews. That's when we really began
to see it take off and grow.
John Madigan: Oh, yeah, because we did other things then just sit around and talk.
Toby Jenkins: Talk about old stuff.
John Madigan: Well, about each other. And did things that were interesting to people.
Toby Jenkins: And more social.
John Madigan: Yeah.
Toby Jenkins: Creating social opportunity.
John Madigan: Yeah.

18

�Toby Jenkins: Right.
John Madigan: And the trips went to places where the people that are born, raised and
lived and worked in this county had never been there. Never been, oh, I've never been
here in all my life. Yeah.
Toby Jenkins: Museums.
John Madigan: Like going down to Fort Gibson.
Toby Jenkins: Right.
John Madigan: It's been here before the state was a state.
Toby Jenkins: Um, yeah, we, activities began to be, in those days we used to have to
rent vehicles and eventually we ended up with the equality van. And while we were
traveling all over the country going to these things, it was branded so that other people
knew about us and how to find us.
John Madigan: Well, you couldn't miss it, the advertising name on the vehicle.
Toby Jenkins: How did people find SAGE when we started that chapter? Cause we
had lots of interesting, do you remember any of the stories about how people just
showed up?
John Madigan: No, they just showed up and just people come in and say, well, well,
first it was something for the senior group and other than, it was geared to them and
they felt comfortable. Yeah, the age group was right.
Toby Jenkins: What about you? I know you were involved in the veterans wall. Also,
our former director, Greg Gatewood, who had been the former director, he used to have
an event on Thanksgiving day for older adults who were by themselves. And so I felt like
we need to keep that going. Do you remember the days when we finally decided we
wanted to create a Thanksgiving dinner here? So people started out as a thing for older
adults who were by themselves and then it...
John Madigan: Become a community meal. That was giving thanks for us. We had
some place to go to and we had a community that you could relate to.
Toby Jenkins: And how many people would come to those meals?
John Madigan: Couple of hundred.
Toby Jenkins: Yeah, and who would help provide the food?

19

�John Madigan: The allied churches. Oh, they'd fight each other trying to see who was
going to get there.
Toby Jenkins: Over who was bringing green beans or…
John Madigan: Or cookies or cake.
Toby Jenkins: But that was a huge project, wasn't it?
John Madigan: Oh, yes.
Toby Jenkins: And then we'd prepare the meals for people who couldn't come so they
could have these takeaway meals which would be older adults who were shut in and
couldn't. So, you've kind of been involved in so many facets of the community. And so,
80 years old, you look marvelous. I know multiple times you've traveled with the
organization to conferences, trying to remember all the ones you went to, because
every time we went to Creating Change, I would drag you out and make, I know your
favorite one must have been when we took 56 people on a bus to Washington, D.C.
John Madigan: Well, that was, you're not gonna forget that trip.
Toby Jenkins: No, well, especially getting trapped in the Appalachian Mountains, in the
fog, and we had to get out and walk through the mountains to keep the bus, oh, gosh,
yeah, that was a…
John Madigan: And then when we got there, the city shut down.
Toby Jenkins: It was in the middle of the government shutdown under Trump, his
original residency, and we marched, didn't we, against Trump and his attack on the
LGBT community in his first, first term. So, you're 80 years old. And tell me your
thoughts about, your thoughts for the future and your suggestions on what might help us
improve to make sure everybody's included.
John Madigan: Well, right now, in this day and age, is senior mobility. We have seniors,
gay and lesbian seniors, at home that would like to come down here, but can't, don't
have any availability to transportation. We had a lady, senior, ask us about coming to
the OKEQ Senior Group, but she needed transportation. So, you gotta, that way you
gotta have somebody to go pick her up, and her, him, didn't know which one it was, but
anyway.
Toby Jenkins: Would it be possible to work with non-profit organization, or non-profit or
governmental transportation modules to be able to figure out a way to get them here?

20

�John Madigan: Well, yeah, there are other organizations in town that have
transportation for their groups, but they don't have, can they fit in that, or do they belong
to that?
Toby Jenkins: Right.
John Madigan: Life Senior Services, or the VA?
Toby Jenkins: Possibly, y'all could partner with Tulsa, I forget what it's called, the bus
system here has...
John Madigan: The Lift.
Toby Jenkins: The Lift.
John Madigan: But then they, there they have to reserve the pickup time, two, three
days out.
Toby Jenkins: But that could be something that could be coordinated.
John Madigan: Could be, yeah.
Toby Jenkins: What else do you think is, when you're thinking of, you're youthful, 80
years old, you're eight decades on Planet Earth, what, do you have concerns about our
present situations? Just curious, because this won't happen very often, we've got a reallife Canadian across the table from us, how does it make you feel whenever our present
White House leadership is so combative and adversarial with Canada, our nearest
neighbor?
John Madigan: Our present President is, he's an opportunist and an agitator. He loves
poke you on the ribs about things, and it's the things that are done behind the scenes.
With the LGBT community, we got to be on guard 25-8 to keep what we got, because
it'll go out the window in a flash. Most LGBT people think we got it made. Nah, the kids
don't have a clue where we started. That's where the history should start. History 101 to
the 20-year-olds, what it was like in 1980.
Dennis Neill: This being a history project, this is John with Tay and others, when we
drop boxes off for them to help support the resurgence of the history project. So maybe
ask him a few questions about his experience with that.
Toby Jenkins: Dennis has a picture of you and Tay and some other people in there.
What year would that have been?

21

�Dennis Neill: I would say, John, probably around 2002 was when Laura and I
relaunched the history project. And I was dropping boxes off. Would that be at Tay's
house?
John Madigan: Yeah, that's Tay Clare”s house.
Dennis Neill: There's a few more pictures with a few more people in it.
Toby Jenkins: So what we were talking about is all the different things you've been
involved in. So you would have been right there. We got the pictures to prove it. As they
say, a photo, it didn't happen. Well, there it happened. And we got you...
John Madigan: This group of people here that started this were trying to keep it going.
A bunch of women. And most of these women went to MCC. And it was still going back
then.
Toby Jenkins: Metropolitan Community Church.
John Madigan: And it was kind of an outreach for them, too.
Toby Jenkins: So this would have been when Dennis was a young man. So that would
have been 20...
John Madigan: When we were all pups.
Toby Jenkins: It would be about 2002. And Dr. Laura Belmonte, who would have been
our board president at that time, professor at OSU. And you look like you were involved
in relaunching, as Dennis and John, his partner John and Laura Belmonte, wanted to
relaunch the history archives and the history project. So that's what this picture is.
John Madigan: Yeah, they were going through photos that people had for... Going back
for 30 years by that time.
Toby Jenkins: I loved what you said. We have our archivist, Amanda. I felt like his last
line when he said... We've got Dennis Neill, founder of Oklahomans for Equality, and
Amanda Thompson, our archivist. I felt like if you're going to have a promotional, John
Madigan's line, History 101, I felt like that could have sold why this, what we're doing, is
so critical. Anything else, John, as we come to the end of this, our time together,
anything else you would want to say?
John Madigan: We have to fight. Keep it going. They'll run us down. That's what the
young people have to do.

22

�Toby Jenkins: All right. Well, thank you so much. That concludes our interview with
John Madigan here at the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center on January the 13th, 2026, at
his youthful 80 years old.

Addendum: Photos of volunteers at Tay Clare’s house
sorting OkEq archival materials, circa 200

2.

23

�24

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                    <text>Oklahomans for Equality
Oral History Interview
with
John Orsulak and Pat Hobbs
Interview Conducted by Toby Jenkins (and Dennis Neill)
Date: March 19, 2026
Edited By: Dennis Neill using Riverside Studio AI, March 21th,
2026
Restrictions: Interviewee requested: N/A

Oklahomans for Equality
History Project
621 E. 4th Street
Tulsa, OK. 74120
918.743.4297
historyproject@okeq.org

1

�About John Orsulak and Pat Hobbs

Summary
This interview with Pat Hobbs and John Orsulak explores their 36-year relationship,
their careers in theater, music, and education, and their activism within the LGBTQ
community in Tulsa. They share personal stories, insights on community
involvement, and their vision for a more inclusive future.
Keywords
LGBTQ, Tulsa, theater, activism, community, aging in place, Rainbow Room, cohousing, Pride, advocacy
Key Topics


Personal stories of Pat Hobbs and John Orsulak



Their careers in theater, music, and education



Involvement in LGBTQ advocacy and community building



The vision for the Rainbow Room and co-housing in Tulsa

Chapters
00:00 Introduction to the Oklahoma LGBTQ History Archives
02:59 Love Story: Pat and John's Journey Together
05:49 Childhood and Early Influences
08:57 Navigating Identity and Sexual Orientation
12:00 The Impact of AIDS on Personal Lives
14:58 Career Paths and Community Involvement
17:49 Theater and Music: A Shared Passion

2

�20:53 Family Dynamics and Acceptance
23:58 Reflections on Life and Legacy
39:31 Theater Memories and Personal Triumphs
42:08 Integrity in Arts Organizations
43:27 Reflections on the Catholic Church and Leadership
45:22 The Journey of Finale's Restaurant
52:40 Y2K and the Impact on Business
54:50 Gardening and Community Living
56:28 The Vision Behind Heartwood Commons
01:01:32 The Role of the Rainbow Room in Tulsa
01:09:42 Theater Community Health and Future
01:14:38 Being a Face of the LGBTQ+ Community
01:18:39 Messages for Future Generations

John Orsulak and Pat Hobbs Oral History Interview March 19, 2026
Toby Jenkins: Today is March 19th, 2026. We are at the Dennis R. Neill Equality
Center in the Joe and Nancy McDonald Rainbow Library interviewing today two
wonderful people for our Oklahoma LGBTQ History Archives. Present in the room is
Dennis Neill, founder of Oklahomans for Equality. Amanda Thompson, our archivist,
and Toby Jenkins. Could you tell us your names?
Pat Hobbs: I'm Pat Hobbs.
John Orsulak: I'm John Orsulak.
Toby Jenkins: And just to kick this off, how long have you been together?
Pat and John: 36 years.
Toby Jenkins: Now, we're interviewing this couple together and then we're going to
find out a little bit about their lives. But I think for our purposes today, I'd like to start
out with this question, because I know Oprah would ask. How did y'all meet?
Pat Hobbs: Oh, Lord. In church.
John Orsulak: Well, church rectory. At the time, I was a church music director at a
small Catholic church in Bay City, Michigan, birthplace of Madonna. And the staff
was invited over to the rectory for Thanksgiving. And the pastor I worked for was
gay. Not that that makes any difference. But anyway, he had the staff over. Pat was
visiting a mutual friend of ours who happened to be living there at the time. And Pat

3

�came into the kitchen and we started talking about theater. My ex at the time also
showed up at the time, and he'd had a few. But we just hit it off and then... go ahead.
Pat Hobbs: Well, we hit it off and he invited me to breakfast on Monday before I left
town. And we started a long-distance conversation for about a month. And we met
for the next time in Chicago for New Year's Eve. And I spent New Year's in Chicago.
John Orsulak: I came down for Valentine's.
Pat Hobbs: He came down in February to meet Tulsa. It was his Tulsa debut at
Jerry Jackson's and Jeff Feist House for a big party. And then it just evolved.
John Orsulak: You came in April.
Pat Hobbs: I came in April, went back up there. And it was just kind of a decision.
Who's got the better job? He was in music and he can do that anywhere. And I had
a really good job here at the time. So we just decided to move here. And John
moved down July 4th weekend.
Toby Jenkins: And what year would that have been?
Pat Hobbs: That was 1990.
John Orsulak: Yeah.
Toby Jenkins: All right. Well, let's find out how you two people became smitten with
each other. What led to that moment? Pat, tell us about your childhood and your
family.
Pat Hobbs: Well, I'm the second of four boys growing up in Southeast Texas. My
dad was a lieutenant colonel in the Marines. So we were his four Marine Corps boys.
My baby brother was gay. He was five years younger than me. But we didn't realize
that until 1990. So I grew up in Beaumont, Texas and spent time at the farm up in
Newton County. And just considered myself kind of a country boy at some point.
Toby Jenkins: So where did you go to high school?
Pat Hobbs: Went to high school in Beaumont, Texas.
Toby Jenkins: Beaumont, Texas. And what year did you graduate?
Pat Hobbs: 1970.
Toby Jenkins: So it's 1970. What was the world like in 1970, your world?
Pat Hobbs: Oh, it was hippie time and it was protest time. Protesting the Vietnam
War. Nixon was president. A lot of politics going on. But the draft was going on too.
And sending kids overseas to fight in a war that we didn't, many of us didn't believe
in. Luckily, I had a very high draft number and I didn't go.
Toby Jenkins: So you never did get called up?
Pat Hobbs: Never got called up.
Toby Jenkins: What were your interests in school?

4

�Pat Hobbs: All my interests in high school were band and theater. And when I was
in high school, I went with a friend to help him audition. They convinced me to
audition and I got the lead. And it was the first thing I'd ever done. So it was one of
those real quick things that, oh, this is fun.
Toby Jenkins And what was the production?
Pat Hobbs: It was a play called See How They Run.
Toby Jenkins: Okay, it wasn't a musical.
Pat Hobbs: No, we didn't do musicals in high school because the drama department
did not speak to the choir department. They were at the same period, so we never
did a musical. But I always loved them.
Toby Jenkins: So that piqued your interest in performance. Were you in the band?
Pat Hobbs: I was in the band, marching band. I played tuba.
Toby Jenkins: Tuba.
Pat Hobbs: I played tuba in the marching band.
Toby Jenkins: And it probably was bigger than you were.
Pat Hobbs: It was bigger than me, but you know, I placed first my junior and senior
year. I placed first in competition.
Toby Jenkins: In tuba. In Texas.
Pat Hobbs: Yes.
Toby Jenkins: Well, of course you did. You've always been an overachiever.
Pat Hobbs: And then I actually won a state award my senior year. I was the first
from our high school since 1952 to win a state UIL, University Interscholastic League
award for boys' prose reading. And my winning selection was James Thurber's
Unicorn in the Garden.
Toby Jenkins: Wow, How appropriate. Okay. So this was 1970. Do you happen to
remember how many were in your graduating class from Beaumont?
Pat Hobbs: 289.
Toby Jenkins: Okay, so it was a mid-sized Texas town. Did you go to college after
that? Technical school?
Pat Hobbs: I went to SMU the following fall and spent four years at.
Toby Jenkins: And SMU is?
Pat Hobbs: Southern Methodist University. I was a theater major my first year. And
it was just a weird time for me because I thought there were a bunch of weirdos in
the theater department. I wasn't out, but there were just a lot of weirdos. I mean, gay
people. You know, what I thought were gay people. And I ended up transferring over
to the business school and got a degree in accounting and finance but kept my love
5

�for theater and performing. And I would do all-school talent shows when it didn't
involve the theater.
Toby Jenkins: At SMU?
Pat Hobbs: Uh-huh, when it didn't involve the theater department, yeah.
Toby Jenkins: Okay. Did you, by then, you're a college student. Did you, how do
you identify? What is your sexual orientation?
Pat Hobbs: At college?
Toby Jenkins: Well, now.
Pat Hobbs: Oh, now I'm gay.
Toby Jenkins: Okay, what about at college?
Pat Hobbs: I was straight, struggling.
Toby Jenkins: Okay, but you had that sexual attraction to persons of the same sex.
Pat Hobbs: I did, but, you know, it took a long time to get to the point, to actual
coming out.
Toby Jenkins: So you got a accounting degree from SMU.
Pat Hobbs: I did.
Toby Jenkins: And what happened after that?
Pat Hobbs: You know, I had a job there in Dallas, and then I was dating a young
woman, and she had a family business here in Tulsa. Their accountant retired, so
they asked me if I would come to work for them here in Tulsa, so that's how I got to
Tulsa.
Toby Jenkins: And what year was that?
Pat Hobbs: I worked for them, that was in 76, and worked for them until 1987.
Toby Jenkins: Now, were you married?
Pat Hobbs: Yes.
Toby Jenkins: And how long were you married?
Pat Hobbs: 11 years.
Toby Jenkins: 11 years. Any children?
Pat Hobbs: No children.
Toby Jenkins: Okay. And during that 11 years, were there any kind of struggles
over that? Did you have a sense of insecurity in your sexuality, or were you
comfortable in that relationship?

6

�Pat Hobbs: I was very comfortable in it until the last couple of years, and there was
this desire to see what's out there, you know?
Toby Jenkins: Okay. John, tell us about your childhood.
John Orsulak: Oh, gosh. Born in 1954. I'm the youngest of six. I have three
brothers, two sisters, and also a stepsister, which was later, after I was an adult.
Used to be, I think, current count on nieces and nephews is 13, though I do have
some grand, or great, whatever it is, nieces and nephews now, and I think I'm even
now getting to the great, great stage, which is weird. Lived in Danville, Illinois,
hometown of Dick Van Dyke, Donald O'Connor, Gene Hackman, Bobby Short, and
myself.
It's mid-size at the time, blue-collar, Hyster, a lot of GM plants and things, they're all
shuttered now and the town is kind of drying up sort of. I graduated in 72 from
Danville High School, was involved in choir, got involved in junior high and then that
transferred into high school.
My high school choral teacher, Helen Wolfe, was instrumental in getting me into the
drama department or a drama club and I don't, I'm trying to think, I was more behind
the scenes than on stage at the time and ended up for some weird quirk the
president of the club my senior year. While I was in choir, the music department held
their very first two musicals while I was there. My junior year it was Brigadoon. I have
a picture that was in the yearbook of me within my kilt with a hand up and it looks
very gay, as far as the skirt a little hiked up on the leg. And then the second, the
senior year was Little Abner and I was just, I think I was the milkman. But that was
really the last theater I did for many years. I went to Danville Junior College to, now
it's Community College, and got my degree there. That was the era of Streakers, had
my first experience with people streaking down the quad, that was interesting.
And then went, transferred to Illinois State University and got my degree in
elementary ed.
Toby Jenkins: And where was that?
John Orsulak: Normal, Illinois. Bloomington Normal, where State Farm is located,
their headquarters. Didn't do any theater, got very active with the Newman Club
there, was involved in all kind of things.
Toby Jenkins: So you were Roman Catholic.
John Orsulak: Right, right.
Toby Jenkins: Did you, you talked about theater, when did you become a musician?
When did you become...
John Orsulak: Oh gosh, I did that back as a kid. My grade school that I went to, St.
Joseph's, which is no longer in existence, long time. They had a small pipe organ
they needed somebody to play. I was, had taken piano and just kind of self-taught
myself and would play for services. And then that just kind of evolved over time. I
really didn't do anything that I recall in college. When I got out, I had my degree, I
worked for the Catholic school. Our parish merged with another one, because that
was the time small parishes had to do that. And so I taught at what was then, used to

7

�be St. Patrick's, now is Holy Family. I don't even think it's in existence now. Catholic
school was seventh and eighth grade, language arts to start with, was doing no
theater at all. Still would do the church music. For me as a kid, it was an escape at
recess to go over and practice, just so I didn't have to deal with sports and bullying or
anything else on the playground. But a friend of mine who had got her degree in
theater at Illinois State, talked me into auditioning for a production, local theater
production of Annie Get Your Gun.
And so did that, chorus, and then from that point on, I basically got hooked, because
the next show I got a featured role, Mr. Snow in Brigadoon, not Brigadoon, [ Pat
added Carousel] yeah, that one. Thank you. And then just kind of off and on things
there, I decided to get out of education, because I was drawn more toward church
music, and went back to the University of Illinois in Champaign-Urbana to get my
undergrad work in music. Had to audition for voice, so I had to take voice as part of
it. And when I walked into the audition studio, here is William Warfield.
Old Man River himself, sitting there, and I'm singing, you know, I'm in my probably
mid-20s by then, and it was, you know, I don't recall anything. It was just kind of a
blur. It was just seeing him but did that and then continued working and doing church
work, moved to a small parish in Decatur, Illinois, if you know where that is. Was
there a year, got fired, didn't work. I was a little too progressive for them because at
the Newman Center, it was a very progressive Newman Center, and I mean the
priests didn't wear a collar, the the woman who was religious, you know, didn't wear
a habit. It was very laid-back, very contemporary.
Toby Jenkins: Lots of folk music.
John Orsulak: Yes, sang a lot of Godspell, things like that. But I did that and then
went back from there, came back to my home parish in Danville, worked there for a
while, and then went to Bloomington, which was the sister city of where I went to
college, Bloomington Normal. Worked at the church there for a year. It didn't work
out, though I did get a chance to participate in the renovation of the church, which
was, that was a big deal. It was an old Art Deco style, but then they really stripped a
lot out and got it. I don't know what it looks like now.
Toby Jenkins: So was your career, just like Pat’s was accounting, was your career
in church music?
John Orsulak: I thought it was going to be. I did it for, I taught for five years and
then went into church music full-time and then when I moved here, that's what I
thought I was going to do and continue. And at the time there was only, I think, one
parish that had any kind of an opening and just didn't feel, just moving here and
experiencing their version of Catholic liturgy, they were so far behind. About ten, I
was spoiled with a very progressive bishop and again, he was one that you taught,
you called him Ken, you didn't call him Bishop, and it was just very laid-back.
During that time when I was in Michigan, it's when I had my first relationship with a
man and just kind of then met him [Pat] and the rest was history.
Toby Jenkins: So during that time how did you identify and what is your sexual
orientation?

8

�John Orsulak: Now I'm definitely gay. Back then it was, I think I'm straight. It didn't
really feel right. It was, you know, there was a little experimentation here and there
and I had one person at a rehearsal, no, it was a cast party after a show, who
pursued me home and I was scared to death. I mean, I went to the garage, turned off
the lights, got in the house as quickly as I could, turned off the lights and, you know,
now I converse with him occasionally through Facebook and that's, you know, and
there's no issue with that at all, but yeah, it was church music for a long time when I
moved here and there wasn't anything available. I just went back to what I knew,
which was education. So I got back to doing subbing in different school districts. I
became popular, so to speak, in Jenks because they got to know me well.
They liked me and I was offered a position to open the southeast campus when it
first opened and from that point on I worked for Jenks over 20 years, fifth grade
mainly.
Toby Jenkins: Did Jenks school, did they know you were gay?
John Orsulak: I wasn't out, but people knew. They knew and parents figured it out. I
think a lot of parents did. The biggest controversy, occasionally he would be with me
and I just would sidestep it, but...
Pat Hobbs: May I interject here?
John Orsulak: Go ahead.
Pat Hobbs: So if any of you know about the Malcolm Baldrige Award, it's a highly
prestigious award given by the Department of Transportation, no, Department of
Commerce. Three or four companies a year win this award. Jenks schools won it.
Mesa Products won it three times, twice when I was with them, so we called
ourselves the Baldrige Boys. Well, when they made the presentation at the Hyatt, or
the Marriott, it's now the Marriott down there, they had a nice little presentation thing
at 7 o'clock one night, and I was late getting there, John was sitting at a big table of
eight with his principal, and they left the chair open for me to come in next to the
principal, and I came in and I sat down, and the principal did this, he actually moved
his chair two feet away when I sat next to him.
John Orsulak Yeah, that was uncomfortable, to say the least.
Pat Hobbs: It was very uncomfortable.
Toby Jenkins: And that was what year?
John Orsulak: That was, oh gosh, that was... Toward the end. 2
Pat Hobbs: 2011, 20... I was at Mesa seven years, 2010, 2011.
Toby Jenkins: So towards the end of your career in teaching at Jenks, did you see
the culture change where administration and maybe other teachers were more
supportive?
John Orsulak: It was never an issue. People met Pat, they were comfortable with
him. My co-workers, we never discussed it, but they were fine with him, they had no
issues. About the only thing that really was controversial with me was for my 40th, I

9

�decided to pierce my ear. I had just done a production of Annie here locally, had
done the whole bald head thing, and I was growing it back. And so I had just a
poster, a hoop in. Well, there were parents that were just aghast, and they tried to
get me to either, I don't know if they were trying to get rid of the earring or get rid of
me, and one of the assistant superintendents, who I knew well and they knew me
well, supported me and told them no.
And from that point on, it was not...
Pat Hobbs: But you even had the support of the superintendent, Kirby Lehman,
back then. You know how they do prom pictures in Woodward Park? Every Friday
and Saturday night during the spring, you can't find a place to park because all the
kids are taking prom pictures. Well, living across the street from the park, our
driveway was a turnaround, and we saw Dr. Lehman down the street. He became a
really good friend of ours through some work with Theater Tulsa, and he came over
and had a glass of wine with us. You know, it was our home, you know, come in
while you're getting your pictures made, you know.
John Orsulak: What do you do? Do you invite him in?
Pat Hobbs: Yeah, invite him in and have a glass of wine.
John Orsulak: And that was the year, had a young man drive up in a vintage
Mustang with his girlfriend for pictures. And we're out there with a cocktail in hand,
gawking at how people are dressed, like we normally did. And this kid looks over to
me and says, hi, Mr. O, and he told me his name, and I immediately knew it was a
former student of mine, but it was not, it was no big deal. And here are the two of us,
I was like, okay, he's figured that out. But, yeah, it's...
Toby Jenkins: Yeah, so your house faced Woodward Park. What was the street
there?
John and Pat: Rockford.
Toby Jenkins: Rockford. So, well, you talked a little bit about your career and how
you ended up in Tulsa. Did you want to talk any more about what your other
interests, like how you got into the theater community here, or, I know you had that
day job as an accountant.
Pat Hobbs: Oh, yeah, but that was just a day job, you know, it paid the bills. Since
19... I had moved here in 76 and auditioned for a show in 77 for Theater Tulsa and
did shows for them ever since. Did shows for all the theater companies here in town
just about once, two, three, four times a year, you know, kept it up.
Toby Jenkins: I know that you developed a character who became kind of wellknown, kind of a comedian musical character, you want to tell us about that?
Pat Hobbs: Danny Day? Danny Day is almost a, oh, I don't know what to call it
now…autobiographical story. He started in theater when he was five, playing Tiny
Tim. And he was 55, the last time he was on stage he was 55, 60 years old. And he
had done all the shows. He had done all the musicals in town. Sometimes two or
three times. Sometimes this part. Sometimes he had a lead. Sometimes he had a
supporting role. But he knew all the gossip. He knew all the scoop about what was

10

�going on in town. And he knew where the bodies were buried. He knew who slept
with whom, and all that kind of stuff. So yeah, it was a little character I made up. But
it was very autobiographical at the same time.
Toby Jenkins: It was very popular. You did it several times.
Pat Hobbs: I did, yeah.
Toby Jenkins: So you came to Tulsa, what year was it?
Pat Hobbs: 76.
Toby Jenkins: And I know you were married, and then you divorced. You were in
Tulsa, this was, let's talk about before, and then John would have been still in Illinois,
correct, during that period. You're men who are figuring yourselves out. Tell me
about the first time you heard about AIDS.
John Orsulak: Oh gosh.
Pat Hobbs: Probably on TV. Probably?
John Orsulak: Yeah, I really can't think of a date or a year either.
Pat Hobbs: Early to mid 80s. 83, 84, 85.
Toby Jenkins: Did you see the impact of that on maybe people that associated with
the churches you were working for? Did you see an impact on friends, family?
John Orsulak: I didn't really until I moved here. And got involved with the center.
Pat Hobbs: And the Names Project.
John Orsulak: Yeah, and then Billy.
Pat Hobbs: And then my brother.
Toby Jenkins: Okay, tell us about that.
Pat Hobbs: Billy's five years younger than me. He was born in 1957. And it's a really
lovely story, but he came out to me and John. We were all in New York one weekend
for New Year's, and he came out to us at the dinner table one night, and we had no
idea. I mean, just absolutely no idea. And we had this wonderful relationship for
about three or four years. We'd go down to Houston where he lived. He'd come up
here to Tulsa. We just had a really grand old gay time. He even had a parking place
at J.R.'s, a private parking place at J.R.'s in Houston.
He was so popular. But it was right after mother died, and we were, in fact, it was the
day after, the afternoon after her funeral, and the four of us boys were sitting on the
front porch. You know, it was, the will was cut and dried. We all knew what was
gonna go on. And we were talking about the farm, what we were gonna do with the
farm. And we're sitting there in our rocking chairs, just rocking back and forth like
this.
And he stands up and had a cigarette going, and he threw the cigarette out in the
yard, and he said, it doesn't make any goddamn difference to me. I'm dying of the

11

�fucking AIDS. And he got up and he walked off in the woods. And about a month
later, I got a call from a friend of his in Houston. And he said, I think you need to
come down one weekend. You know, come down, see what's going on. So from that
point on, John and I, we either drove down or we flew down every other weekend for
a year to make sure he had food in the house, care in the house, a clean house, do
all the things that we could do from a distance.
John Orsulak: And it was right before the cocktail.
Pat Hobbs: And it was right before, right before.
Toby Jenkins: So it was 1995. Explain the cocktail.
Pat Hobbs: 1995.
John Orsulak: Gosh, originally it was just ATZ. Then other drugs, combinations
came about that helped prolong life. And for Billy, it was just, he was too far gone.
Pat Hobbs: Six months, six months.
John Orsulak: Luckily he had good hospice care toward the end.
Pat Hobbs: We had, yeah, very good hospice care.
Toby Jenkins: This would have been what year?
Pat Hobbs: 95.
Toby Jenkins: And he would have been how old, Pat?
Pat Hobbs: 37.
Toby Jenkins: 37, yeah.
Dennis Neill: Pat, how did your other brothers deal with it?
Pat Hobbs: I'm just gonna say that my other brother between the two of us, what do
we tell people he died off. That's as much as I'm going to say. But we found a
hospice in Houston, Omega House, and it was just like, similar to St. Joseph's here
in Tulsa, where the designers had taken a room and designed a room. And it was
small, it was there in the Montrose area of Houston. And that's where he spent the
last six or eight weeks of his life. And if you recall the pictures you saw on television
of people in their last stages, the wasting syndrome, the weight loss, that's what Billy
was. His wasn't a, I'm not going to say it wasn't a dignified death. Physically it was
not a dignified death. What we did going down there was make sure that he died a
dignified death by having food and help and making sure his will was properly
prepared before he died. But his was one of the worst, wasting, devastating deaths.
John Orsulak: But your nieces were very supportive.
Pat Hobbs: They were very supportive. And they were very young, too.
Toby Jenkins: Now, you told us that your brother, you and John, had already been
together. Had you come out to your family as gay?

12

�Pat Hobbs: You know, I...
John Orsulak: First time I met the family was at his father's funeral.
Pat Hobbs: At my father's funeral. And, you know, John drove down to Texas and
we buried Daddy. And from then on, it was, he was fixing mommy drinks at five
o'clock every afternoon. I didn't have to say anything. You know, it was just...
Toby Jenkins: So his mother met you.
John Orsulak: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Pat Hobbs: And mother's uncle was gay. He had two long-term relationships, Uncle
Fred, that we grew up with. So it wasn't a surprise to her. You know, she never said
anything. I never said, hey, mom. You know, but he was always there at the house.
John Orsulak: Tell the story of when I was moving. When we stopped in Danville.
Pat Hobbs: Oh, oh, yeah. This is his dad. So we were moving down from Michigan.
And we had a U-Haul van filled with his stuff and had the car towed behind. And we
stopped at his folks' house in Danville to spend the night. And it was a tiny little
house, and a tiny little bedroom that we were in with a tiny little almost twin bed that
we shared. And we got up the next morning and had breakfast and getting ready to
move on. And his dad takes me aside. His dad says, take care of my son.
John Orsulak: No more words.
Pat Hobbs: Take care of my son.
John Orsulak: Yeah, it was never discussed. It was just a given. Yeah.
Pat Hobbs: Yeah.
Toby Jenkins: Still welcomed by your family.
John and Pat: Oh, very much.
John Orsulak: When I come home, where's Pat?
Toby Jenkins: Okay. Well, you're fortunate. I think you know that. But you're
fortunate that you found each other. And you're fortunate that your families maintain
the relationship. Tell us a little bit about some of your, I mean, you both had careers.
But tell us a little bit about some of the things that you began to get involved in here
in Tulsa. All of the organizations and the things that were passionate to you and the
projects.
Pat Hobbs: Oh, geez. How can you, you know, over the years, how many boards
did I serve on? Including this one, twice. You know, of course, the arts have always
been a passion of mine. And I've served on the AHHA board. I was on staff at
Mayfest for a while. The Tulsa Garden Center. Anything creative and artistic, I was
either on the board or on staff at some point, volunteer staff. And then got involved
here at OkEq back in 2001 or 2002, when Brent Ortolani was president. And the
previous president was Michelle. Help me out. She's in Kansas now. [Michelle
Hoffman.]

13

�Anyway, because of my accounting background, they asked me if I would be
treasurer. And this was when the center was located at 21st and Memorial. And I
would go down and do the books on Sunday mornings while you'd go to church. I'd
go down and do the books at this office we had down there that had no heat. I would
bundle up in my coat to go down there. We didn't even have, we had, it wasn't even
QuickBooks or Quicken, and it was some very, very elementary software program
that we had. And it took maybe a couple hours to go in and write checks.
And I think our total budget at the time was maybe $19,000. It was just, yeah, very
grassroots at the time, if you will. And the smell from the bar next door, from being
open on a Saturday night, I'd come home and have to hang my clothes outside on a
Sunday afternoon just to get rid of the smoke that was in the office in the afternoon.
But yeah, I served as treasurer for a couple of years until some health issues took
over. And I had to relinquish those to Dwight [Kealiher]. And Dwight took over until
the organization kept growing and growing and growing.
We had $21,000 in the bank. This is one of my reports. 2021. Oh, wow. Just when
the Pyramid Project was in its infancy.
Toby Jenkins: So John, he said, so were you still playing, doing music for a
congregation here at the time?
John Orsulak: Not at first. I did do a little bit with one congregation. It didn't last
long.
Pat Hobbs: You did St. John's for a while.
John Orsulak: Right. I was there at Jerome's, but it didn't last terribly long.
Toby Jenkins: I think there were some, I don't remember what the reason was, but
it just didn't work.
Pat Hobbs: Political issues.
John Orsulak: Yeah. Yeah. Probably more interpersonal things. But no, I really got
back into education. And then because I moved here and we already had the love of
theater between us, within a month, I was cast in a show. It wasn't a musical, but
started my career with Theater Tulsa and then just kind of branched out into
musicals.
Toby Jenkins: So when he says he was working on the books and you were at
church, are you still active in that?
John Orsulak: No. No.
Toby Jenkins: Okay.
John Orsulak: I haven't been for a long time.
Toby Jenkins: Okay.
Dennis Neill: Excuse me. John, what was your favorite acting role that you've...

14

�John Orsulak: Oh my gosh. That's a tough one. Probably the one that I'm proudest
of, it was probably the hardest role I had to do was Juan Peron in Evita. Not only did
I have to dye my hair, because it's very gray, the best they could do was a dark
brown, but musically it was some of the toughest stuff I ever had to learn. And I'd
have to drill and drill and drill because it was very atonal, but it was this critical
speech I do on a balcony and just getting through that was a triumph for me because
it was a challenge.
Otherwise, things came fairly easy, so it was nice to get a challenge that would push
you a little bit more. Now, we've kind of aged out. Roles are few and far between.
Dennis Neill: So with that Evita role, that was not that long ago, right?
John Orsulak: What would you say? 10, 15?
Pat Hobbs: It was probably 10 years ago.
Dennis Neill: Oh, it was that long ago?
Pat Hobbs: Yeah.
John Orsulak: Yeah.
Dennis Neill: And then Pat, how about you? Your favorite role and then also your
favorite board position? All the non-profits you've served on.
Pat Hobbs: Oh, my favorite role by far is Zaza, the Drag Queen in La Cage.
Dennis Neill: And you did that as Tulsa...
Pat Hobbs: Tulsa Project Theater, and it was an equity show, I got equity points. I'm
equity eligible for that show.
Dennis Neill: And how much did you get paid?
Pat Hobbs: Oh, it was a hundred dollars. But the story I like to tell about that is that
the end of Act I is when Albin is out there, or Zaza is in her full sequins and feathers
and everything, dismisses the entire cast and sings the gay anthem, I Am What I
Am, and it closes Act I. And I had the privilege of singing with an 18-piece Tulsa
Symphony Orchestra in that show. It's Jerry Herman. It's horns. It's a beautiful
orchestration. But here I am on stage by myself for the last five minutes singing this
wonderful, wonderful song.
And I realized on, it was dress rehearsal, when you're just totally in that role and
you're totally singing, and you finish that last number, and you rip that wig off, and
the curtain comes down, and there's nobody around you. You've just done the
performance of your life, and there is, the cast has gone upstairs to change clothes
for Act II. The only person on your left over here is the stage manager who calls
curtain. There's nobody else on stage, nobody to catch it.
And it's like, so after that happened on dress rehearsal, I asked my co-star Chris,
who was my husband in the show, I said, would you please stand offstage on stage
right and just hold me when I come off? Because you just exposed every nerve and
every emotion in your body singing this wonderful gay anthem. And I just needed

15

�somebody to hold me, you know? So from there on, for every performance, Chris
was there to catch me. But I love that. That was my...
Dennis Neill: I loved the show.
Pat Hobbs: I would love to do that again, too. Favorite board position. Oh, geez.
You know, Dennis, my integrity, my professional accounting integrity, has gotten the
best of me sometimes, being a board member. And specifically with a couple of arts
organizations here in town who were doing the wrong thing and blowing through
Harwelden money like they were going to get it next year, you know, get the same
amount next year. And they kept blowing through it and they didn't have their policies
and procedures in place. I'm not going to say I have the best organization I stayed
on, okay, that I served on. But there were some fun moments for all of them. But all
of my integrity got to me on a couple of them, really, and just had to walk away.
Toby Jenkins: I wanted to ask this. We were... I was going to ask you about... You
had worked for these churches and apparently still were connected, so you're no
longer involved with the Catholic Church. As a former Catholic, I guess is the way
I'd... What do you think about our present Pope?
John Orsulak: Hopeful. The previous Pope, I liked him a lot, just he was on the right
track. I don't know. I don't still... I'm waiting to see how he deals with people who are
gay. The number of people who work for the church who are gay is... I think if people
realized that, they'd be astounded. I worked for two gay pastors, very obviously, an
assistant. And it's like, okay. Here locally, you just kind of wonder. I see a lot of
cassocks and old school looks, and it's like, okay, what are you hiding from? Just not
of interest to me anymore. I don't want to play the game.
Toby Jenkins: It's still pretty profound though, that the world's number one religious
leader for all of Christianity, whether they acknowledge him as their spiritual head,
it's pretty significant that the last three or four years we've had a Pope who called us
to treat people with dignity regardless of their journey.
John Orsulak: John, the current one, he's from Illinois, my home state, and he's a
Cubs fan, so you can't beat that. Good combination.
Toby Jenkins: He's pretty critical of the United States' present positions on multiple
issues, calls us out.
Pat and John: Yeah.
Toby Jenkins: Okay, I just was curious about that. Now, let me ask you about this.
Tell us about Finales.
Pat Hobbs: Lord, really?
John Orsulak: I need a drink.
Pat Hobbs: That was the most expensive MBA anyone has ever gone through.
Toby Jenkins: Okay.
Pat Hobbs: I think we were kind of like Joseph in The Amazing Technicolor
Dreamcoat in that we were years ahead of our time, just ahead of our time. We

16

�found a space down here on First Street, and it was my dream to have a restaurant
with entertainment, like Lucy and Desi, come down to the club. So we remodeled the
first floor of the Jacobs Building down here on First Street and hired James Schrader
as our chef, who ended up doing a dang good job of it. We hired people like you. We
didn't know what we were doing, but we had fun at it at the same time.
We had cast parties for opening night for several of the touring companies that would
come in. The opening night cast party for Chicago was our biggest night that we ever
had. My God, it was a fabulous evening.
Beauty and the Beast, we had their cast party. And for all the local companies here
in Tulsa, we have opening night cast parties, a place for people to go. Now they go
to Kilkenny's or they go to McNeely's after a show.
Toby Jenkins: So your vision was a restaurant with entertainment.
Pat Hobbs: With entertainment, and it was before and after the theater. It was within
walking distance. It was 476 steps from the Performing Arts Center. So if you're
going to the Symphony or the Ballet, come have a nice dinner at 6, walk over to the
PAC, come back and have coffee and dessert.
Toby Jenkins: And so in those days, downtown was pretty deserted.
Pat Hobbs: Oh, downtown.
Toby Jenkins: You were it.
Pat Hobbs: I think the May Rooms were still open.
Toby Jenkins: And then across the railroad tracks was the Spaghetti Warehouse,
but that was it.
Pat Hobbs: That was it.
Toby Jenkins: There were no other restaurants.
Pat Hobbs: There was no Art District.
Toby Jenkins: No other restaurants.
Dennis Neill: And what's the time period?
Pat Hobbs: This was 1998. 1998 to 2000.
Toby Jenkins: And for our viewers, I was out and I needed a part-time job, and Pat
and John, his partner, and his other folks who were there with him, took me under
their arm and they taught me how to do fine dining. I didn't know how to, I never
drank wine. They had to teach me how to serve it. But it was elegant. Tulsa's power
people loved it. Tulsa's people who desired fine dining and entertainment supported
it.
Pat Hobbs: And we had a 1921 Steinway in the center of the restaurant.
John Orsulak: You bought sight unseen.

17

�Pat Hobbs: I bought sight unseen out of California on the internet before they had
pictures. John said, this is a drug deal going bad. And they delivered it to our house
and I went, oh my God.
Toby Jenkins: It was elegant.
Pat Hobbs: It was, yeah.
Toby Jenkins: But there was nothing in downtown Tulsa.
Pat Hobbs: No, there was nothing.
Toby Jenkins: Nobody lived in downtown Tulsa. There were no other restaurants.
You were definitely pioneers of the revitalization and the restoration of our urban
core, which we all take for granted. And younger people today just assume that it's
always been like this. Because there was a period when downtown Tulsa was the
place to be. And then everything left downtown Tulsa. And you and your colleagues
were trying to, you could see it before others couldn't.
Pat Hobbs: Well, thank you. Yeah, we just wanted to, the desire was to build it near
the Performing Arts, find a place near the Performing Arts Center. And we looked
two or three places before then. And the story goes, the name at the time was
Finale's Cabaret and Restaurant. That is how we initially, and the word cabaret in
Oklahoma in the 1990s did not mean the type of cabaret entertainment you see in
New York City. That is musical theater, that's piano, piano bar, cabaret means strip
clubs. So we found this place over here on Cincinnati and 2nd, right behind what
was then Oklahoma Tire and Supply. It's now the Chinese place. And it was a twostory run-down building and we were gonna buy the building and renovate it.
And then the word got over to the Williams Companies that cabaret, that a strip club
was gonna open up across the street from the Williams Company's tower. And they
came in and bought it out from under us and tore the building down because they
didn't want a strip club because cabaret meant strip club. So we hunted for a couple
of other places and found this one over on 1st Street, which wasToby Jenkins: And that was an old historical hotel.
Pat Hobbs: That was an old historical hotel that was built in 21.
Dennis Neill: And who was the landlord?
Pat Hobbs: You know, the landlord, the legal landlord that owned the building or the
one that... The legal landlord was a guy by the name of Ferretti and he lived in
Oklahoma City. And he was this little short Italian guy who drove a big fancy
Mercedes. I think he was mob related. But he owned the building and then Mike
Sager got involved in it. And Michael Sager was the mouthpiece. And after we
vacated the building, Sager had his name put at the top of the building, the Sager,
but it's since gone. It's now Jacob, since Jacob's building again. But yeah, Michael
Sager was the mouthpiece for Mr. Ferretti.
Toby Jenkins: So this was going, and for our viewers, I was a waiter. And that is
where I met Mary and Sharon Bishop Baldwin. They were there celebrating their
anniversary. I was their waiter. I mean, it was a very, very elegant, impressive place

18

�to be. But I want to bring us to the place of closing night was what was going on in
the world, closing night.
Pat Hobbs: It was Y2K. You know, we had had, like I said, the night of Chicago was
our biggest night. We had a private party in between the dinner hour and the cast
party, and it was a big, and something happened in 1999, and the world was
predicted to go dark because of the changeover, Y2K, 2000. Everything was gonna
go, you're gonna lose your power. Nobody wanted to make New Year's Eve
reservations. The year before, we had two turns. We turned that restaurant twice on
New Year's Eve. This New Year's Eve, I think we may have had 80 reservations, and
that was it. So we ended up catering a dinner for 37 up to the IT people up at
Williams. So they, because they were on staff that night because we all knew the
lights were gonna go out, and they didn't.
Toby Jenkins: Oh yeah, we were afraid planes would fall out of the sky. Your
current model cars would just shut down. Your computers would.
Pat Hobbs: But you know, we were so hoping. I mean, you know, because
restaurants are, you know, your margins are that big in a restaurant. And that was
gonna get us through the next few months, you know, what we made off of New
Year's Eve, and it just didn't happen. So we just kind of, we turned our own lights
out.
Toby Jenkins: Yeah, so I want our viewers to know that it was Pat Hobbs' idea to
revitalize downtown Tulsa.
Pat Hobbs: Oh no.
Toby Jenkins: And you know, that, in 1999, he saw the vision, and so the city
councilors should name a street after you.
Pat Hobbs: And like I said, it was a very expensive MBA.
Toby Jenkins: So, you're together, you're in Tulsa, you have your careers, you have
your interests. Dennis has already questioned you about your involvement in all the
non-profits. During this time, what else has been going on in your life, and what was
passionate to you?
Pat Hobbs: Gardening, gardening. We loved our yard over on Rockford, designed,
initially designed by Dave Collins, did a fantastic job. We even brought cypress trees
up from the farm. We had some cypress trees cut and Dave designed a beautiful
cypress deck for us. And that was our passion for many, many years was our yard.
And John's even a Linnaeus, was Woodward Park Teaching Garden.
John Orsulak: Yeah, yeah. Formerly Linnaeus.
Pat Hobbs: And still, you still volunteer every Tuesday.
John Orsulak: Tuesday, now, yeah.
Toby Jenkins: With who?
John Orsulak: The Teaching Garden at Woodward Park, formerly Linnaeus, that's a
whole story. But, yeah, I do that just to keep my fingers in it, because it's, it was, well,

19

�when we moved from the house, we moved downtown for three years while we were
waiting for Heartland Commons to be built. And we really had no place to do, I could
still go out and do some things at the garden. He had nothing, and it was driving him
nuts. And that's been the one blessing of our current home is we've got a yard that's
pretty much nothing was there and gave him a place to play.
Dennis Neill: And give us a little more background on your thoughts about forming
Heartland Commons, your passion about that, some co-housing with you.
John Orsulak: Oh, gosh.
Pat Hobbs: Okay, real quick, I'll give you the condensed, real quick condensed
version. Performer Melanie Fry, we all know Melanie Fry here in town, been
performing for 50 years, just did a production of Love Letters back in, for Valentine's.
Melanie thought she and her girlfriends would get together and play water volleyball
and drink wine in the summertime. And they thought, well, wouldn't this be a great
idea if we all, as we age, all bought homes in the same cul-de-sac, and we can all
live together and watch and take care of each other.
Well, as they researched that, they found the co-housing website, and co-housing
was developed in Denmark back in the 60s. And one thing led to another, they had
an introductory meeting, Melanie is no longer involved in the project, she was for a
little while, but she got us started along with four other families that started this
journey back in 2015, I think.
John Orsulak: Sounds about right.
Pat Hobbs: It's been about 11 years when the initial conversation got started. But it's
all about aging in place, keep going.
John Orsulak: Well, it's, it's, you get, you, it's about community and having a
support network that you can depend on. The house is secondary, it's nice to have,
it's a new build, the, you're, you walk through the community to do what you need to
do. If you're going to get mail, it's kind of like a condo place where you do that,
however, if somebody's on their front porch, in co-housing, you're considered fair
game. And you can be, you can visit and interact. If they're on their back porch, you
usually leave them alone.
That's a private space, but you're walking to get your mail, which normally would
take you what, five, 10 minutes, depending on where you were in the community. For
us, and that would turn into a half hour or more because you keep running into
people who want to visit, who want to interact In some communities, that means a
glass of wine, bottle of beer, sitting on the rail of the porch and just interacting and
it's, it makes for a healthier lifestyle for older, for senior co-housing compared to
traditional co-housing that is multi-generational.
But it just enhances, gives you more opportunity for interaction, stimulation. You've
got somebody to depend on if you need a ride, if you're needing an egg. You put it
out there, somebody, you'll end up with a dozen eggs just because people want to
help you out.
Toby Jenkins: Very secure.

20

�Pat Hobbs: Very secure.
Pat Hobbs: And you kind of look out for each other.
John Orsulak: Right. We're basically our own neighborhood watch. That's evolved.
We've been there over a year and we've had a few issues, but we've been working
them out and had the Riverside Police, which is just two doors down from us, come
over one evening and talk to us about safe practices and what to do and what not to
do. And it's good to have those relationships.
Toby Jenkins: So it's intentional housing, not just organic where you may know your
neighbors and they sell their house and a new person moves in and you may not
care for them. These are all people you chose to be around.
Pat Hobbs: Everybody's become their best friends now. And it's kind of like family
too because you have personalities. And sometimes your personality is buttheads,
especially in a, what do I want to say, a homeowner's association meeting. And that
happens everywhere. But yeah, we have common meals twice or three times a
week. And it's where one of the residents will be responsible for buying the
provisions.
And we have a commercial kitchen in our common house and they are a team will do
this evening meal for six o'clock and do the cleanup and everybody chips in $7 for
their meal. And we all got, we had how many first St. Patrick's Day about, 28 or 29 of
us and had this St. Patrick's meal with corned beef and hash and cabbage and it's
community meal. It's all about community.
John Orsulak: Yeah, it's got its pros, it's occasional cons. But overall, it's been a
good experience.
Toby Jenkins: Let me deviate a little bit from this because I do feel like it was good
that we talk about that because there are going to be more of us that are older and
we, instead of just letting housing happen, this is you purposely planning, this is
what…
John Orsulak: Oh, we looked at over 50 properties when we were in the area,
north, south, east, downtown. And actually, we rejected the property we're currently
in originally but came back to it and we realized this is where we want to be.
Pat Hobbs: And it's five acres located at 71st and Riverside in that vicinity and it was
an old farm, two and a half acres per lot. So we took the five acres and our
community pitched in and we bought the property, we secured the bank loan to do
the construction.
John Orsulak: We designed it.
Pat Hobbs: We had consultants come in and design it.
John Orsulak: But we have, the nice thing with co-housing is you have input. You're
not dictated like a traditional senior living. Nothing wrong with them, if that's your
thing, good. But we set the rules. We have our own, we call them agreements that
we've developed so that everybody's on the same page. You're not told what to do.
You can do as much as you want. If you want to be active, you can be active. If you

21

�want to stay in your home, you can stay at home. We've got a mahjong group. We've
got puzzles and TV and movie nights and it's just kind of like, okay, that floats your
boat. You can be there. If not, you can just stay at home and curl up with your dog or
cat if you have one. And yeah.
Toby Jenkins: So thank you for sharing about this because this is, we've covered
kind of a lot of areas. I want to, what a lot of people may know you for is here at the
Lynn Riggs Theater in the Rainbow Room. Tell us a bit about your, just like Pat had
the vision for the revitalization of downtown Tulsa with his pioneering days, he had a
vision of he and John the Rainbow Room. And tell us a little bit about your vision for
that in the Lynn Riggs Theater.
Pat Hobbs: Well, let's go back to the 13 bullets for $13. That kind of, in my view, it
kind of kicked this whole thing off when we had to replace the front windows. And
that snowballed into basically an international fundraising campaign. But turning the
garage downstairs into a theater. Thanks to David Nelson's help and Dennis's help
and everybody else, I mean there were dozens of us on that team that were
consulting on this thing. But we opened it in February of 2018. 2018, which was eight
years ago. And I thought about it for a while and I thought, you know, let's do
something fun with it. And I went over, I made the proposal to you, Toby.
I remember going over to your house that afternoon and saying, I'd like to do this.
Take it to the board or see what you have to do. And came up with the idea of Third
Thursdays in the Rainbow Room. Which would be the third Thursday of every
month. We do musical presentations. Now I say musical presentations. Tulsa has a
plethora of talent in this town. And when people do their 32nd Chamber of
Commerce elevator speech, they always talk about the arts. The philharmonic, the
symphony, the ballet, the opera. But they don't really talk about the musical theater
company. We have such a talented group of people in this town. And that was my
vision, is to get some of these people, when they're not doing a show, to come in and
do an hour and a half show. Come in and do a two-hour show. Do your own thing. If
you want to do a one man show, do a one man show. If you've got half a dozen
people, come in. And they're thematic. And I think one of the neatest things that I
ever saw come out of this was a knight of musical theater. K-N-I-G-H-T, a knight of
musical theater. And it was all songs from Camelot and Something's Rotten and
Spamalot. And it was all songs about knights in musical theater. We've had some
wonderful talent come through here though. We only had two presentations in 2020
because of COVID. But we've had over 60, 61, I counted them today. We've had 61
individual presentations as part of the third Thursdays. And now it's just Thursdays in
the Rainbow Room because you can't just do the third Thursday. There's so much
going on in town that people schedule.
You've got to have it listed on a Thursday. But we've had 61 different performers.
Janet Rutland, who is one of the most talented singers in Northeast Oklahoma, does
her show in the Rainbow Room every two years. The latest one she did is around
the Hollywood Campfire with John Wooley. And it has taken off, and she has
performed that show all around Oklahoma this last year, but she premiered it here.
Travis Guillory did his first drag show here. And it was three years ago, so it was
2023, I think he did his first drag Christmas. And look at him, Travis is now Miss Gay
America.

22

�Toby Jenkins: Miss Gay America USA.
Pat Hobbs: But we've had some wonderful, wonderful talent through this place. And
I think it's exposed the center also. Having this little theater down here has exposed
the Tulsa community to what we have. Many people have come in to see their friend
perform, not just theater friends, but you know, like Janet, some of Janet's followings.
They didn't even know it existed. They didn't know the Equality Center existed.
You know, so they come down here and they, with our bar now and our seating, you
know, they just, it's just like a little nightclub on a Thursday night.
Dennis Neill: And Pat, do you think the opportunity for the performers to pocket a
little bit of money, is that kind of a unique opportunity for some of these performers
compared to the rest of them?
Pat Hobbs: You know, absolutely, when you do musical theater, when you do
community theater here in Tulsa, you don't get paid. It costs you two or three, $400 a
show with meals and gas and costumes. But here you've got a chance to curate your
own show. And the split that we've done with ticket sales is that the performers get
70% of the ticket sales. 30% goes back to the center. And you know, in most cases,
that's eight, 900, $1,100 that goes back to the performer, you know, which, I don't
know, you know, pays your pianist. It keeps, it's just a little enticement to keep
people going, you know? Yeah.
Dennis Neill: And knowing how important theater has been for both of you all this
time, what do you think is the health of our theater community and where do you see
it going in the future? Much like we've seen in other groups, there's a lot of small
spinoffs and a lot of new theaters emerging. Are we healthy enough to support these
and how do you feel like the direction is going to go for live theater?
John Orsulak: That concerns me at this stage. Having moved, when I moved here,
summer stage was still going on at the Performing Arts Center and that meant that
was the only opportunity to do a musical for most, when Pat was doing Little Shop,
or not Little Shop, Best Little Whorehouse when I moved here. And that was it. You
had one show, one musical, and there were no touring companies coming around as
I recall. A lot of straight plays, comedies, dramas, but if you aren't into that, it gave
you no avenue.
Now, I fear there have become so many splintered groups and so many
organizations now within the community that it's almost spread too thin. They have
so many opportunities now where these kids can do multiple shows in a year,
multiple musicals in a year. But are there enough audience people to support it? It
gets expensive. This past month, I don't know how many shows were going on, and
the performers who want to go out and support their friends, they can't afford and
they have to pick and choose. Okay, I can go to this show, but I'm gonna have to
skip this one, or can I get to an IVR to see a rehearsal?
Pat Hobbs: Our budget only allows us to go see so much. We're seeing, this is the
third weekend of three weekends since we've been back, and it's like, okay, do we
want to go? I want to go see my friends, but you know, yeah, there's a finite
audience out there, I think, but they're doing some fantastic stuff. They're just doing
some awesome, awesome shows.

23

�John Orsulak: And a lot of the, like Theatre Tulsa, for example, they've had ebbs
and flows, the dips. So when I was there, it was an upswing, and then it had a major
dip funding-wise, and they struggled, and they almost went under. But they clawed
their way back up, and they've been able to, I think, restore, you know, there are
always things you're always going to disagree with, as far as philosophy or structure.
But, you know, Theatre Tulsa has that studio now, that used to be a dollar store, and
it seems to be doing well.
Pat Hobbs: It kind of makes me mad that they did that, because we've got this
beautiful 100-seat theater here that they can use, but now they're using their own,
because it doesn't cost them anything, you know?
John Orsulak: But the nice thing with this theater, with Lynn Riggs, is it is small. It's
a black box, so you have lots of flexibility on how it's used. You've got people, like
Eli, running things, as far as the tech part of it. And it's big enough to do some good,
solid productions, but it's small enough to be...
Pat Hobbs: And we have done some really neat things here. I mean, when the Lynn
Riggs can host the Tulsa Opera in a performance of I Love You, You're Perfect, Now
Change, and do the job that they did, it was a beautiful production. And even
Chamber Music Tulsa, you know, was booked in here. So, it's taken a few years, but,
you know, word's getting out.
Toby Jenkins: Well, I may be overreaching, and Dennis can slap me, but that's
because of you. You made it happen. He made sure the resources were there, but
you sold Tulsa on Lynn Riggs' theater.
Dennis Neill: Yeah, you've helped bring Bill and Jason aboard to carry on some
interesting...
Pat Hobbs: I know, and I'm so, so excited about those two guys who bring just
another level of energy, another age, another age group, and the way Bill and Jason
have embraced the community, and the way the community have embraced Bill and
Jason, to have this new Broadway Clubhouse come out here later this month is just
so exciting. I can't wait.
Toby Jenkins: Okay, I just want to ask you, I had a situation that...How does it feel
to be the face of the gay community as an older couple? How does it feel? And by
that I'm talking about the day that you were on the front cover of Life Senior
Services.
Pat Hobbs: Vintage Magazine.
Toby Jenkins: Their very first openly gay married couple in Oklahoma. And how did
that feel? And did you get any... I know that's incredible support, but I want to know,
have y'all had experience pushback at your life in this time?
John Orsulak: No, we've been told some people, what, three times over the years.
I'm not saying we're normalized, but we certainly were nothing to be afraid of. And
we believe in the community. We're the only gay couple at Heartwood Commons.
That doesn't mean we won't have more, but we're accepted, we're not shunned.

24

�Pat Hobbs: I just wish that I had a publicist, because all these things just came
about. I mean, there was no rhyme or reason. I don't have an agent. To have all
these things happen, you know, Tulsa People three times, and Vintage Magazine,
and then there's a couple more. They just happen. They just happen.
Toby Jenkins: Yeah, Vintage Magazine goes to 400,000 people. Did you know
that?
Pat Hobbs: No, I did not.
Toby Jenkins: It's one of the largest senior publications in the country.
Pat Hobbs: I feel honored. Well, you know how that came about.
Toby Jenkins: No, you tell us.
Pat Hobbs: My post-retirement gig at the Garden Center, I was keeping their books,
and there was a young gentleman that was doing an internship in communications,
coordinating website, Facebook, Instagram, and all of this. Actually, Vintage Tulsa
called him to find…they wanted a face for their issue, and he had the office right next
to him. He says, hey, Pat, you and John want to do this? I said, okay. It didn't even
dawn on me that he could have picked another couple. He could have picked a
heterosexual couple. He could have picked an individual. But he just leaned over
and said, hey, you and John want to do this? They need somebody for the cover of
this magazine. Oh, okay. But we never got any derogatory feedback on that. Never
got any hate mail.
Toby Jenkins: So you may not have gotten hate mail, and you may not have gotten
overt rejection or harassment. As a couple, have there been times when you've
known if you were welcome in the room or not? I mean, you talked earlier about the
crews. Yeah, the Malcolm Baldrige.
Pat Hobbs: Well, the Baldrige Award thing, where the principal moved his chair two
feet away. You know, at this day and age, not so much anymore.
John Orsulak: Yeah, I just say this is my husband, and like it or love it.
Pat Hobbs: You know, honest to God, since the legalization back in 2014, that's
what we do. We introduce each other as our husbands, not partner, not roommate. I
mean, and it's more accepted, isn’t it?
John Orsulak: I just say it.
Toby Jenkins: Well, that leads us right into kind of the closing of our time together.
What would you say, I mean, our situations, we're seeing so much pushback against
our community, on public policy. Today, the lead story in Tulsa, Oklahoma and the
Tulsa World was state agencies, not state-funded organizations or agencies or
colleges or universities or schools, could not acknowledge Pride Month. They
couldn't fly a rainbow flag.
Pat Hobbs: Well, let me tell you a story about what happened over at the Garden
Center a couple of years ago. Dennis, thank you for the flag. May I tell this story? So,
you supplied...

25

�Dennis Neill: Tulsa Progress Flags.
Pat Hobbs: Tulsa Progress Flags. And it was flown, the Garden Center manager,
Lee, flew it over the teaching garden and was instructed that the only time that the
flag could be flown was during the month of June and immediately take it down the
first of July. You know, half the staff at the garden center at the time identifies as
LGBTQ+. And it was a city, it's city property. Take the flag down. Just made me so
mad. You know, and this whole thing with the flag, it doesn't make any sense. What
have we done differently over the last 20 years? Why now? Why are you offended?
Toby Jenkins: So what would be your messages to those who come after us or for
young activists? I always like to say it this way. In a hundred years, archaeologists
are going to dig through the ruins of this property and they're going to discover that
there was a day in America where there had to be LGBT centers and they uncover
our archives. So the archaeologists, when they uncover your interview, what would
be your message for the future, for those who come after us, and for young LGBTQ
people and who identify as queer today?
John Orsulak: Gosh, it's changed so much over the my lifetime. I have a former
student of mine, fifth grade. I remember seeing him doing pirouettes on the
playground. And I pegged him. At least I thought I did. And then later on, sure
enough, and he's very now very active in the arts community here in Tulsa, has a
husband, supportive family, and it's just like, oh, you know, it's become normal, much
more normalized, and I hope it continues to be normalized where we don't have to
live with any fear.
That it's just, we're kind of at the point where it's like, I don't give a damn anymore.
You know, you live with who I am, how I am, and if you don't like it, then go away or
do whatever and I'll survive. I'm a worker bee, so it doesn't bother me.
Pat Hobbs: Well, I've got my political comments, some that need to remain. I need
to sit on it for a minute, but these bigots out there, these right-wing bigots, why now?
What have we done? Like I said, what have we done? You still get your hair cut by a
gay barber, okay? You still buy flowers at a gay florist, don't you? I don't understand
why this movement is... And the one thing that scares me, though, is that they call
them immigration detention centers for all these warehouses, that these empty
warehouses, they're going to put all these immigration…I don't think it's going to be
mostly for immigrants. I think it's going to turn out they're going to pick and choose
what part of society goes in these places.
That's just my opinion. I don't think there's enough immigrants to fill up all these
warehouses.
Toby Jenkins: Any other things for the future or for those who come after us or for
today, for people who are wanting to know what to do.
John Orsulak: And use your resources, the Equality Center. I hope it survives and
continues to flourish because you need this. You need support. You know, if you're
not alone, they need to know that.
Pat Hobbs: The one thing I have learned from the Rainbow Room and the people
who come here is that we are designated here at OkEq as a safe place. Always have
been. And I guess it was during Pride or maybe that first Pride piano thing that we
26

�had a couple of years ago. But I had a lady come up to me and say, I feel safe here.
Yes, that's why we need this place.
Toby Jenkins: Well, it is March 19th, 2026 and today our interviewees, our special
guests have been John Orsulak and Pat Hobbs. And they've been together 36 years.
And joining us have been Dennis Neill, the founder of Oklahomans for Equality, and
Amanda Thompson, the archivist. And this is Toby Jenkins. Thank you so much for
tuning in.

27

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              <text>[Page 1]&lt;br /&gt;LEGAL SEMINAR&lt;br /&gt;KATHY NELSON&lt;br /&gt;Executive Coordinator &lt;br /&gt;AIDS Legal Resources Project&lt;br /&gt;April 22, 1999&lt;br /&gt;7:00 pm&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TULSA GAY COMMUNITY SERVICES CENTER&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;38th and Peoria&lt;br /&gt;(The Pride Center)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;[Page 2]&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;OKLAHOMA LESBIAN AND GAY LAWYERS ASSOCIATION&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;P.O. Box 3352&lt;br /&gt;Tulsa, Oklahoma 74101&lt;br /&gt;(918) 583-7750&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;VIA U.S. Mail&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Tom Neal, Publisher/Editor&lt;br /&gt;Tulsa Family News&lt;br /&gt;POB 4140&lt;br /&gt;Tulsa, OK 74159-0140&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Re: Know Your Legal Rights Seminar&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dear Tom:&lt;br /&gt;The Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights and the Oklahoma Lesbian and Gay Lawyers Association would like to invite you and any other interested people to attend a seminar on legal issues affecting persons with HIV/AIDS. The seminar will be led by Kathy Nelson on &lt;strong&gt;Thursday, February 18, 1999, at 7:30 p.m. at the Tulsa Gay Community Services Center (formerly the Pride Center) at 38th and Peoria.&lt;/strong&gt; Ms. Nelson will give an overview of some of the legal issues faced by persons with HIV/AIDS and the pro bono assistance provided by the AIDS Legal Resource Project.&lt;br /&gt;Ms. Nelson is the Executive Coordinator for the AIDS Legal Resource Project. She graduated from Oklahoma State University and Oklahoma City University School of Law. She has had a private practice in the areas of oil and gas law, family law, estate planning and probate law. Ms. Nelson is also a board member of CarePoint, Inc., a non-profit consortium of AIDS resources and education which coordinates health care and support services for those with HIV/AIDS.&lt;br /&gt;The AIDS Legal Resource Project was created three years ago to empower people with HIV/AIDS with the knowledge and assistance needed to maintain control over their lives. The Project offers effective and free legal assistance to those who qualify by connecting them to one of the more than 150 private attorneys statewide.&lt;br /&gt;Attorneys on the Project's Panel offer help in several critical areas. If you have been denied social security benefits, an attorney can help collect the necessary documentation for the Administrative Hearing. In fact, having an attorney present at the Hearing increases the chance of being awarded benefits by more than 50%. The AIDS Legal Resource Project also gives advice regarding other state and federal entitlement programs.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;[Page 3]&lt;br /&gt;The Project also assists clients who have been unfairly denied health, life or disability insurance. Information is available on how to keep and extend insurance coverage after work is no longer possible.&lt;br /&gt;If you are fired from a job, denied housing or equal access to health care&lt;br /&gt;because of your HIV status, an attorney can file a Complaint with the appropriate authorities. If necessary, the representation will continue through the various stages of the process, including litigation and settlement negotiations. When HIV/AIDS is directly involved, adoption and other family law matters can be handled by an attorney with expertise in that area. Finally, the Project can help end harassment by creditors.&lt;br /&gt;To learn how you can make take more control over these and other related issues, attend the seminar at the Tulsa Gay Community Services Center. For more information, please call (918) 743-4297.&lt;br /&gt;Sincerely,&lt;br /&gt;KERRY R. LEWIS&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Enclosure&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;[Page 4]&lt;br /&gt;OLGLA&lt;br /&gt;Post Office Box 3352&lt;br /&gt;Tulsa, Oklahoma 74101&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Tom Neal&lt;br /&gt;Publisher/Editor&lt;br /&gt;Tulsa Family News&lt;br /&gt;Post Office Box 4140&lt;br /&gt;Tulsa, Oklahoma 74159-0140</text>
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                <text>[2006] Kelly Kirby Interview</text>
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                <text>Video recording and transcript of oral history interview with Laura Belmonte on May 6, 2006. &lt;strong&gt;Video and Transcript available at the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center for on-site research.&lt;/strong&gt; Born on November 25, 1953, he graduated from high school in 1971. Faced with a draft number of 25, Kelly joined the Air Force in 1972. While very closeted during his service, while based in California, he would make trips to Santa Barbara and a few other locations to some bars and on occasion attended the Metropolitan Community Church in Santa Barbara as he was dealing with his sexual orientation. After leaving the military in 1975, he returned to Kansas and got involved with a cult Christian Group, The Way. In 1977, he married and they had 4 children. In 1980, they moved to Oklahoma City, he soon started a CPA practice and by 1986 relocated to Tulsa. He joined Homosexuals Anonymous as part of dealing with his conflicts with sexuality, family and religion. In 1990, his wife and Kelly agreed to separate and eventually divorce. He became an HIV tester with Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights in 1991 and discusses his further involvement with the gay community and TOHR, serving on the board in the early 1990s and treasurer, president and later serving as TOHR’s accountant. He became active with the local PFLAG Chapter and with the support of Nancy McDonald, joined the national board of PFLAG in 1993. He reviews the difficult environment in the 1993-1994 time period when the Tulsa Human Rights Commission proposed some ordinance changes to address LGBTQ discrimination.</text>
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